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| Flavour of The Month
Comes in the form of a person. Here's the story.
She's a family friend, and unfortunately it was me who took the liberty of trying to introduce her to my mother. I've seen her work, and I thought - okay, satisfactory. Not overpriced, relatively at par with the result of her work. Okay la kan.
My brother's wedding is coming up in 2 weeks' time. Mother, my sister syaza, and me had made a simple baju kurung for the akad nikah session. My fault was, to insist my mother to add beads on the baju kurung. Why not, I said. She's a family friend, and it's not like we want to do something extravagant with the baju kurung. My mother is one loyal customer. She is currently happy with her own tailor, but no thanks to my persistence, she was persuaded to try.
That very night, I folded all the baju kurungs with post-its pasted on each, instructing the beads color we preferred for each baju, and put them all in one bag. In the bag too, I included one of my own baju kurung already tailored with beads for an idea of what design was expected from her. I wrote a note, which told her not to sew the beads too thick, just enough with the two-layer as per the hem of the sleeves of the sample baju kurung I gave. However, it is up to her own discretion to design and alter, whatever she deems fit.
The next day, although the baju kurung had been passed to her hands, although I had given her my phone number in the note, no call or a simple sms was received. I was beginning to wonder so I called this tailor up myself. Once the line reached her, this is what she said:
"Adik akak tak rasa la boleh buat macam design baju contoh yang adik bagi ni sebab beads yang dia gune jenis murah la dik akak tak rasa ade jual kat kedai pun. Beads akak ni dari Jepun, mahal la sikit tapi shining la. Tak macam beads kat baju adik ni takde shining. So akak buat design sendiri jela ye dik ye."
Apparently, she took my gesture of telling her what I want, instructing the beading work to be simple - as a pun. I wanted to laugh listening to her talk. She didn't even let me talk. She didn't even ask who did my beaded baju kurung, the sample I gave to her. And there was nothing humble in the conversation. If I were to conclude what she said, it would suffice to say that many ministers and artists and magazines had been robbed by the tailor who did my beaded baju kurung.
Before she could even start on the beading work, this person has lost three customers. Perhaps we were a bit particular. But surely she can't be serious in expecting nice, naive customers who would shower her with compliments for the rest of her part-time beading career?
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| The Event Today?
I am.....
.....engaged.
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| Out Of Writer's Block
I've been kept errr busy with this and that. In one month I've
been blessed with the chance to enjoy two trips abroad, drinking in every minute
every second gratefully .
Encik Biskut is currently down with flu. He's had too
much, I think, in these two months. Why, I dragged him to all the
darndest places (And I never apologised)!
Here are some random pictures.
My Nephew's Birthday Party
Detailed report and more pics on the party - click here
Opah di celahan tanduk rusa.
High table (konon)
Front view.
Bontot view.
Singa jadian yang disyaki queer in nature.
Geng boroi tunjuk talent.
Most artistic potrait.
Receipt Of A New Member To The Family.
   At first he looked.  Then fell asleep soon after, indifferent to the new member.
Randomness
 Malaysia yang cenonet. P/S: Welcome home, Shara! | | |
| Extortion
Recently I found myself lost of words. I felt sad that I was misjudged, and felt tired by this never-ending frustration of being not fairly judged. Worse, the time I had was brief. We can't spread life events of the past 10 years in 5 minutes, can we?
I may be the smallest duckling in the pond, but when I was as young as 4 years old, I had hoped that I would not forever be young, nor being judged by my size compared to the rest. Simply because I have yet to have a greater responsibility than anyone else in this whole world, I should not be seen as incompatible of thinking further, or as far as other people. Of course I'm not the brightest. (But I am not the smallest duckling in the pond anymore!)
I embrace myself being human. I have reasons why certain people are my friends whilst other certain people I avoid from. Killers and ustazs live among us. I accept that fact just as I accept differences in all of us. That's why I was lost of words. That's why I felt tired. People take me a less person simply because I say out what I think. People take me a less person simply because I choose not to say what I think. People have a knack of thinking less of me because I beg to differ more frequently than agreeing with them.
However I remain true to myself. And I have remained to be myself since I was as young as 4 years old. I do not intend to change myself. Perhaps now I have bigger opinions. But my mouth has been this big since I was born. Perhaps too big for all the good people in the world. That's what makes me less than them. Although my past deeds and misdeeds beg to differ. Although their deeds and misdeeds beg to differ. Have they forgotten that similarly, I am born with functioning eyes too?
When I am lost of words, I'd like to have strong friendship more than anything in the world. Because with friends, I can talk and tell and be honest about everything in the world, and I will always feel welcomed and belong in their circle.
Anyway. Here's a new muse to the family. Mother rescued him while he was running for his life from this huge wild dog at the playground in front of our house. Turn out mother got us a mixed breed - quite big in size compared to other kittens his age, long hair but not quite persian.. It's fur colour ade sedikit lain macam gak. See white lining crossing its black patch on his back. Like turtle shell. Gray paws. Gray eyes.
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| Lu Patut Kutuk Ah Beng Gak
Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera.
Bersempena dengan kejadian tiga ekor rempit yang hampir berjaya memanjat masuk rumah jiran gua baru-baru ini, gua rasa agak terpanggil untuk menulis dalam pertuturan rempit. Lu semua duduk rilek jela depan skrin okay lu jangan buat apa-apa. Nak makan sambil baca pun bole.
So camni ar. Baru-baru ni gua pasan adela bape helai baju gua dengan suar jeans pun kene basuh. Gua memang malas ar nak tunggu lama-lama. Laundry pun dekat. Bile gua sebut laundry ni lu jangan terkejat hingat laundry kat Damansara tu. Sana banyak ah beng la. Tak geng. Lu tau la derang main kuar pistol je beng beng derang tembak. Paling lembut pun derang cat rumah lu warna merah. Boleh tahan samseng derang tu. Gua memang pelik part ni. Semua orang termasuk cine-cine malaysia sibuk bingit isu rempit. Tapi Ah Beng sama samseng derang tak kire.
Tak... kitorang tak join ah beng, jadi takde ah lepak Laundry situ. Englis gua pun tak terer mana geng. Cemana nak order air. So selalu gua join balak gua la lumba-lumba suka-suka kat area Kota Damansara tu. Lu tau jalan tu kan? Cam dari The Curve tu lu jalan stretttt je sampai area petronas kat kiri. Gile beng tempat tu. Kene skill ar kire kalo nak lumba situ. Balak gua no hal la kan. Dia kire gempak ar dalam group kitorang.
Jadi gua maksudkan laundry cuci baju la. Duit gua tengah ade ni bolehla basuh. Haritu balak gua menang satu race kat highway kesas, dia bagi gua duit. Bolehla gua nak basuh baju kat laundry. Timer kasih sangat-sangat la kat Mat Pian sebab tolong balak gua 'up' sikit motor dia.
So cam, gua kat laundry kan. Gua duduk je menung tengok baju gua tengah kering. Series geng lu tenung lama-lama baju lu guling-guling dalam mesin pengering tu lu boleh high la gua cakap. Lu tak caye lu cube la. So cam gua tengah tenung mesin tu, sekali ade satu Waja kelabu ni park dekat gak ar dengan tempat gua duduk. Gua tak amik pusing la. Tengok mesin lagi stim. Tibe-tibe awek yang baru kuar dari Waja tu sound balak dia depan-depan gua. Dia cakap, "Pantang nampak eh??"
Gua dah rase kacau la tengok bontot dia halang mesin gua kan. Gua ingat dia sound gua. Gua angkat muka. Minah tu masih diri depan gua, tapi tengah jegil kat balak dia. Pastu dia jegil kat gua. Lu pehal minah? Dia jegil kat gua sampai balak dia lintas depan gua masuk dalam laundry. Then minah tu buat muka bengang kat gua dia ikut laki dia masuk dalam.
Satu lar gua pantang pasal kapel-kapel ni. Dulu masa gua mule-mule dating dengan balak gua kat Dataran Merdeka gua dah sound dia. Gua cakap kat dia, kalau gua nampak lu terhegeh-hegeh kat awek lain, gua takkan tampar awek tu, gua tampar lu. Sebab lu layan dia nye gedik. Lu nak kat awek lain lu jangan simpan gua. Balak gua macam hangin gak ar dengar gua cakap camtu. Tapi gua tau pompuan. Gua pun dah penat kene tibai sebagai perampas berapa tahun lamenye. Gua tanak kasik chan dah. Gua takkan nangis-nangis la macam filem Merah lakonan Awie tu. Lu buat gua sekali, gua pun nak menggatal tiga kali ganda. Tapi sebeleum gua menggatal dengan rempit lain gua tampar lu dulu.
So gua baran ar minah tu layan gua camtu. Gua tengok balak dia muka macam tapak selipar gua je. Dahla haritu gua terpijak taik anjing gune selipar ni. Palat punye anjing. Tapi series gua cakap muka mamat tu ada iras-iras tapak selipar gua. Gua tak gemar la geng jantan-jantan bawak Waja turbo ni. Dahla bersayap-sayap macam keter ah beng. Gua dah cakap kan rempit mane geng dengan ah beng. Muka balak dia legam semacam lak tu gua nampak putih mate die je. Pakai t-shirt polo kolar dibiar terangkat. Kasut sneakers putih tapak tebal. Rambut cacak-cacak. Dalam laundry gelap-gelitap pun dia pakai spek itam atas kepala.
Gua nak cakap sikitla. Dalam dunia ni awek-awek semua ade dua pilihan. Pertama balak hensem. Kedua balak kurang hensem. Settle. Tapi mana-mana antara dua kategori yang lu dapat ni, hasil tetap sama.
Balak hensem ala-ala Takeshi Kaneshiro: Awek-awek akan kejar dia. Dia thrill dikejar aweks. Dia akan layan aweks tu sumer. Lu sedih sorang-sorang kat tepi.
Balak kurang hensem ala-ala Awie: Pantang walau sorang aweks cun layan dia, tak dapat cun gile - cun lebih sikit dari lu pun jadila. Dia start terkejat, lu duduk sebelah pun dia lupa lu ada. Lu sedih sorang-sorang kat tepi.
Susah jadik awek.
Minah bodoh tu amik kerusi sebelah gua pandang terjegil-jegil. Gua tonyoh dengan tayar motor balak gua baru lu tau gua sape. Ingat gua keding gua tak mampu ke? Bang**t (terpaksa diedit untuk kesesuaian pembaca bukan rempit) betol ah!!
Gua pikir, ah malas ah. Dah sah lu desperate. Gua buat dekkk je. Sekali kain gua siap. Gua letak kain baju semua dalam beg gua. Tapi bakul tu laundry punye gua kene pulangkan. Nak dapat bakul tu patut kene bayar geng. Tapi tadik gua dapat free je sebab ada aunty cine pass kat gua senyap-senyap. Dia kata dia pun cilok dari orang lain gak. Gua pikir gua kene turunkan benefit ni kepada yang layak. Tapi ade kapel bahalul ni plak. Nak bagi ke tanak. Nak bagi ke tanak. Last-last gua pikir takpe ah mungkin awek tu baik walau pangai cam bohsia (gua bukan bohsia wey. Lu jangan ingat sungguhpun gua ride ngan balak gua stail kerengge gua dikire bohsia. Banyak lagi syarat wajib sebelum layak jadik bohsia ni geng!) tapi hati mungkin tulus ikhlas macam gua.
So gua datang rapat. Time tu balak tu tengah borak dengan awek dia tapi nampak gua datang terus tapak selipar tu tunduk. Gua tegur awek dia. Gua cakap, "You nak bakul ni? Kalo tak kene bayar, kan. Nanti you pass la pulak kat sesape okay or you just pulangkan aje."
Awek tu pandang gua sekilas, pastu dia "Humph" pastu dia sambung makan pisang. Balak dia tundukkkk je kalo boleh cium tapak kasut sendiri gua rase konfem dia cium.
Baaaaaa.......bi punye bohsia. Hati lu memang sah tak setulus dan seikhlas hati rempit gua. Walaupun gua yang selalu dipandang buruk sebab tunggang motor stail kerengge. Lu sapeeee minah? Gua rasa macam nak jerit macam tu.
Emosi pertama
Gua : Eh lu. Nak bakul tak? Lu boleh tutup kepala semua awek dalam laundry ni sampai lu puas balak muka selipar lu ni sure tak pandang. Series wey muka balak lu macam kuda laut. Mana-mana pompuan depan dia pun gua boleh konpem dia naik jakun.
Emosi kedua
Gua : Eh bohsia yang dah upgrade naik keter Waja turbo bersayap. Lu pikir keter balak lu boleh terbang ke taruh spoiler camtu. Gua amik kasut tebal balak lu gua kasik sepai muka lu... lu mau? Mau???
Emosi ketiga
Gua : Lu ni nampak je badan lagi besar dari gua. Tapi lu nye esteem kecik sial. Lu tak patut marah gua sebab balak gatal lu ni, jomla gua kasik kenal geng-geng gua ramai je lagi single douh. Lu pikir lu boleh gayat naik Waja turbo ni, tapi mungkin lu belum rasa kedasyatan belok tayar sotong kat simpang Fasa 1 Bandar Baru Bangi. Lu patut try.
Gua rasa macam nak emo. Gua dah kira-kira ayat mane paling gempak gua patut sembur. Mula-mula, gua pikir nak taruh Emosi ketiga. Ayat tu macam agak tenang, tapi boleh tahan panjang. Gua rasa by the time gua baru nak abis cakap sure balak dia dah lekap tapak kasut kat pipi kanan gua. Takleh ah. Jadik tinggal Emosi pertama dengan kedua. Masalahnye awek bohsia ni lagi besar dari gua. Nanti gua kene pukul kat situ gua nak lawan cemane. Gua takde muscle.
Last-last gua penat pikir. Gua geleng kepala gua dengan rase kecewa then gua chow dari situ.
Gile geng. Dapat SAP dulu pun gua tak kecewa cenggini.
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