oDarkSunshineo's Xanga

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Tue, 22 May 2007 21:02:03 GMT

i have the faint feeling that this summer is going to be more than just a little boring and that econ is going to blow nuts... :-\

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Sat, 19 May 2007 00:35:39 GMT

i am way too sensitive for life.

i always feel like no one really likes me.

i am pathetic.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 22:57:29 GMT

i'm just sick of...

certain people

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 20:42:02 GMT

one of my biggest pet peeves ever is when you're sitting with a group of people and they talk about something that they all know about, except you, and it's some kind of big ole secret and they don't including. i think that is one of the rudest things ever!

today was a shit day. and yesterday was also. please pray for all the students at VA Tech, that is some of the saddest news i have ever heard. so many people have been affected by all of this and my heart and prayers go out to them.

not much else to say...

Monday, April 09, 2007

Mon, 09 Apr 2007 00:23:13 GMT

so clearly i was not ready.

ugh, maybe this week. maybe i'll kick it in to high gear. my prob isn't starting, it's KEEPING with it.

i am a lazy bum lately, can i please just lay around and watch tv and read books forever lol.

easter was good :)

and i love my bf an unimaginable amount <3

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 22:16:42 GMT

i think i am finally ready psychological, emotionally, aaaannnnnndddd physically.

thanks for being my inspiration. :)

ps. spring break rocked.

and i can't wait to see jag this weekend.

that's all

Friday, March 09, 2007

Fri, 09 Mar 2007 01:13:18 GMT

if you haven't guessed, i feel like POOP. ugh. i have some sort of chest cold brewing and my chest and throat and breathing system HURTS. and when i wake up it's even worse. yuck. i just took an expectorant so hopefully i can sleep through the night! PLUS i gained like a million pounds this semester and i am going to mexico in a week with some of the thinnest people i know and SIZE IS RELATIVE so i'm going to look like an effing whale. this medicine i'm on now is making me gain weight and i am nooot happy. how do you lose medicine weight?? ugh!!!!
and to add to the poop feeling i have 3 midterms and a paper due next week. fun right? NOT. i've been doing well so far this semester (a 100% on my learning psych exam which is supposed to be one of the hardest psych classes for majors, and a 99% on my psych of women class - totally kicking some A-S-S right?) but 3 at a time is killer. at least i have already written the paper and submitted it for feedback so hopefully i'll only have to make a few changes here or there... that would be lovely. but these exams of course are essay exams which you have to study extra hard for. ewww. grrrr!!! i can't wait til i get a break and can just sit in the acapulco sun drinking fruity drinks all day long. thanks.

in happy news... jas has started his new job. he is making lots of money close to home YAY! we'll be rich soon - except he is buying a new car this summer (a 350Z! they are hott!!) because his car, in all honesty, is a piece. and he deserves something fancy. i told him he has to go all out and get all the special stuff in it, including the navigation system cuz those things are just so awesome. well i am going to get back to reading about the history of psychology and then hit the hay!

my senior quote really explains everything.

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 13:49:18 GMT

"no one truly cares if you're miserable..."
it's sad but true. how many of us want to hear people bitching about their day? how many people would just wish that the complaining would just stop. i mean, i'm a number one complainer and i'm sure that my friends must be tired of hearing about it. when you cry, people are just annoyed. when you hurt, people wish you would grow up. when you're mad, people think you're being irrational. even the ones you thought cared about you the most. they don't care. well they do, about themselves. but not really about you. in fact, they care so little about you that they instigate your problems to try to prove how irrational you are. and then when you blatantly say i am hurting and you are not caring, they lie. no one wants to comfort you or ask if you are alright. they don't want to know why your week has been stressful or why you are hurting so badly. they just want you to shut up.
"...so you might as well be happy"
even if you have to pretend. in order to appease everyone, you might as well just be your silly, goofy, funny normal "self." even if that isn't who you are and you are dying inside. they just want to see the funny you. it is a relief to not, for one day, have to pick you back up. it is a relief to not have to hear your bitching or crying. it is a relief to them to not have to DEAL with you.

sorry anyone ever has to deal with me.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 22:48:29 GMT

i feel like doodoo.
i miss having a best friend.
i miss having friends at home at all.
i'm just in a funk i guess... i have been lately.
i'm jealous, too.

went to the neuro today. i'm going to start on daily meds. they're for anxiety/depression but apparently they treat migraines. maybe i won't be in a funk anymore lol. i got all As and a B in stupid english this semester. i have to have a 3.75 by graduation. i just HAVE to. i have a 3.7 right now. can i raise it .05 in 2 semesters?? i surely hope so. i have to plan recruitment retreat. i want to get married. that's all.

growing up and lessons learned

Tue, 02 Jan 2007 21:38:37 GMT

I was inspired to write this after attending a wedding and having the first decent conversation with a high school friend in about 2 or 3 years. I wish it all didn't go down the way it did...

Part of growing up is making lots of realizations. Realizations about life, love, friendship... everything really. I realize that I have made many mistakes in my mere 20 years of existance, but also I've realized that there isn't anything I can do to erase those mistakes. All I really can do is focus on the present and hope for the future. To do better what I have once done wrong. I realize I've been a bad friend but I know that I am also a good friend. I just don't understand friendships I guess. Or relationships for that matter. People, as I have learned through life and my studies, are very complicated beings. Sometimes the relationships we have with others will thrive and grow and become something of an eternal presence. Other times, friendships simply won't work out or maybe they weren't even meant to be. All I am capable of is being me, flaws and all. And you either accept that or you don't. Please know though, that I do try. I try to smooth things over and I am finally forgiving. I am learning, as my maturity is developing, that although it is not an easy feat, getting over things is vital in order to not feel disorder and hatred in oneself. Basically, I'm ready to move on from what happened in high school. I understand that friendships may never again be present or as strong as they once were but I also believe that a mellow ground can be achieved and standing one another's presence isn't such a far fetched idea... and would probably make everyone's lives a little easier.