| | Extortion
Recently I found myself lost of words. I felt sad that I was misjudged, and felt tired by this never-ending frustration of being not fairly judged. Worse, the time I had was brief. We can't spread life events of the past 10 years in 5 minutes, can we?
I may be the smallest duckling in the pond, but when I was as young as 4 years old, I had hoped that I would not forever be young, nor being judged by my size compared to the rest. Simply because I have yet to have a greater responsibility than anyone else in this whole world, I should not be seen as incompatible of thinking further, or as far as other people. Of course I'm not the brightest. (But I am not the smallest duckling in the pond anymore!)
I embrace myself being human. I have reasons why certain people are my friends whilst other certain people I avoid from. Killers and ustazs live among us. I accept that fact just as I accept differences in all of us. That's why I was lost of words. That's why I felt tired. People take me a less person simply because I say out what I think. People take me a less person simply because I choose not to say what I think. People have a knack of thinking less of me because I beg to differ more frequently than agreeing with them.
However I remain true to myself. And I have remained to be myself since I was as young as 4 years old. I do not intend to change myself. Perhaps now I have bigger opinions. But my mouth has been this big since I was born. Perhaps too big for all the good people in the world. That's what makes me less than them. Although my past deeds and misdeeds beg to differ. Although their deeds and misdeeds beg to differ. Have they forgotten that similarly, I am born with functioning eyes too?
When I am lost of words, I'd like to have strong friendship more than anything in the world. Because with friends, I can talk and tell and be honest about everything in the world, and I will always feel welcomed and belong in their circle.
Anyway. Here's a new muse to the family. Mother rescued him while he was running for his life from this huge wild dog at the playground in front of our house. Turn out mother got us a mixed breed - quite big in size compared to other kittens his age, long hair but not quite persian.. It's fur colour ade sedikit lain macam gak. See white lining crossing its black patch on his back. Like turtle shell. Gray paws. Gray eyes.
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| | Posted 6/29/2008 3:10 PM - 79 views - 4 comments
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