ohh9baby's Xanga

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Sun, 27 Jul 2008 03:57:29 GMT

hey all! sorry its been a while. my grandma is better. she is driving herself around now. so..im babysitting... again..lol
its midnight. yeah...i know..pretty late. im also babysitting next friday and Saturday night till one in the morning..ugh.. well im glad she has the internet! anyways, not much going on still. but its kinda nice to not be so busy all the time. i cant wait till school starts! next week i also have this camp called colorgaurd camp. im in the marching band, and this year we are trying something new. we are adding flag twirlers! and i decided i should sign up since its my last year in high school and all. so we have this like four hour daily camp thing at school. im not so sure about it! i mean, they said its a lot of memorizing the dance moves and getting the flag twirling/throwing and catching down. cause we are going to go to competitions and stuff next year.. and i know nothing about flags...but i think it will be ok.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:17:48 GMT

hey guys, just wanted to thank you for the comments about my grandma! She is still in the hospital, but i think she is going to be let out tomorrow. they did several tests and MRI's and scans. They concluded that she had a mini stroke, and they also discovered that there is some brain shrinkage.. im not really sure what that means though. im just glad she doesnt have cancer or anything! not much going on this week. been babysitting everyday.. but thats about it! just wanted to update you guys! thanks again!

love------------------------------------> ohh9baby!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 13:34:30 GMT

mkay. so... this week has been pretty hectic. been babysitting daily still. but on wed, my grandma called me and told me she fell on the floor. so i was only next door, but i had 2 kids to watch. one was sleeping, one was watching a movie upstairs, so i thought if i ran to my grandma's house, they would be fine. so i sprinted there, in flip flops, and found my grandma laying on the tile floor with her head in her closet. now my grandma is pretty heavy, and so i had to lift her up on her bed. but there was one problem. she couldnt move! some nerve in her back had errupted or something, and she couldnt move without screaming. she told me the pain was worse than childbirth. i didnt know what to do. and at that time, it had already been 10 mins. that i had left the kids alone next door. so i really wanted to get her on the bed, so i just had to lift her, regardless of the pain. i felt so bad! by default, i had called the kids i was babysitting mother to see if she had any ideas on what i should do. she was more concerned about the kids being left alone. she actually got mad at me for leaving them there. but one cant walk yet and the other has down-syndrome, so i thought it was best i left them there. and it wasnt like i was a mile away or anything! anyways, my mom was out of town so i coudnt call her for help, so i called my step-mom. her and my brother rushed down to my grandmas house. when i was let off of babysitting, i went back to grandmas house, to find that she really cant move, and she really is in a lot of pain. we ended up calling an ambulance to come get her, because there was no way we were going to move her. so we went to the hospital, and comforted her. the hospital was awful. they didnt seem to care that my grandma was in pain. we kept asking for water for her and stuff, and they never brought it. they gave her 6 shots. im pretty sure they over-dosed her. so my step mom and i went back to my grandmas house while she was still at the hospital so we could tidy up her house some. the hospital called us at 11:30 at night, and told us that grandma was ready to come home. we asked them if she could move or walk..they said no. and they expected us to take her home??!! crazy! it was just my step-mom and i. and the both of us could never carry her home. especially if she still cant move! we were so mad at the hospital! we just couldnt beleive they would send someone home if they are in the same condition that she came in with. so we took her home. she was in a lot of pain. all she could do was sleep! but today she was acting very confused and was throwing up and was just being very strange. so we took her to the hospital agian. they are going to do a cat scan on her head and stomach soon. they also admitted her to a room. they know for sure she has a major infection, but they arent sure where. so this is all weird for me. i just hope she gets better. if you are reading this, please pray for her! thank you so much! much love,,,

-----------------------------------------------------------------------> ohh9baby<3

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Sun, 06 Jul 2008 21:00:27 GMT

OK,, SO TODAY HAS BEEN.......a train wreck been babysitting since...11:30 or so. it is now 5 o clock. the kids are being horrible for me! they arent listening at all, and then it makes me look like the bad girl

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 17:54:05 GMT

ok. why am i sooo freaking desperate???? im tired of it! all of it! if a guy has a heartbeat, i go out with him. if he calls i freaking get my heart racing. if anything happens dealing with a guy i get flustered. im f****** sick of it! i wish i wasnt so d*** desperate. its just me. i just always fall head over heals for someone i cant have and it just drives me nuts! i guess i just dont understand. or something. i wish i would just treat guys like i do girls, and there wouldnt be a problem. no awkward moments. and nothing embarassing. no more trying to start a converstion. nothing like that. i just need to learn,,that i can do wayy better than that. way better than my past relationships. i need to start fresh. i need to throw out my regrets because they are done. i cant change them. so why waste my time worrying? about the past? sounds kinda stupid to me. but i always find myself thinking of past events. replaying them in my mind like i was there again. its useless. i can assure you that they arent thinking about me right now. or anytime! they dont give a s***. about me at all. so why should i?? im going to be a f****** senior! i deserve none but the best. im on top. the cream of the crop. so why should i get all worked up about nothing?? you tell me. the past is the past. and i hope to keep it there. i really really do. thats what i want for myself. i want to just stop spending all my time remembering, and start spending my time doing. creating new memories, with new people. and if i have to hold out for that person, then so be it. i will wait for that person if it means better memories and no regrets. thats all i have to say.

sorry.. im just a little bit upset with myself right now.

anyways...,,,

love-----------> ohh9baby

hopefully i will go from that....to.....to this. soon.

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:55:18 GMT

heya. so, kinda down today. =(
not really sure why. i think its cause im just babysitting daily. which is ok. i guess. i mean, they money isnt bad. at all. but its the time involved in it. and the responsibility. i dont like to be the one in charge all the time. to be the one to make the adult decisions all the time. its kinda breaking me down. but whenever im home, not babysitting, im bored. so i guess its ok. just ok. everything is always just ok. i get the feeling im going to be alone for a while. a long while. which is ok. i guess. =( i dont really know what is going on. i think im just in the middle of summer. in the middle of my life. i am not looking forward to camp comming up. its gonna suck!! we are flag twirlers. i just dont think i can memorize all the moves and stuff! so im pretty scared! yeah. i know. pathetic. im scared of band camp. so what. im getting to where i dont really care what others think of me anymore. which is ok. but i dont know... i shouldnt care. i should live my life to my standards, cause they arent the ones living it. i am . its mine. they have their own life. they can do what they want with theirs. i can do what i want with mine. heck, you only live once! so, i guess thats pretty much my life in a nutshell. for today at least. i hate it.

Love------> ohh9baby!

Friday, July 04, 2008

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 21:28:49 GMT

I amm sooo pissed off right now!

you dont even know.

this guy ive liked for a while, ((i told him i liked him)) is having a party tonight. its gonna be big. i know. anyways. hes inviting everyone. except me;

what an ass hole! jerk! dumbass!

sorry. im just really really pissed.

thats why im using red.

its the fourth of july too. but thats not why im using it. lol

kk. i know he pretty much hates me. he thinks im a weird stalker who cant get over anything., and somewhat true!! but im not a stalker.. i promise. i just cant get over him. but i think i can now... im so pissed.....

words cant describe it. just...pissssssssseeeeeeeeeedddddddddd ooooooooooooffffffffffffffff......

so i hope his party goes just peachy. and everything goes wrong. i hope the cops come and i hope someone gets hurt. i hope he has a boring night. there. i said it. im just so angry. how could he do that? we went from boyfriend/girlfriend...to friends...to bestfriends...to this.

i dont care anymore. at least not now. not yet anyway. neverrrrr everrrr will i go back to him.

jerk.

by the way, have a good fourth of july. i know i wont. we are having the grandparents over... thats all. story of my life. boring.

love.....------> ohh9baby

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 14:00:52 GMT

Heyyyaa guys!
i just made this thingy because i cant remember my password to my other thingy. ((xoxohersheyoxo))
so ya. and im also babysitting. right now. it is 9:50 AM....i get off around 3. ):
its a sad thing. it sucks babysitting! but i guess the money is good.
Anyways, i just wanted something to do, so i figured i would make one of these. i have a facebook and myspace too. facebook is the best in my opinion. but thats just me. i like it how you can use different colors and update as many times as you want on this thing though. its nice. (:
well, thats about all i have been doing lately. just a bunch of babysitting. its almost a daily thing now. ugh. today is the day that fireworks are leagal. until the fourth. i dont hear any right now though. it is kinda surprising. im so ready for school to start!! i cannot beleive that i am a senior! it is strange to think that!
Im hoping everything goes well this upcomming year. and that i can focus on school more than i do on guys! lol. because this year is the most imporntant to me. i just hope my grades will be fantastic. =} not much is going on in my life now. im just kinda stuck... in the middle of summer. trying to get through it all. ((babysitting daily))
I think things will be ok. just ok. im really really excited to get a macbook..!! but i have to wait another year. its not that i dont have the money or anything, cause i do. its just that my parents think it will be outdated when im ready for college. which is somewhat true. they also think that in a year from now, im not going to want a macbook. but i dont think that is the case.
I love apple products. they are so sleek. they are very advanced too. =] it may take some time to get used to though, since im used to windows. safari is a bit different, so ive heard. anyways, i know that no one is going to be reading this! just me. since i dont have my name on this or anything, noone knows who i am! lol. its just kinda like a diary for me.
anyways, i guess i will update this later, when im not babysittig! lol, actually, it will be when im babysitting. i dont really know. so i will talk to ya later!!!

LLOOOVVVEEEEE--------> ohh9baby

=}