For shirt.woot.com

Love is like oxygen. If you put it in a balloon it will sink, and
then explode when it touches a hedgehog. A relationship is about
forcing the balloon to rise ever higher, even when all seems lost. Of
course, if only one person is holding the balloon, their arms will get
tired. If several people are holding the balloon, there may be
jealousy, or in some cases the ATF will raid their compound.

There’s
no right way to keep that balloon going. It takes compromise, promises,
arguments and sometimes flat out lying. But the moment you let your
guard down, the hedgehog is there, waiting, waiting with bitter eyes,
wating with its tiny paws touching the rubber membrane of another
couple’s failed dreams, waiting to pop the balloon and bring the
struggle to a sudden, tragic end.

But, in secret, the hedgehog wishes for a balloon of its own.

 Jeanne and I have been reminiscing about yesteryears by watching Lois and Clark: The Adventures of Superman. I think watching that show has set me up for years of disappointment. Clark is unfailingly sweet, understanding and buff while Lois gets away with being completely neurotic, annoying and helmet-headed (I swear, sometimes her hair defies the laws of physics). Even so, while I was willing to be patient as a child, part of me still pretty firmly believed that I would grow up to be a Lois Lane. Unfortunately, real-life men have not been as unfailingly sweet, understanding, or buff. I have, on the other hand, been quite successful at being neurotic and annoying, though my hair still moves. In other Lois aspects, I have failed quite miserably. I am neither famous nor successful at my career. And, you know that scene in the opening credits when she slides down the slide and then looks up and it's total cleavage-mania? I thought I'd have that too. What was I thinking.

How depressing. Here's shirtless Dean Cain to make up for it:

oenone38: what would i do in this situation?
oenone38: i would ... ask him
oenone38: probably tell him what i did
oenone38: he would never trust me again
oenone38: our relationship would be doomed
oenone38: the real question is, do ya feel like being single?
trangel666: hahaahahahah
trangel666: omg, i am literally cracking up
oenone38: yes
oenone38: laugh at my life, ann
oenone38: that makes me feel better
trangel666: omg, but you KNOW i have that need to be pathetically honest about these things
trangel666: but i can't
trangel666: i don't even know how i would bring it up
oenone38: yeahhh
oenone38: there is no good way
trangel666: it's too awkward
trangel666: i'm too crazy
trangel666: i'm..you. the person i told myself i would never date.
trangel666: now i've gone one step worse...i've become you. my God.

 In the words of Miranda on Sex and the City, "if your own friends won't go down on you, who will?"

One morning, I accidentally got up absurdly early and was eating breakfast at the dining table while playing on my laptop when I heard Jeanne's alarm go off in her room. Within a few minutes, I got three e-mail notifications that Jeanne had commented on/tagged pictures of me, so I had to IM her to see if what I suspected was true:
oenone38: dude
oenone38: are you on facebook?
oenone38: like RIGHT NOW?
oenone38: as in ... DID YOU ROLL OVER AND GO ON FACEBOOK?
ckerona:
ckerona: you dont have to make it sound so negative