| it all gets better from this point onyeah
long talk
very enlightening
good things
we make our own paradise
nothing lasts forever
i'm happy :]
thank you
night
|
| |
| So life goes onso i'm back to xanga for now.
i find it liberating to write somewhere how i feel about some things in my life.
as of right now i'm at TCC, living at home, and trying to transfer to tech or uva.
i don't know what to do with my life really. It seems like i'm wasting my parents' money.
i've been good, not drinking, or smoking, or anything like that. yet i still have this feeling of guilt.
my parents are completely disappointed with me. i don't know what to do. they no longer trust me.
just today they blamed me for a can of Sparks they found in our trash bin outside of the house.
i told them it wasn't mine, since all the alcohol i bring in the house i show to them first.
they still didn't believe me and called me a liar basically. so i don't know what to do.
it get bored at home and there's nothing to do but watch movies online or chat with people.
even when my father's home, i seem to isolate myself from him, actually everyone. it is getting to the point where i become anti social unless i'm at school.
it's like once i step foot into my house i can't leave at all unless i'm going to school in the morning.
i've become a prisoner of my own thoughts lately. i feel as if i have nothing to do but be depressed and do nothing.
sometimes i just wished i was away somewhere, somewhere far away....like space. but that's just day dreaming.
i'm being weird...it sucks.
i'm usually energetic and outgoing.
but now i'm all down and blue all the time.
my life is turning into a big tank of suppressed feelings waiting to burst.
i dont like my life as of right now to be honest.
i wish everything went back to normal....i wish i could go back in time.
"all we are is dust in the wind" - Dust in the wind by Kansas
|
| |
| QuestionsAlright, there is this girl....and this girl is attracted to me, and i'm attracted to her. We've kissed several times and all that cute stuff, but the thing is... does this girl want a relationship? I honestly dont think i have the time for one, but then again, i dont want this girl to feel that she's being used, which she's not, cuz we like each other, but we dont know, more like <b>I</b> dont know if maybe we should take that extra step and start going out or maybe just by asking her out or something.
I know it may sound that i'm contradicting myself by saying that i dont have time for a relationship right now and still wanna ask this girl out, but it's just something i've been arguing with myself for the past couple of weeks. This may also sound as a "friends with benefits" type of situation, but i have the feeling that one of us is getting attached, so i really dont know what to do. I honestly dont wanna end this at all, but i'm afraid one of us is gonna get hurt.
So there....i know it's kinda hard to understand but just try to bear with me. and dont forget to leave some comments.
peace out!
|
| |
| WOWThis is old school!
i love it!
:] |
| |
| wow i havent written in this thing in ages. haha .
oh well . leave me comments .
peace. |
| |
