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| Alright, I'm a good two weeks late in posting these, but here's the
pictures from Steubenville. Take a look, leave some props and comments,
and enjoy.
Zach, Kendyl, Amanda, Catherine, Abby
Everybody before we went to dinner on Friday
Abby and Kendyl at the Saturday entertainment
Amanda, Catherine, and Abby eating lunch
Zach, the typical Asian
Everybody Sunday before we left
The man, RIGHTEOUS B!!!!
I guess those are the only decent ones I got. I have more, I'll post them in a later entry, so until then, enjoy. Later.
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| Ok, Steubenville Year 3. I don't even know where to start, but I will
say that this year's conference was by far the most powerful out of the
three. Thank you to Joe, Zach, Chris, Matt, Mark, Jeff, Amanda, Kendyl,
Abby, Catherine, Becca, Maggie, Chelsea, Shannon, and Aimee for being
there for me to share this experience with, and thanks to Lamby, Jayne,
Mrs. Leitz, and Mr. O'Callahan for keeping track of us. Here's the
day-by-day recap.
This year was a little different than the past two years because we
went to stay the night at St. Vincent's Archabbey in Latrobe,
Pennsylvania, the home of the Benedictine monks.
Thursday: Got up at 4:30
in the morning, after only a little more than a one-hour sleep. Loaded
all my stuff up in the car, and got to St. Gregory's around 5:15. I was
the second one there behind Aimee. After everybody got there, we all
loaded up the luggage in the back of Mrs. Leitz's minivan. I rode the
first half of the Thursday right in the minivan with Chris, Matt, and
Mark. We played cards (spades and hearts) until I was forced to switch
with Aimee because she was getting tired of the noise level from Zach
and Jeff. So yeah, no problem, right? Wrong. We stop at Sbarro's on the
Pennsylvania Turnpike for lunch, the same Sbarro's we stopped at on our
way to Rise Up. I was fine there, and somehow, someway, I made it to
Latrobe without throwing up in the car. However, as soon as I got into
my room, I ran into the bathroom and threw up. So much for being tough.
Anyway, after that whole issue, myself, Joe, and Zach went to a field
behind the building to a small field to throw the frisbee around, when
we were soon joined by Becca and Chelsea. We then went to a prayer
service around dinnertime, where afterwards myself and Joe ran into
Father Fred, a priest who had visited St. Greg's in the past and played
some frisbee with us. He invited us to play some frisbee later in the
evening but unfortunately that never materialized. After dinner
(spaghetti as the main course), we went on a tour of the campus,
because in addition to it being a monastery, it is also a college
campus. That was pretty awesome because the place is so nice. To wrap
up the long day, we all had pizza outside, then before we dozed off,
Mr. Lamb showed me a lounge in the dorm building that was secluded from
everything else and you couldn't be heard anywhere. So myself, Joe,
Zach, Mark, and Matt went back there for about 30 minutes for some
praise and worship, a good way to cap off an otherwise long and
eventful
day.
Friday:
Was woken up at 5:30 by a very loud noise coming from the water pipes.
When I first heard it I thought it was a military invasion because it
sounded like a lot of guns firing bullets. It turned out to be Mark
taking a shower. Anyway, I got up, got dressed, and went outside to
look for Zach who supposedly was having his own Bible and prayer time.
Turns out his alarm didn't go off and he didn't wake up until 7.
Anyway, we all wake up and go to morning prayers in the Basilica. It
was pretty nice, because we all sat at the front, except for those who
woke up late. We also celebrated Mass following the prayer service,
during which I did not receive the Holy Eucharist during Communion
because I did not feel worthy having not been to the Sacrament of
Reconciliation since what I had initially thought was the Experience
the Glory conference, but really was at one of the Youngfire Masses.
Following Mass and breakfast, myself and a few others agreed to meet
Father Fred in one of the gardens for Reconciliation. After we were
done in Latrobe, we headed for the one and only Steubenville, the place
that turned my life in the right direction two summers ago at Rise Up,
which is also the place where it led me away from the youth group for
three months. Anyways, we get there around 2, which gave us plenty of
time to just chill. We went to get lunch at a shopping center about a
mile or so from the campus, and got back around 3. I was initially
going to go to the Traveler's Mass, which started at 4, but because
nobody else wanted to go, I didn't go. We went to dinner around 5:45 or
so, which was a mini pizza, the same kind from years past. After
everyone finished eating and we passed the frisbee around, we headed
for the Finnegan Fieldhouse, where we unfortunately walked into the end
of one of our favorite songs, Big House.
We ended up sitting in one of the worst sections of the fieldhouse: on
the floor on the far right side, the same place we had sat for Saturday
Mass the past two years. When we got to our seats, the songs that Bob
Rice was playing were so easy for me to recognize, such as Let the Fire Fall and You are Holy (Prince of Peace). It was even cool when he played last year's theme song, Experience the Glory. The
host of the weekend, rap artist Bob Lesnefsky, a.k.a. Righteous B, was
then introduced. He started off by telling us about himself, and got
all 2200 of us youth in attendance pumped up by telling us to bring our
A-game, or "Eh-Game" for the Canadians that were there. It only got
better when he started to rap. After John Beaulieu gave a talk on the
Prodigal Son, Bob Rice got the praise and worship started with My Glorious. After the night was over, which included this year's theme song, Unchanging,
we went outside the fieldhouse for small group time. During the evening
session in the fieldhouse, Righteous B talked about how it doesn't
matter whether or not you look cool or uncool when you praise and
worship in your own way. I can relate because during some songs, our
entire group was standing, while at other times it was just myself and
Joe standing. Anyway, during the group session, Shannon had everyone
share what they thought of the night, and at the end of that part, I
mentioned to all of the first-timers (there were seven of them), that
they were free to praise God however they wanted, but that they
shouldn't do so just because everyone else is doing that. After small
group time was over, Mr. Lamb took 3 people to Reconcilation, while the
rest of us went back to the hotel for the night.
Saturday:
Initially woke up at 5, because the plan was to go to Stations of the
Cross. However, the previous night, Zach brought up a point that if we
went to Stations, we would be tired later in the day, so we didn't all
get up and out of bed until close to 8. Instead of going to breakfast
on campus, we instead had breakfast at the hotel. When we got on
campus, we went into the Fieldhouse for Mass, celebrated by Father John
Amsberry. His Homily was cool because he started to rap and got
everybody's blood moving. Mass was good for me because I was able to
receive the Eucharist during Communion. After Mass, we broke off into
the men and women sessions, where we went into the infamous but
nonetheless better Glory Tent, where Chris Padgett gave a talk on
purity, chastity, and God's unchanging plan. All of the guys got
chastity cards, along with a message from Chris Padgett saying to only
sign it if we mean it, meaning that we're going to stick to it, which
is my intention, as it's taped to my monitor right in front of me. That
being said, I took the ones from the past two years and ripped them to
shreds, and put the new, unsigned one in my wallet. After the men's
session, we met up with the girls and got in line for lunch, where I
discovered somewhat of an issue: a missing frisbee. I knew I had it
before we went into the Fieldhouse for Mass, so I was the one
responsible for it. So I retraced my steps and eventually remembered
leaving it on top of one of the water coolers outside the Fieldhouse. I
was able to go with Joe to the lost and found and luckily, we got it
back. There was also another scare, because as soon as we got back in
line, I made a bad toss that, if it had gone into the sewer like it had
a year ago, it would have made the pass worse, but it stopped inches
from the edge of the sewer, so I held onto the frisbee until we were
where we didn't have to worry about losing it. After lunch we headed
off to one of the 3 afternoon sessions. I chose the one in the
Fieldhouse, called "The Unchanging Truth" with Jeff, Mark, Matt, and
Chelsea. The speaker, Father Dave Pivonka, talked about what can and
cannot be the truth. Afterwards, the five of us met up with the other
youth at the bookstore, where I bought this year's theme shirt, which
goes along well with last year's, even though last year's is brown and
this year's is red. Following the bookstore, Joe, Zach, Amanda, Maggie,
Kendyl, Abby, Catherine, and I went to the entertainment in the
Fieldhouse, which I didn't really burn too much energy on. Instead I
used it more so as bonding time with the girls, because Joe and Zach
were mostly down in the front. I even got a picture of Righteous B that
I'm going to post later. After that we played some frisbee outside the
bookstore while waiting for the rest of the group to meet up with us at
the hotel. This was also where I found the perfect imitation voice of
Mr. Lamb, because when I said something to Maggie, it sounded just like
Mr. Lamb. Anyways, after that we ate dinner, then headed to the
Fieldhouse for the highlight of my weekend, Eucharistic Adoration.
Basically, to sum it all up, two years ago I was a first-timer and
confused during the whole night, and last year, I was expecting to be
touched the same way those people were two years ago. This year, it was
a completely different story. The priest walked in with the monstrance,
then blessed it so it actually became Jesus Christ. I ended up
prostrating myself after a few minutes, at first just to get
comfortable, as we were in the bleachers. When Jesus came by us, I
could hear that Joe was already crying up where he was, so I was hoping
that I would be touched in the same way, whether I ended up crying or
not. After Jesus passed by, nothing happened, and I was disappointed,
but then I asked Mr. Lamb to come pray over me, and as soon as he came
down to me, I just broke down. I started bawling where I was at. I kept
crying for a good five minutes at least, until I went up and grabbed
Joe. At times during certain songs, if I knew them really well, I
started crying harder. As for the ultimate highlight, if there is such
a thing with Jesus being present, was when I grabbed my sister. Once I
grabbed her, I just started sobbing in her arms. At that point, I felt
the most touched by the Holy Spirit, because I never thought I would be
crying so hard in my sister's arms. After Adoration, we had our small
group time outside the Fieldhouse, where we shared our thoughts on the
night and on how we were all touched by the power of the Holy Spirit.
After that, we headed back to the hotel after a long day on campus,
chowed down on pizza, then crashed for the night.
Sunday:
Got up at 7:30, packed everything, and loaded up the cars. I chose to
walk up the hill to the campus instead of ride in the van. We broke off
into the men's and women's sessions again, in the same locations. The
talk in the tent was given by John Beaulieu, talking about the
"Unchanging Community." He also talked about one of his personal
experiences with his youth group and one of his youth, Danny, and how
he died of leukemia, yet was a very touching story despite that he
died. John talked about how Danny went to Steubenville, then later
underwent treatment that required destroying his immune system.
Eventually Danny suffered from no immune system, and in the days before
his death, he was talking to John and I can remember John saying that
Danny told him, "John, what do I have to be scared about?" because he
was going to be with Jesus. After he was done with the talk, all of the
guys in our group formed a circle and did a small prayer for each
person in the group. After that was Mass in the Fieldhouse, celebrated
by the Bishop of Steubenville, Bishop Daniel Conlon. I was also to
receive the Holy Eucharist again, since as I said above I received the
Sacrament of Reconciliation on Friday at St. Vincent's. At the end of
Mass, Father Dave called up the young men and women who felt called to
a vocation in the priesthood, brotherhood, or sisterhood. Following
Mass, we went to lunch, headed back to the bookstore, where I got a
postcard of the Rosary garden. After that we headed to the van and
headed home. We stopped in Breezewood, where I switched back into the
big van. Our final stop on the trip was at Cracker Barrel in
Fredericksburg. I got home around 1 on Monday morning, chilled for
about an hour, then went to sleep.
Whew, I'm finally done on a blog that I started at 10 last night, given
I was doing other things that kept me from doing this nonstop, but hey,
I'm done now. I'll post the pictures later. Until then, peace.
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| STEUBENVILLE REVIEW:
ok guys...my bad on not saying too much about this beforehand, but just a couple of hours ago, i returned from Steubenville  . overall, i have to say that my personal experience this year was not as great as it was last year  , because last year was my first year, and i learned so much and was changed in so many ways  . this year, i made the mistake of expecting it to be much of the same . this year's theme, Experience the Glory, was better than last year's theme, Rise Up , but the message i got out of it was the same as last years, only in a different context . in any case, im gonna do what i did for last year, and recap what happened .
Friday: woke up at 5  . got to church by 5:45  , left church by 6:30  . around 8:30, we stop in fredericksburg VA for breakfast at mcdonald's . not as many stops on the way up were necessary this year because Fr. John Mary was not with us to stop at Starbucks every 5 miles  . stopped for lunch in breezewood PA, ate at taco bell (future note: do not allow tommy to eat at taco bell at any part of a 12-hour drive  ). drove through pittsburgh past PNC Park and Heinz Field . got to steubenville around 4:30 , and went to dinner around 5:30. just as our group finished eating, i caught up w/some friends from OCYO , such as sam and jake . went to the finnegan fieldhouse (FFH) for the opening evening session, run by "shrimp and rice" (bob schrimpf and bob rice ). the theme was introduced to us by a pair of "superheroes", one, "thumb boy" aka Napoleon Dynamite . the speaker of the session was John Beaulieu . we all took part in praise and worship for a good portion of the night  . after the evening session was over, chris' dad took chris and all of P4C to confession , and after confession, P4C discussed the session and went over the questions in the back of the book in a praise-and-worship style .
Saturday: woke up at 5 to do Stations of the Cross (it was actually bright enough that we didn't need flashlights this year ). went with the rest of P4C, as well as chris and aimee . came back, got the rest of the group, went to breakfast, went to the bookstore, and played frisbee . i bought a t-shirt with this year's theme on it, and i can't wait to wear that to a landstown-related function . went to mass , celebrated by Fr. John Gordon. caught up with rachel from OCYO after mass , then went to the men's session in the tent to discuss the glory of chastity and purity , led by chris padgett . went to lunch afterwards , even tho the line was excruciatingly long . broke off into 3 different groups to attend the mini-sessions. i attended the "Glory of Freedom" led by John Beaulieu . he discussed the things that distract us from the Lord, such as money, video games (in my case, halo 2 ...i'll definitely tell you i didn't miss that at all this weekend), and how we can break the chains to those distractions  . after the session, we caught up with the other two groups, and unfortunately, the minority won the decision to go back and chill in the hotel instead of staying for the APEX entertainment  , which sucked because we didn't do much of anything at the hotel , tho myself, Joe, and Aaron took part in a praise-and-worship session. went to dinner around 5, ate outside the fieldhouse . ran into dane from landstown on the way to the fieldhouse..he was there w/st john's . saturday night evening session (minus adoration..i'll get to that in a sec ) was sweet. the speaker, Kristen Harakal, discussed how we can experience God's glory . now for the highlight of the weekend (i speak for all 2200 youth in attendance)..EUCHARISTIC ADORATION . man, i cannot describe how much more awesome it was for me this year than it was last year . last year, when all of those people passed out, started crying, etc., i had no idea what was going on, so i was stupid enough to turn my attention away from jesus to lay a hand on them . this year, knowing why that happens, while i did look around occasionally when people passed out (i saw it out of the corner of my eye...it's usually reflex ), but in any case, i was able to focus completely on jesus, and in the end, i feel that the most important thing i gained out of the entire weekend was that my relationship with God was strengthed during adoration on saturday night . and i'll tell you the truth: i came close to crying...too bad i didn't . after the session, we ordered pizza, attempted to discuss the evening's session and what the noobs thought of adoration , but to no avail due to arguments between mainly aimee and tommy over what we were going to do when in the succeeding weekends following this weekend . they were going on and on about how we should spread what we learned to the newbies in the group, and it seemed to me like they were trying to cram 3 days of praise and worship into 2 hours of what i consider not to be praise and worship . in any case, i'll get back to this at the end. we ordered pizza , and the girls ordered chinese food , and we took it back to our rooms and relaxed till we went to bed...i'm sure that P4C was the last room to crash , because we took part in our most intense personal praise-and-worship session .
Sunday: woke up around 6:30 , loaded the van, went to breakfast , went to the men's session about the glory of manhood . after the session, we went to mass, celebrated by Fr. Dave Pivonka , and his homily was really awesome. if you guys want to see it, the university is uploading video clips of the sessions and homilies from the weekend onto the website , so if u wanna see them, i'll post the link up here . got lunch and hit the road afterwards . got in around 2:15, and when i got home at 2:30, i started changing around stuff on my myspace and this .
as for what i consider not to be praise and worship (aka our youth group meetings), all we do is just hang out and talk about secular topics. the ride home wasn't too pleasant for me, because i was looking forward to taking our emotional high straight from the fieldhouse to the van, and back home, but i wasn't able to get help on that thanks to everybody else minus chris, aimee, and the rest of P4C. the ride home was full of discussions about secular topics between tommy, jeff, margo, and chelsea, and having to sit in front of all of that really got on my nerves, so what did i do? i had my own little praise and worship session, and had zach not been sleeping, i'd have gotten him to join me. anyways, everything that we did this weekend, especially at adoration..praising and worshiping the holy Lord, touching the hand reaching out to us, crying, weeping, and laughing before the Lord, it seems to me that (at least our group), did it only because 2200 other youth were doing the same. that's not what i did. i didnt' care what went on around me, and i didn't care if our entire group passed out and i was the only one left standing...that time was about me strengthening my relationship with God. i hope we can all carry out our experience of God's glory. | | |
| Mood/Currently feeling - alone and unwanted
My life is a living hell. I've never had any friends. All I've ever wanted is to be alone. I don't deserve anybody's respect. I'm always the scapegoat. I'm always the one used to other people's advantages.
I don't see why anybody would want to waste their time talking with a complete loser like me...they don't see..that afraid little kid inside me getting picked on all the time.
Do you ever realize how important I am to you? That's right, I have little meaning to everybody I've become an acquaintance with. I look at you all on some days of the year in school, like Christmas and Valentine's Day, seeing you all exchange gifts with your boyfriends and girlfriends, yet I don't even get a Merry Christmas from anyone or a Happy Valentine's Day hug from a girl. It's because I don't mean anything to you.
My point in this is that I don't need a single one of you pathetic losers. That's right, I'm talking about everybody, even the ones I've become "closest" to. The only person I need by my side is God, because He has everything planned out for me, whether I be enjoying myself for hours on end or living in hell for eternity. | | |
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