this thanksgiving break has given me a lot of time to think, and now with all my thinking i think im gonna start a new club. actually i want two clubs. the first is the " i'm so ugly and not good enough that my ex won't take me back club" and the second one is the " im so dumb that i will publicly and shamelessly humiliate myself to try to get my ex back club" the ugly club will focus mainly on the fact that you are so messed up looking that there is no possible way that your ex will get back with you principle. for every meeting we will give each other insults to confirm our ugliness. for some meetings we will even get "good looking people" to come in and make us feel unnattractive and inadequate. for activities we will conjure up plans to get our exes back, ranging from voodoo spells to brainwashing death rays. and once you are done plotting your evil schemes, you can go to the humiliation club, and take fieldtrips to your exes house and humiliate urself in front of everyone. all for the low low cost of 100 dollars a month. and if u join now, u can join the humiliation club for a registration fee of only 1000 dollars. think of it, u save 200 dollars and u can join 2 clubs!!!! just fill out the form below and pay the registration fee, and u too can join the ranks of ugly and unfortunate people who will never have a chance at their ex again!!!
1.) Name
2.) Gender, Age, Race, ETC...
3.) Your humiliating story
4.) Why your ex won't take u back
5.) On a scale of 1-10 how would u rate ur ugliness? (note, anybody below an 8 is denied admittance.)
6.) Name 3 plans that you have tried to get your ex back
7.) In ten words or less, think of a couple words to describe ur ugliness
8.) What is your credit card number?
9.) What are the last four numbers on the signature strip on the back of your credit card?
10.) What is your mother's maiden name?
11.) 1000 word essay portion:
a.) Prompt 1: Describe ur ugliness in a creative way, utilizing prose, poetry or other form of creative writing to describe ur ugliness
b.) Prompt 2: Describe the numerous cosmetic surgeries that you will undergo to get your ex back, but how they will all ultimately resolve in failure.
12.) What makes u the best candidate to join this club?
13.) All the legal stuff: release form for ur soul and all ur worldly possesions, suicide liability, and all your money given to me
Registration fee:
$500 for ugly club, $100 a month
SPECIAL* free year of humiliation club for only a $1000 dollars registration!! YOU SAVE $200!!!!!
to join my clubs pls call: 1(900) JWO- NOW*
*all proceeds go towards the Jaime Dollaga fund, and will go towards my education, plastic surgery, and cool expensive stuff i want to buy.
*JWO is not responsible for loss of confidence, self respect and possible life loss from joining these clubs
JOIN NOW!!! RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!!!!
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