I’d like to lay out a premise before I begin my rant... it's interesting how much of an emotional train wreck i become when pmsing.. therefore, the following post will be a bit dramatic in nature.. it's as if I’ve become possessed by some outside source prohibiting me to have control of myself or the situation around me... so boo to that.. Let’s begin with July 4th. This would probably have to be the most challenging July 4th’s that I’ve participated during the 25 years of my existence. The picture that you see to the left was taken of me taking pictures of fireworks on July 4th, 2004. In that four year time span, I can't believe how much I’ve evolved, and how much i can't relate to that picture anymore In that picture I was wearing 2 American flags, one on each ear. I looked like a fool, I’m sure :o). I recall random strangers taking pictures of me and how excited i was because I wanted ppl to see that being Muslim and American were compatible. I NEEDED ppl to recognize that both values ran parallel to one another. Now I could give a f**** This year I tied a Palestinian belt around my wait. I highly doubt anyone noticed This July forth, all I could think about was how this country was founded, and the circumstances it was founded on. All I could think about was the autocracies that this country is built upon, about the unwarranted policies that we engage in, about the innocent lives that we’ve murdered. Each firework that exploded sounded like bombs..over Bagdad, over Filastin, Sudan, Afghanistan, Bosnia, Somalia…... with the final explosions sounding like an endless spray of bullets…. I know there was thunderous applause in the background, but all I heard was silence… the silence of the guiltless souls waiting for their retribution Being a product of an immigrant family, we’re told to not really question the opportunities available to us…that the American dream is real. That hard work would ultimately be the driving force towards wealth and prosperity. Which seems to be vastly different from my roommates experience as an African American growing up. How could I have not recognized all this? How was I so blindly patriotic? Did it take working on the hill to see that? Another topic at hand is women’s progression or lack of progression as equals in ‘western’ society. What perplexes me is how much America claims to have moved away from reducing women to mere filth and meat. How they claim to venerate women to that of men, as equals. How they claim that Islam is at the forefront of oppressing women, because they perceive a piece of cloth on one’s head as domineering act forced by men. When in actuality, both women and men in God’s eyes are equals, both responsible for their actions and thoughts. God’s words of equality that should be manifested into action..but it aint. This weekend, it was confirmed that a real, authentic and conscious level of social equality does not exist. Men still perceive women as objects, and do everything in their power to justify and rationalize the situation… to completely dehumanize going to a strip club so they can sleep peacefully at night. To pretend as if supporting the attendance of strip clubs does not perpetuate the objectification of women... a disappointment that wasn’t a pretty sight. What’s also remarkable, is that those who judge peoples character, people’s level of morality and decency are the exact one that participate in what I would consider more outrageous acts of ‘’indecent’’ behavior. But I suppose we’re all human, and weak. It’s the denial of the infallibleness, weakness and limitations that’s dangerous. To have no shame to have no guilt for one’s actions… is dangerous… as dark-wing duck would say ‘’let’s get dangerous’’… My final rant is relating to my part time job. I work with people that have starkly different life experience than my colleagues on the hill. The disparities and differences are endless… why is it that their lives are caught up in murder, in drive-bys in drugs and abuse…. I want to protect them from being hurt, I don’t want them to feel this never ending immeasurable pain and anguish. After everything that occurs on a daily basis, how can he smile…? This one man in particular, 21 years old.. never went to high but attended trade school for 2 years. Interested in becoming a mechanic. I asked him about his dreams, a question I know no one inquired about. I asked him, if he could what would be his ultimate aspirations, where does he want him and his family to be 10 years? Why is college not for him. I defiantly pushed him.. challenged him. And I could sense an extreme level of discomfort. After 5 hours of working with him, he asked if I was a motivational speaker.. I said no, ‘’I was just angry that you can’t see the capacity that you have within you.’’ That no one in his 21 years has believed in him enough to push him beyond what he knows…beyond the daily grind that he sees in front of him… such a sad state… but by the end of the night, he said that no one’s ever made him look at college like that… to make him see that it’s within his reach … at the end of the night, he called me buddy and I’m going to kick his butt in pool next week :o) Maybe if I can touch one life, this emotional train wreck will be worth it…. | 
