| I DONT WANT YOUR ACCEPTANCE, I`M NOT LOOKING FOR YOU TO
RESPECT ME, because I dont want something from someone who doesn`t know what it
means... I DONT WANT YOU TO ENVY ME, because what I have inside me no one
else can take away... IM NOT ASHAMED, AFRAID OF WHO AND WHAT I AM
AND WILL BECOME... who I am is what I am, embrace it or ignore it...
you maintain a feeling of compassion, loving kindness, then something automatically opens your inner door. Through that, you can communicate more easily with other people. And that feeling of warmth creates a kind of openness. You'll finda that all human beings are just like you, so you'll be able to relate to them more easily. that gives you a spirit of friendship. Then there's less need to hide things, and as a result, feelings of fear, self-doubt, and insecurity are automatically dispelled
*To live life is the know life itself.* I dont understand why i try to pick fights with you. i dont know why I get heated by other girls. I cant even beginng to understand myself, i dont know half the time why i cry, why i cant seem to open up to the people who most need me to speak my mind. I use to think that god owed me big time in my future becuz of my past. but it doesnt happen that way. How can anyoneunderstand me when i myself dont. Where do you begin? And where do you end? Wishing you the one i count on, can explain to me about myself. I cant seem to remember the better times, all i do is think of all the bad and focus when i dont needto. Im lost now. After writing so many things in a short period of time i feel again like notthing matters any more. If i give you my journal and one more, will you then understand me from inside out? Or would you be even more confused than before. Maybe you will find something in my writing that you never knewor answer a question that youvebeen longing for, that i could not have answered with my own my mouth. What do i want in lifeand willi make it in the so called "The real world". How many attemps on my life will i take from now til the end? Will i make it with out you. Can you live in my world and can i fit into yours? I need you to anaylize everything about me, every word i speak, thoughts i say to you. I need you to think between the lines and past the lines. Think carefully and think deeper then just the surface. And dont be scared of what you may find. My life has not been half way filled but in time, my life will be and closed book. Why do i even try to explain myself to any one or try to anaylize anyone. |
