| | I'm such a liar. I know I said I would go on hiatus because of AP exams, but here I am, two days before Calculus. I couldn't help it, I wanted to write something about HIM. But not about HIM, not the boy far away whom I never see, who had taken over my thoughts long ago. I'm talking about HIM, as in the one right in front of me, my friend, who treats me too nicely for it to go on unnoticed.
Countless times, I look back and tell myself it's nothing.
And every time, I try to forget.
I've come to the conclusion that I never will get over him.
He's hovering in that grey area, the place where friendship and love blurs into a confusing mess.
If only he didn't hold my hand so often -
If only he didn't put his face so close to mine today -
If he would just SAY what he is really feeling, maybe it'd go away, but maybe it wouldn't.
I swear he was going to kiss me today.
The thought of losing it so quickly - because I have my first kiss to lose - scares me.
Does it have to be from someone so special?
What would we be like together?
He's already said he's not ready for a relationship at all, but I don't know.
I know I'm not either, but would it work?
(Don't misunderstand, I didn't talk about a relationship with HIM. We just talked about relationships in general.)
Seeing a picture of him from sophomore year, back when I hadn't met him yet.
He looked different - like a child, yet still as outspoken as the person I know today.
Wondering about the possibilities...
Okay, time to study.
Is that your immediate solution? What happened to the past?
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| | Posted 5/5/2008 6:25 PM - 8 comments
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