So, it's been awhile since I last updated this xanga. I've been busy with myspace lately that I've completely ignored my xanga. I guess the reason why I'm updating is that I needed to do some writing/typing. I've missed venting on this thing. Anyway, my life...it's going somewhere I think. I've actually changed my major a few times these past couple of months. Nursing was the major I've been focusing on a lot. But I've come to realize that it's just not me. I mean this major is very doable. I can certainly do it but I just feel like it's not really what I want. Now, I'm doing Health Care Administration. It's still in the medical field just less people interaction I guess. I applied to CSU San Bernardino for Fall 2006, I'm still trying to hear from them. It's been over a month I believe. We'll see I get accepted. Although, I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't because I think I messed up on the application. hahah. Dumb me. But whatever. I actually want to get into CSU Long Beach but have to wait till Spring 2007. I think that their major  is much better than what San Bernardino has to offer. I still need to save money for an apartment and apply before getting excited about it. I don't want to get my hopes up. If Beth, decides to go there, then I hope she and I can room together. I don't really want to go through ads and find roommates. It's not really my thing. I want to live with someone I actually know. hahha. Anyway, so that's my plan I guess. It's kind of sad really. I should be graduating in 2007(4 year plan) but instead, I don't get to transfer till 2007. But hey, what can I do. I'm an indecisive person. I just needed a few extra time to figure out what I really wanted. But when I think about it, being on the 6 year plan isn't that bad. My cousin was on it. hahha. I guess what really matters is finding what you really want to do even if it takes longer than, stick to it, and graduate. Well, at least I know what I want now, there's still people out there who are confused and don't know what they're doing with their lives.

As for my social life, it's alright. Josh actually moved up to Upland/Montclair last week so I'm pretty much lonely nowadays. I'm very sad that he left but also relieved that he's less than 2 hours away. It's better than being in the navy so I'm relieved. But still, I'm very sad. Everytime I talk to him on the phone I try to get off the phone as soon as possible because I end up thinking about him more and more and end up crying. I'm emotional nowadays, it sucks. I hate it. blah. enough of this, I'm about to cry. hahahha. Well, I guess that's it for now. More updates to come.

i start work tomorow from 1-5ish. kinda scared cause i dunno how it's gonna go. i get scared when i think about it but i talked to my love and he said that i'll do fine. =) it put me at ease. i love him A LOT. anyway, i'll only work thursday and friday(?) this week so it won't be that bad.

today i got really sad cause leaving josh's house earlier today, he was sad cause he said that he and i won't see eachother as much since i work and go to school and the same with him. and that made me sad cause i remember when he was ooooober busy with school and work and we barely hung out cause of it and now i'm the ooooober busy one. i hate it. i hate it so much that i started to cry. hahahha. can you say looooer!?!?!? can't help it i'm emo. hahahha. but i gotta look at it in a positive way. i'll have money to spend, go out to places i haven't gone to in ages, buy my love shirts like i used to hahha, SHOPPPPING, etc. oh and help my parents with my expenses. hahhaha. that's a major one. oi vey. responsibilities. me no like.

well tonite will be the last girl's nite of the summer cause everyone will be going back to school and working. i'll miss them. hahahah. well it's not like i won't ever see them. maybe we'll get together once or twice a month. who knows. but there's always aim and myspace, right? hahahah looosers.

last week before school starts. kinda excited but not really. went to a workshop yesterday for ess. boring. but helpful. i have a staff meeting at 2 today. dunno what it is but i guess i'll just have to see. i start on thursday i believe. i got assigned to supervise the kindergarteners. i'm excited. cause they're cute. i hope i won't have trouble with them. but this job will be fun. i got to experience a lot of things. working with kids, making new friends, leadership, work on my communication skills, etc. all beneficial.

i'm going to be soooooo busy this year. school work school. that's my life. so from monday through thurs i'll be going to school in the morning, work at 2-5, then back to school again. sheesh. never done this before and i'm so scared but it must be done. i need to grow up. i'm 21 turning 22 on march. what the heck!?! that is sooo old. anyway, the old sheena no longer exists. =( ahhahah. well i hope everyone had a great summer. good luck to everyone this semester.

it's amazing to realize who your true friends are. i have been completely fooled. the memories are now slowly dissipating the more and more i see their true colors. wow. i am in awe. not much can be done now. it's all over. besides the fact that that person(s) out of my life, i can now be happy with those whom i know are true to me. no need to name names. i'm sure those bitches know who they are <3

anyway, i've been busy lately. august is a very busy month for me. the germans are still here. there's drama going on right now cause apparently my cousin's friends didn't bring enough money. stupid! i mean...you're going to america for A MONTH and you didn't even think about bringing enough money. wtf? what the hells the point of you coming here? my cousin is also an idiot cause she brough them along with her. i mean her friends barely spent money this past 2 weeks they've been here. my family, cousins, and myself treat them to dinner and take them places they want to go to. and we don't make them pay. i mean c'mon. if you were staying with other people, i'm sure they won't get a free ride. they'd make them pay for their stay, food, gas, etc. they will never experience this with anyone! these germans are also using the phone EVERYDAY to call germany and they don't even bother to ask my aunt if they can use the phone. hello!?! it costs a lot of money to call germany. common courtesy people! shit! seriously now...it's getting out of hand. this weekend their going to san francisco, las vegas, and arizona and they're getting a free ride once again cause they apparently talked to my uncle and told him that they only have $100 left. that is so not enough money for that whole trip. plus they're still going to disneyland at the end of the month. stupid i swear. my cousin's so dumb. shoulda left they're asses back to germany! oh and another thing. they're sooo picky. you're on vacation to a foreign country and you can't even bother to try different food. they don't eat SEAFOOD! wtf? that's bs right there. they complain cause our family cooks a lot and we eat a lot especially during the weekend. i mean don't fucking complain. at least we're not letting you bitches starve or pay. fuck! idiots! anyway, you ask why we don't let them pay? well cause what can we do? we're nice people. my cousin is family and we plan on going to europe next summer and of course we want to be treated nicely from my cousin's family. all we want in return i guess. everything is already planned out and there's no turning back. nice people get fucked over. whatever. they leave september 5th. after that we're rid of the burden. goodness. oi vey. foreign people. anyway enough about the damn germans.

this job thing at ess is slowly progressing. i was asked if i would be interested in subbing. of course i am. it's money. so i did an orientation and now i have to do processing which is fingerprinting, physical, and tb test. i did my physical and tb test today as well as my second interview with a whole panelist like 6 people in ther interview. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. the people were nice. kinda stuttered and zoned out a couple times trying to think of answers. hahhaha. oh well. hopefully i get the permanent job. but subbing would be okay too. i need the money.

school starts in 2-3 weeks. it'll be weird. i have 5 classes which i've never done before. i usually just have 3-4 cause i suck. hahha. but i need to step it up. i need to get in a nursing program as soon as possibe. i'm planning on getting my masters. might as well do it soon than putting it on hold. so my plan is...when i get my bachelors, work part time and get my masters at the same time. damn. anyway, csusm nursing program is impacted as predicted. dunnow how that's going to happen. i'm still thinking about csu san bernardino. i'm very interested in going there cause they also have a masters program and i'd be away from distractions here in san diego so it'll give me motivation to work hard. there's nothing there so it's not like i'd have anything better to do than school and study. damn. living the bad life for sure. but i dunno. we'll see. i definitely don't want to leave cause of my family, friends, and of course josh <3 damn i love him so much. no one knows how much i love that boy. i don't think he even knows how much i love him. it's beyond any love i've ever known, i'll ever experience, it's indescribable. anywho, enough of this lovey dovey stuff. oh i finally finished harry potter and the order of the phoenix. now i need to get the latest book. i need to read it. I LOVE HARRY POTTER! haahah. yes yes i'm a nerd but i love it. goodness. i read two books this summer so far, harry potter and the goblet of fire and harry potter and the order of the phoenix. those two were sooo long over 700 pages each. never been done before. i guess for the time being i'll read Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. i heard it was better than the Da Vinci Code. we'll see. i'll probably start it tonite just cause i'm used to reading everynite. anyway, this long enough for you people? ahaha. enjoy.