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normajeannemonroe
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Name: kelly
Country: United States
State: Missouri
Metro: Kansas City
Birthday: 2/27/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: theatre, art, independent film, people watching, tickle fights, FIGHT CLUB, partying all night, sleeping all day, introspection
Expertise: falling in love, falling in lust, long showers, good books, singing off key, dancing in the rain, smoking cigarettes and watching Capt. kangaroo.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  kllyggh
Yahoo:  judy_is_a_punk02@yahoo.com
Member Since:
8/27/2004
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| i wish my hair was still purple. i haven't changed my profile picture on purpose b/c i miss my hair being that color so much. and it's probably one of the best pictures of me ever. i just read my last entry again. depressing much? i don't know why going home to troy does that to me. it seems like if i'm there for more than a day or two i get super emotionally crazy. ok, so my life isn't exactly the way i want it to be right now. but i'll be fine. moving to k.c. in may. out of this crazy "i drive 8 hours a week back and forth" bullshit. i'm all alone in the 'burg. no one is in town. i'm talking nobody. i'm currently trying to watch "the last kiss" with zach braff in it. it's really too bad that he seems like the exact same character from garden state. just with more money. we'll see what happens... i'm sleepy. maybe i'll just go to sleep....at 8 o'clock on a friday night.....i'm so lame. new years in STL this year. this is me... super excited. woot! | | |
| xanga has changed. i don't know about all this new-fangled technology we're bringing into play here. it's just weird.
i realized tonight that emotional talk for a prolonged period of time
makes me really uncomfortable. This is pretty upsetting to me. I used
to love to talk for hours about all kinds of deep and intimate things.
I loved being open and searching my feelings for every little ounce of
emotion there was. lately, i'd just rather watch t.v. I've closed
myself up a lot in the past 2 years.
2 years.
that's how long he's been gone. It blows my mind sometimes. sometimes
i'll wake up and half expect a call from him. I'm so scared of emotion
now. I'm frustrated at life and myself for not being able to deal with
it like i really should. it amazes me how you can feel so alone when
you're constantly surrounded by people. I almost just typed "oh well".
It's become too much of a recurring theme in my life. "oh well" i had a
bad day, Let's go get drunk. "oh well" I haven't finished a book in a
year, i'll get around to using my brain again... eventually."oh well"
I'm completely closed off. I've been hurting myself with all this pent
up emotion and frustration. I really just want to be able to say what's
inside of me. But i've even closed myself off. I don't even know what i
should be saying, or thinking, or feeling. I feel like a zombie by
choice a lot of the time. and it's been hurting for too long.
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| catch my disease.that's the way i like it. i don't really know what's going on right now. xanga has become, for me, only a place that i think of once in a blue moon. mostly when i feel sad or melancholy. much like now. i am drunk on white wine and lack of social contact. also a bit of Ben Lee. i've been thinking too much lately. about everything. about what it means to be where i am in my life. what i should want. what i have. what i wish i had. sometimes i miss being ignorant to the world. sometimes i wish feeling like i was artistic. sometimes i miss not knowing what this feeling felt like. sometimes i wish i was a poet. but we are all poets in our own right. | | |
| witty titledo you ever wish you were more original?
i do.
i feel like everything i do and say has already been done or said. everything that i think is special about me is also special about some other girl walking down the street past me. i think this world of cookie cutters really hurts the soul sometimes. mass production is forced so hard down our throats. do you think there will be a day when they'll start mass producing personalities and new parents can just go to the store and pick one up for their little bundle of joy? babies will probably start coming with a flash drive plug-in too.....
don't mind me. it's the hormones talking. | | |
| credit card debt is sucking my will to live...................... i want to shoot every creditor in the foot, maybe just the big toe. just so it would hurt for them to walk for, oh i don't know, EVER!!! Gah!! i hate it!
well, other than that. school is sucking my will to live and i rarely go anymore. it's kind of sad actually. i'm so done with class.. BUT!! other than that and that. i like life. i'm moving to a new place in a couple weeks and maybe even getting a puppy. woot.
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