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| Aaahhh!
I don't like this feeling I've got right now. This insecure feeling that something is seriously wrong. The feeling that someone somewhere is hurting me, and I sit here obvlious to it. I really don't understand it. Everything should be fine...but something in the bowls of my very being is screaming to put up the walls once again...to withdraw trust once again. But, I can't hide from the inevitable. It's amazing how little things like I glance, a call, a touch, could mean so much. Secrets suck...especially when you can tell that someone is trying to hide something,n u want to ask them wut it is, but yet they don't tell u.
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| Marie: Hehe,thanx =)...I miss you!!!!
Babe: Awwwww,mahal na mahal kita!!
Anne: Hhheeeyyyy!! You should've slept over!! Tsk tsk tsk, =P
Ate Sheilah: Yeeeesss!! Sounds awesome...but I can't use the phone =(...**sigh**
And so life goes on
Thanks to Tito Rey, my computer is workin.  And...my web cam is workin,meanin imma be taking aaalllottt of pictures, cuz I'm that bored, tsk tsk tsk.
If there's anything I've learned this week, it's that...
1. Jealousy is a very ugly thing. It can definitely bring out the worst in people and definitely causes many problems. It blinds you to the truth. What a scary word...the truth. Something so simple yet complicated...something to be handled with care. The truth is supposed to set you free, but don't you feel just a bit imprisoned again when you see that it hurts someone else? **sigh** What a wonderful world.
2. Life really does go on. No more saying that one event is the end of the world...cuz it really isn't...it may put your life on hold...actually...it doesn't put your life on hold...it just puts you on hold...cuz while you're still in awe of what had happened, everything else around you goes on with time...it changes...it grows..
3. Life is a huge GAMBLE. If you bet high, and you win...your reward is also high...however if you lose, you lose greatly. Then again, if you always take the safe way and only risk a little, then you're sure to only get back a little in return...So is it alright to take a leap?
4. Love...what is it?!?! How can you define it? Very confusing...one thing for sure is that it's not all smiles and sunshine. It has its tears and moments of pain...but that's all part of it. If "love" between two people is so awesome all the time, then what would happen the moment hardships hit?? Would they just give up?? Honestly, the best way to survive together is to have a fight once in a while...cuz once you've faced the person you "love" and can stand against them, then it's much easier to stand with them against others. You don't lose by loving, you lose by holding back. Going back to someone that hurts you...the thing that most people say is either:
A. You deserve better.
B. Be careful
C. Why would you go back to that?
But those who go back to those that have hurt them are probably some of the strongest people I know. Heartache really does hurt...unless you've been through it, you wouldn't understand it. Those people who can still give their hearts to those who have done them wrong...props to them.They've got the guts to take a leap and put themselves out there again. | | |
| Ate Sheilah: I mmiisss yyyooouu!!
Karla: My friend made the banner *sniffle* sadly I've got no banner making skills =P
Since last time I edited...
(+)Went to Ate Ramiele's Debut in Orlando
(-)Kicked outta the house for a bit
(-)Phone rights taken away
(-)Going out rights taken away
(++)Dad and my babe had a realli awesome talk
(+)Spent time w/ my lil cuz,Mia
(+)Chillen at Michael n Anne's house later
(-)Arguing w/ parents
(-)Not doin too hot in math
(++)Spent a bit of time w/ my kuyas
New Realizations
*I really don't know who I can trust anymore
*No matter how well you know someone..you never know them well enough
*Nothing lasts forever
*In this world, you can only depend on yourself
*Expectations really suck...it's not healthy to hold them, because they seem to lead to disappointment.
*The best thing to wear really is a smile, especially when your heart is breaking...I'm not saying to be fake, I'm just saying to try and make yourself as happy as possible even with a hurting heart no matter how hard it is.
| Your Personality Profile |
 You are sexy, powerful, and bold.
You're full of passion and energy...
Sometimes this passion has a dark side.
You feel most alive when you're seducing someone.
You never fail to get someone's attention.
Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper! |
Song for the Day
Rainbows
Fallin out, fallin in, nothing sure in this world, no no
Breakin out, breakin in, never knowin what lies ahead
We can really never tell at all
Say good bye, say hello, to a lover or friend sometimes we never could understand why some things just begin at end
We can really never tell at all
But oh, can't you see?
That no matter what happens, life goes on and on so baby
Just smile
Cuz I'm always around you
And I'll make you see how beautiful life is for you and me
Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent to sing for me and you
Can you hear me?
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is Pain now
Everything will be alright
For as long as the world still spins there will be night and day
Can you hear me?
There's a rainbow always after the rain
Hittin high,hittin low, win or lose you should grow
Getting warm, gettin cold, weather could be so good or bad
But baby this is life so don't get mad
But oh, can't you see?
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, please smile
Cuz I'm always around you
And I'll make you see how beautiful life is for you and me
Take a little time babySee the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent to sing for me and you
Can you hear me?
There's a rainbow always after the rain
Even if there is pain now
Everything will be alright
For as long as the world still spins there will be night and day
Can you hear me?
There's a rainbow always after the rain
Life's full of challenges not all the time we get what we want
But don't despair my dear
You'll take each trial and you'll make it through the storm cuz you're strong
My faith in you is clear
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| Crap...so I'm starting this again...cuz my STUPID group member, Eric, deleted everything I had previously typed....which wuz like a whole 2 pages...and BAM! It's gone!! ARSEHOLE....hehehehehehe,j/p j/p!!! It wuz onlii like 2 sentences....buh anyways...
This class, JROTC, and English definitely help my day...buh st upid classes like Algebra 2,make it shiottty....aahhh...never go into algebra 2 w/ mrs. woerner....
BUT ANYWAYS...
Life is still crazy as frriicckk..so much pressure comin from everywhere..once again...I hate Algebra 2...and then I've gotta take Pre-Cal next semester?!?! AH,I'm gonna die in numbers....BUT huge ass thanx 2,Kuya Duke!!!
Happy belated birthday muh love....I even made you a card, AND you got a lollipop,hehehe!! Hopefully you actually read the card,lloosseerrr...and thanks so unbelievably much for helpin me w/ Algebra 2 ((despite my grade in that class right now)) and uhm...yeh,thats it! =P
NOTHING TO DO!!
16 minutes left until lunch... meaning 16 minutes until I've got a break...960 seconds and counting down until...FFFFOOODDDD!! omg,I sound like such a pig...buh who doesn't love food?! It's not like I'm THAT much of a fat ass anyways...I think??? Oh well..
K, I'm gonna end this here, cuz I've gots nothin else to say, actually...nevermind...cuz my oh so wonderful group member, eric is making me type without looking...okey..now wilson wants me to type without looking. tsk tsk tsk...so yeh..
I LOVE YOU GUYS!! | | |
| Life is nuts
I actually tried as hard as I could. I studied. I did everything I could...yet still failed. Failed because of all these stupid mistakes that could've been fixed if I had the time...time that was used trying to figure out the stupid problems in the first place...*sigh*
Been hearin so much trash talking about people who I absolutely love.. and it's sickening. I defend them as much as I can, but I can't change the feelings of others. Where do you cross the line betwee being a friend and letting someone know when they're being talked about and meddling in other people's affairs??
I don't know.
Been feeling very...iono...alone (?) in this world. It sucks cuz I sound so unappreciative of everything around me cuz there's a lot of people who are right there, if I'd just call on them...BUT, iono what it is that doesn't allow myself to ask for help. It's like I need to be forced into it. I feel myself suffocating in this stupid closed off world my parents have placed me in, sinking deeper into an abyss of nothing.
Yesterday morning while I was waiting for Ate Jas to pick me up for school, Pogi asked my dad "What are we waiting for?" n my dad jokingly replied "We're waiting on a miracle"
Well that's what I'm waiting for...a miracle...scratch that...my miracle.
On a Happier Note
I'm chillen at Michael's house rite now. This is probably one of the few houses where I don't care if I come in my house clothes lookin like a (in David's words,lol) "hot mess." I've come here in a tanktop, soffes, glasses, and flip flops, lookin like a loser, buh I don't care,lol. This is my home away from home. Michael got a bunk bed!! lol, bunk beds = awesomeness.
Maraming Mahal
I don't think I said that right...=P...but thanks you guys for being there::
My babe
Kuya Duke
Ate Sheilah
Ate Jas
And so I realize that I've gotten weak somewhere along the way. The only thing is, noone outside myself told me until today. I used to be able to handle trash so well...but I guess once school pressure was put on, it made me vulnerable to everything else cuz I wuz no longer on the look out...I wuz distracted. But even though that pressure is still there, I've gotta go back to some of the old attitude, which is to challenge everything I see not right...and though it may come off as being stubborn, or headstrong, it's better than sitting back and letting my world crumble in my own hands. Gotta go back to bein jus a lil more "in your face," but not to the point where it's just bein a biotch. And so world, I'm ready for what you've got to throw at me...actually...gimme a second to breathe,then I'll be ready...I hope. | | |
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