Have you Ever?

Yet.. he says, “71 It was good for me to be afflicted, so that I might learn your decrees… 75 I know, O LORD, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you have afflicted me.”

To say that it is good to be afflicted and calling the affliction faithfulness..
How can one say such thing?  It would be because one has hope or faith in something.

“49 Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. 50 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.”

It is through the promise of His salvation that this man is able to give thanks and hold on to hope.. 

(if you read the whole chapter it is pretty clear his situation is rather dire)
Now let’s look back at the verse.
“Lamp on to my feet.. “  Why his feet? I think that we can guess couple things here.

1. Lamp on to my feet simply means that he is in a dark place.  The place is so dark he can not look ahead of him.
2. It is dangerous place.  If it is not dangerous people would use it to light further ahead instead of trying to prevent a bad footing.
3. It is probably safe to assume that he is cautious,

“110 The wicked have set a snare for me..” Did he already step in one?  Is that why he is lighting his path with the single light he has?

This verse is starting to have greater meaning more I think about it..
Is the darkness so vast that even if one tries to light the room, nothing will reflect?
Either way, one thing for certain is that this person is in fear and uncertainty.. and without This Lighting onto his feet he would be hopeless to escape unharmed.

Again like me.. :p

I found it rather interesting that this verse is spoken so lightly, when its actual implications are rather deep and serious.  And specially for the chapter it resides in, His Word (promise) is the only Hope of survival.

Today, I got to praise and thank God for the affliction and for the grace of salvation that is promised to me..  
(I have gotten 2 hours of sleep in the last 33 hours or so… so if it does not make sense to you, sorry)

Be bold!

7 He will have no fear of bad news;
       his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
8 His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
       in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.

Geeky Sap..

Praise God!

Kamikaze

After getting off my night shift this morning, I went to a bank to cash a check.  Just the morning before I had found out another surprise and another bad news, I was tired and groggy to put it mildly. 

Typically afterwork I am very low on energy I usually go home and sleep.  But it turned out that bank was opening hourand a half later than posted on their website. I had the choice of making another trip or to wait it out.  But thanks to the current gas prices I decided to wait.

Next to the bank was a Starbucks.  I got a tall coffee and took out my bible.  Accordingto this reading schedule I was to read psalm 40-45.

So I started. 
As I read Psalm 40-45 (first QT done on own in a long time) I could not help but to feel that it was talking to me.
Specially Psalm 40:11-12 had me speechless.
By the time I was reading 42:11 where David is asking, "why are you down cast my soul?"  my mind went numb.  Why is my soul down casted?.

I ended up reading today's reading twice.  In so many ways I could relate to David.  I remembered how, right after being saved, I could not help but to speak of His love and grace to everyone I met.  He was the rock and I had fallen, much by my own weakness.

As I read over I could not help notice how I missed the things I had tasted in the past.  The presence of Him, the opportunity to serve Him, His life flowing through me..  I entered a state of trance where I could not help but to just recount the past testimonies of my short Christian life.

Then I remembered people memorizing chapter 139 in Psalm’s class. So opened up Psalm 139.
Verse 7 and 8.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
         Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
         If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

Another reminder from the past.  He is always there.  “If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.”
I could not help wondering if He was here with me at this moment, here in Hell I have created and entered.

As I was still down just thinking of how I had fallen, then kamikaze.. (divine wind)
A gentle breeze blew and opened my bible to Job 19.
For some reason I wanted to read it.  I wanted to hear His voice through His words again.

As I read
25For Iknow that my Redeemer lives,
      And He shall stand at last on the earth;
26 And after my skin is destroyed, this I know,
      That in my flesh I shall see God,
27 Whom I shall see for myself,
      And my eyes shall behold, and not another.
      How my heart yearns within me!

I remembered that He is my redeemer..
I am a sinner through and through and I am so far from complete.  Yet by Jesus dying for me on the Cross, I am His. 
And.. He will redeem me as He has done before.

“For I know my redeemer lives..” this verse would not leave my mind.

After I cashed the small check, I drove back home. And while driving I started to pray..
With my usual prayer opening, “Hi God, How are you?”
Those of you who know me well, probably saw me cry out for the orphans and the persecuted Christians in North Korea.
But I usually pray pretty silently for myself, even toned and much silent thoughts.
Specially,when I am asking for something for myself I am pretty silent, for I do not feel that I deserve them.

But this time around I found my voice rising.  Louder and louder.. as if pleading.
“You did not send me here just to see me fall did you? I was not meant to come here to desire death like Job was I?”
As if puss filled wound exploding out, I felt my pain and worries flowing out of me.  With a trembling voice I cried out,
“Unlike Job, I realize that these things are happening due to my sins.  But Lord, I know my redeemer lives! I know myredeemer lives!”

I found myself pleading out loud with fear and hope.

After miles of pleading I found myself reciting verses of a song I often desire to sing forthe North Korean Christians.

Blessed BeYour Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed beYour name

Blessed BeYour name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name.

In Jesus name I prayed.

There was some form of peace back in my heart.  And a new energy in me I did not sense for a long time.
What ever tomorrow brings, Blessed be Your name Lord. Oh and.. thank you for the reminders.