yay, i'm very sick again! and all i can manage to eat/drink is chips a la ice. or ice chips. but 'chips a la ice' sounds better.  especially in italics.




other great news that actually is great: i don't have to go to work this time. last time i was sick, i had to.

(if you know what movie that line is from, the title will seem much more funnier.) (and it's not an oft-quoted line from the overly-oft-quoted movie it is in, if that helps.)

there are lots of things i want...

i want those sunglasses in the profile picture. hopefully i can make it to that store again, and hopefully they will still have the ever-so-slightly indiscreet designer knock-offs still around.

i want to not be so dissatisfied with my life. i want to be more confident, to not feel like i could never really get anywhere, even when i know better.

i want to have something 'big' to do with my life, even if it really isn't all that 'big.' just something significant.

hmm... want.  it's funny how wanting something, even if you never get it or take any steps to get it, can really distract you from what you do have. even when it's something you know you shouldn't or just won't ever have. lack seems to be a lot more obvious than what's already yours, even when what's already yours is better. it is hard to count your blessings. and, what's worse, it's hard to fully appreciate them at the time - our hearts always looking for 'something more.'

but i still am gonna get those sunglasses if at all possible. =p


p.s. this was not supposed to be a profound post at all!! somehow it turned into one. oh dear.

p.p.s. and thank you everyone who has greeted me after coming back from xanga limbo. :)

Right now, I'm trying to type a long overdue email, but I'm having trouble coming up with something to say. I'm really, really tired and I think I'm getting sick again, so my brain isn't working so well. Not much is coming to me for a "here's how my life is going right now" message that isn't about how I'm really not so happy, even though I don't really have any good reason to be discontent. I'm not failing any of my classes. I'm improving a lot on my piano pieces. I have fun with my suitemates. I'm even mostly understanding music theory right now. So why is it so hard to me to just state the facts and pretend that everything is as good as it should be? I don't know.

And, if I could come up with all of that, why can't I come up with something to say in one simple email?


I'm really very confused... and confusing...