chapter twenty

I woke up the next morning to Nicole and Abby talking “quietly” on the other bed.
“Hey, how are you doin?” Abby asked as I sat up in bed. I shrugged. It was almost 10:30 and I had slept in, which I must admit, made me feel a little bit better.

I got out of bed and stood up, looking out the window. The sun was shining, the sky was more blue than I had ever seen it, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I sighed and turned to the girls.
“I'm gonna go take a shower,” I told them, walking over to my closet. I took out my blue cami with stars on it and a pair of tan shorts. I walked down the hall and into the bathroom, starting the shower.
I stood there thinking about what happened yesterday. I still couldn't believe what I heard or saw. I mean, it's just a rumor, right?


I was showered, dressed, and back in my room within a half an hour.
“Feel better?” Nicole asked, looking up at me from where she was sitting at my computer. I nodded.
“A little,” I said. I started to get teary again, I just couldn't help it. Abby stood up and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. It was such a good thing we were friends again. I seriously have no idea where I would be without them.

“Why don't we go downstairs, and have something to eat and watch a movie or something?” she said, pulling away as I wiped the tears away from my eyes. My face felt frozen with no expression in the last thirty two hours.
“Sounds good to me,” Nicole said, popping up and heading towards the hallway. I nodded and followed her out.


“What do you have for movies?” Abby asked. I pointed to the table that held all of our DVDs and she walked over to it and opened it.
“Grinch, Rugrats in Paris, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?” she said, pulling the DVD out.
“Red Sox edition,” I told her. She nodded and put it back in.
“Animal House, Bruce Almighty, It's a Wonderful Life... you don't have very much,” she said.
“Yeah, I know, Abby,” I said, sounding a little annoyed. She turned back to the DVDs, still searching for a good movie.
“Is there anything good on On Demand?” Nicole asked, picking up the remote and pressing the black button that said 'On Demand'. “Ooh! The Covenant is on here!” Nicole said. Abby sprung up and grabbed the remote from Nicole's hand and plopped down in the chair. The Covenant was Abby's all-time favorite movie so obviously, this is what we would be watching.

“Come on, Macy! We're gonna watch The Covenant!” Abby shouted out into the kitchen.
“Coming...” I said, grabbing three Poland Spring water bottles from the fridge and walking out into the living room.

I threw Nicole and Abby each a water bottle and sat down when Abby pushed play.
“Oh man, I love this movie,” Abby squealed.

“Holy cow! Who is that in the back seat behind the driver?!” Nicole asked, practically drooling over him.
“That's Caleb,” Abby smiled, feeling the same way as Nicole. I couldn't help but agree.
“Also known as Steven Straight,” I said, laying down on the couch.

“Hey, do you guys want some lunch or something?” I asked, sitting up about twenty minutes into the movie. My stomach wouldn't stop grumbling.
“Yeah, i'm pretty hungry,” Abby said, pressing the pause button and getting up from the chair.
We walked out into the kitchen and went through the freezer until we found something that looked appetizing.
We pulled out a bag of Tyson chicken nuggets and threw them in the microwave so we didn't have to wait long for them.
We just sat at the counter and ate them before going back into the living room to finish the movie.
After three nuggets though, I was full and once again the plane crash and the news was replaying in my mind.
“Mace, are you okay?” Nicole asked me, waving her hand in front of my face and stuffing another chicken nugget in her mouth.
“What? Yeah, yeah I'm fine, just zoning out,” I said with a weak smile. That was the closest thing to a smile in two days.

“She's thinking about the crash,” Abby said, practically reading it in my eyes. “The way she's staring.”

“No, no i'm not,” I said, shaking my head and looking back at Abby. I stopped. “Fine,” I sighed, looking down at the counter where my hands were tapping the counter to the beat of Out Of This World.
“Come on, let's just go watch the rest of the movie,” Nicole said, getting up from the counter and grabbing the white plate from Pier 1 that was sitting on the counter. She rinsed it off and carefully placed it in the dishwasher and we walked back out into the living room to finish the movie.

We sat down where we had been before, pressing the play button and continuing.
“Whoa, I did not see that coming,” Nicole said, looking up just as Reid and Caleb were fighting in the bar in the movie. I rolled my eyes.



The movie was just getting pretty intense when they showed Caleb laying in bed. Just then, a scary figure appeared on the screen. I was grabbing the pillow from the couch and squeezing it nervously while watching the movie. The doorbell rang and the three of us jumped and screamed. I was breathing heavy and put my hand over my heart, actually laughing. Abby and Nicole sat there doing the same while I stood up from the couch.

I felt somewhat nauseous when I first stood up, but it quickly went away. I fixed my blue camisole and walked out to the front door. My heart was still pounding, but I didn't see anyone there. “Probably UPS or something,” I said to myself before grabbing the brass door knob.
I turned it slowly and opened the white door and stepped out. I closed the door behind me and I started freaking out in my mind.

There in front of me stood a five foot eight teenage boy. Wearing green converse, dark skinny jeans and a green Ed Hardy t-shirt and a medical tag around his neck. A loose curl hung in his face and I studied him standing there on my front steps before realizing what was happening.

I covered my mouth with my hand, and then my other. “Nick,” I whispered. I buried my face in my hands before letting the tears come out. He slowly walked up the steps and put his hand on my back, pulling me close to him.

I pulled my hands away from my face and wrapped them around him. I buried my face in his shoulder and he kept holding me as I cried.
“Macy, I'm so sorry,” he told me, stroking my hair. I wanted to forgive him so badly, but I couldn't catch my breath no matter how I tried.
“No, Nick,” I said, pulling away and wiping some of the tears away. “Everything was my fault. I ruined it all and I couldn't even fix it. I don't know who I was, I hate who i've been. I lost myself and...” I spoke. I took a breath. “You shouldn't be the one apologizing. I should be,” I said, staring into his dark brown eyes. “I'm sorry,” I said while bursting into tears and throwing my arms around him again.

We rocked back and forth for a couple minutes and I just couldn't stop crying. He smelled like Abercrombie cologne, a smell that triggered all the good memories we had before he left, making me cry even more. “Breathe, Mace,” he told me.

“You okay?” he asked, pulling away for the second time. He glided his thumb across my cheek, wiping away the tears.
I shook my head. “Nick, I never thought I would see you again,” I told him. “Plus, I figured you hated me and-” he stopped me in mid-sentence.
“Macy, I could never hate you,” he told me, sounding like I was stupid to even consider that. “I hated what you had said and done and become. People change but I could never hate you. No matter what,” he told me.

I started to think about yesterday morning again and I couldn't keep it off my mind. My lip started to tremble and I was staring at the sign on our front door that read 'Cead Mile Failte' which is Gaelic meaning a hundred thousand welcomes.

“What is it, Mace?” he asked.
“the crash,” I told him, almost silently.
“You thought I was on it?” he asked. I nodded my head. “Come here,” he beckoned for me to come closer to him again. For the third time I threw my arms back around him and we stood there for about six minutes.
“The reporter,” I gasped for air. “Said that it could be you. Your family. She said that rumors were swirling...”
“Macy, you know rumors are almost always false,” he whispered, looking into my eyes. His face softened.
“I know but, it just seemed so real and...” I started. “I didn't want to believe it, but I did even though in the back of my mind I knew it wasn't you, I just couldn't convince myself,” I said, wiping the tears off from my face.

“Well, no more worries. Cause it wasn't me, and i'm right here. I never hated you and I never could. Macy...” he said, stopping. His hand on my face and it looked like he was about to tell me he loved me. That's what I wanted to hear all along, but not now. It wasn't the time and the place and it was just better to wait.
We stood there hugging again. He kissed my forehead. We knew we were still in love with each other, but it was better to take it slow for now.



“Macy are you-” Nicole stopped in the doorway, seeing me and Nick on the front poor. Nick looked at her and nodded, but I didn't turn my head to see her. She smiled and closed the door, leaving Nick and I alone again.

“You okay?” he asked me, stroking my hair again. I shook my head, never wanting to let go of him.

“Never let me go,” I spoke so he could barely hear.
He grabbed me tighter, knowing he had to sometime, but knowing he didn't want to either.

“I won't.”

chapter nineteen

“I'm slipping into the lava, and I'm trying to keep from going under, baby you turn the temperature hotter, cause I'm burnin' up, burnin' up for you baby,” my phone screamed the words to Burnin' Up by none other then the Jonas Brothers. Hearing Nick's voice killed me, but I was still just as in love with it.

I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes. I squinted looking at the clock and seeing it was 3:00 AM. I looked at my phone seeing it was Nicole and picking it up.
“Hello?” I asked with a yawn and stretching. I was wicked tired since I had only got about an hour of sleep last night.
“Macy,” came Nicole's voice, but it didn't sound like her. Her voice was deep and groggy, and it sounded almost like she had been crying.
“Nicole?” I asked, looking around my room.
“Turn on channel five,” she said. 'why is she asking me to turn on the news channel?' I thought to myself.
“Why?” I asked, puzzled.
“Just do it,” she said, sniffling a bit.
“Okay?” I said, picking up my remote and turning on my tv. I pressed the button on my remote that read “5” and saw something on tv.
“Nicole, what is this?” I asked, laying down on my stomach. I was at my the end of my bed and looked up at the tv again. It was a obviously still dark out, so the tv was making my room turn orange. Flames were all over my tv when a reporter started talking.
“A private jet crashed here in Denver around 2:00 AM Eastern time this morning. Rumors are swirling it was the teen sensation the Jonas Brothers. After they left Massachusetts last night they were stopping in Denver before finishing their trip to back California. The plane and victims are unidentified at the moment but we will keep an update. Back to you, Tom,” the reporter informed everyone who was watching the news this early in the morning. The accident on tv was a mess, fire everywhere.
“oh my god,” I muttered after hearing her say “Jonas Brothers.” “no,” I thought to myself. I shook my head but it was too late to erase what I just heard. “Nick,” I mumbled. My phone dropped out of my hand and onto the floor but I didn't move.
“Macy,” I heard quietly coming from the floor, but I was in shock. I couldn't move, I couldn't think, I couldn't function. She just said people are thinking the Jonas Brothers were in this plane. This horrific crash.

I shook my head in disbelief. “No...no...” I said again. “no!” I sat there, pulling my knees to my chest and sobbing like I had done the day before. “No, no” I continued to say. Nicole hung up and I sat there and sat there, rocking back and forth. I saw the bear sitting on my bed that I had made earlier last year with Nicole and Abby. We dressed them up to resemble the Jonas Brothers and named them after them too. It was pathetic but that's who we are.

I grabbed the bear and held it against my stomach, squeezing it. It's only three in the morning and it was going to be the worst day of my life.



I heard my door creak open and saw my dad standing there in the doorway.
“Macy, are you okay?” he asked while I turned back to the tv, not giving a response. The past couple of days he was called into work early and heard me crying. I didn't respond but I was pretty sure I made it obvious.

“Mace, hun. What's wrong?” he asked quietly so he didn't wake my mom and Chace. He walked over to my bed and sat down in front of me.
“Them,” I practically whispered. “Nick,”
He looked over at the tv to catch a glimpse of the accident. He hadn't really been clued in on this like my mom, but he was quick to figure it out.
“You love him?” he asked. As soon as he said love I fell into his arms. He sat there holding me while I cried for a couple minutes, rubbing my back and trying to calm me down.
“Mace, I gotta go get ready for work, I was called in early again,” he said, stroking my hair and pulling away. He gently wiped the tears away and kissed my forehead before getting up and walking out of my room. He shut my door and I could tell he felt bad leaving me.


Twenty minutes later, my door flew open. I was still sitting there sobbing. Two figures walked in and shut the door behind them. The bear was still clutched in my hands.
“Mace,” someone said, sounding like Abby. They burst out into tears and walked over to the end of my bed. 3:20 in the morning and Nicole and Abby had just been dropped off at my house.
“Macy are you okay?” Nicole asked, walking over to me and Abby. I didn't answer, I just watched the flames grow.
“no,” I said, folding over.
“Mace, come here,” Abby said, sitting down at the end of my bed and opening her arms. I flung myself into them and sobbed on her shoulder. The three of us sat there while I cried.

“Mace, it's just a rumor. Rumors are never true,” Nicole said, trying to reassure me. But I couldn't focus.

“I'll be right back,” I said, throwing the bear against my pillow and running to the bathroom. I shut the door, flipping on the lights and heading towards the toilet. I pulled out the stool from the closet and sat on it over the toilet.
When I got either really nervous or excited I usually ended up getting sick. Or if I cried a lot, which was the case today.
I could feel myself burning up and I felt like I was going to die as I sat there, practically hanging over the toilet.
Nicole and Abby walked in a couple minutes later, shutting the door behind them and walking over to me. They rubbed my back as I sat there.

A couple minutes later we were back in my room.
“Guys,” I finally muttered. “The last thing I told him was that I didn't like him. The last thing he heard me say was I didn't like him. What if he died thinking I hated him?” I asked, a tear falling off my cheek and splashing when it hit my bare leg.

“Macy, he's not dead,” Abby said.
“You don't know that for sure,” I replied, squeezing my bear again. “anything is possible.”
•••••••••••••
“Nick,” Denise whispered into Nick's ear, waking him up gently from a deep sleep. He rubbed his eyes and studied his mother's face. “Nick, hunny, we're stopping in Nebraska. There was a terrible plane crash in Denver,” she spoke quietly. “we're going to stop here for a bit and probably find a place to get breakfast,” she said, standing up and walking over to where Joe was sound asleep.


An hour later, the Jonases were out to eat breakfast. “Hey, are you okay?” Joe nudged his little brother who was sitting directly to his right. Nick shook his head. He hadn't touched his food, he hadn't said much, he basically just sat there thinking about one thing.

“Nicholas,” Paul called after his son as they left the restaurant. “what's going on? You haven't touched your food, you haven't said anything. Something is wrong,” he said, walking behind the rest of the family with Nick.
“Dad, when we left Macy's house yesterday...” he started. Mr. Jonas nodded, following along. “I made Macy pretty upset and she said she didn't like me. But when we were driving down her street, I turned around and saw her standing there, yelling something and it looked like she was crying. She stopped in the middle of the street and I just couldn't tell Kevin to stop and turn around. I was too upset and...” Nick stopped. “Dad, what if she thinks that we were on that plane that crashed in Denver?” he asked, stopping in his tracks.
“Nick, do you love her?” Nick thought about it for a second and then nodded his head.
“I think so,” he said softly.
“Then you need to go back and make things right. Don't let her be devastated thinking you were killed in some plane crash,”
“How do you know she'd be devastated?” he asked.
“Nick, we've all been in love before,” his father replied, putting his hand on Nick's back.
“But dad, I can't just go home. We'd have to get on the plane and go all the way back, and I can't do that to everyone,” Nick said.

“If you love her, you can and you will,” Mr. Jonas replied, catching up to the others. Nick followed behind thinking about what his dad just said.
“Dad!” he called up. Mr. Jonas turned around while Nick continued walking. He nodded his head. “I want to go home.”
•••••••••••••
“Mace, what are you doing?” Abby asked, sitting down on the other bed next to mine.
“Praying,” I told her. It was about five o'clock here now and the girls already decided they weren't leaving anytime soon. They knew I needed them.
Nicole put her hand out and I slapped mine on hers. Abby joined with us and we pretty much just sat there, praying with each other for the next five minutes.



Nicole and Abby stayed the rest of the day and we didn't do much but mope around. I felt like crap and just wished everything would be back to normal soon. Just like the last time they came home. Before the fight and all this.
I realized it was my fault. I ruined everything.
•••••••••••••
It wasn't till around 9:00 that night that the Jonases arrived back home. Everyone was exhausted and headed straight to bed, including Nick. He knew the first thing he had to do tomorrow.

He switched the ceiling fan on his room before getting under the covers and watching the stars out the window. He couldn't sleep and continued to lay there watching them. Sometime around 9:36, a shooting star became visible.
“A shooting star,” Nick said to himself. He closed his eyes and made a wish.
•••••••••••••
“Macy,” Nicole said, walking over to the window where I was sitting. She sat down next to me. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“Watching the stars,” I replied. They twinkled in the sky and they were so pretty.
A few seconds later, I saw the shooting star.
“A shooting star,” I whispered and pointed. Abby was now sitting on the other side of me, as we all sat there and watched.
I closed my eyes and made a wish.

chapter eightteen

I sat on the driveway a little longer in the pouring rain until my mom finally came home. She pulled into the garage and stood in there, yelling to me.
“Macy, hon! What are you doing out here in the pouring rain?” she said. The one thing that was just great about my mom – she was always calm no matter what and that made it so much easier to talk to her.

I shook my head and stood up slowly. I was soaking wet and turned around, looking at her standing there. She watched me, my head still shaking.
“Mom,” I said quietly. Still standing on the driveway. “I messed up, big time.”
My cheeks were stained from my mascara. “Come here,” she beckoned.

I slowly made my way over to her, then stood in front of her. I looked up at her and wrapped my arms around her, crying on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around me, rubbing my back while I continued to cry. She didn't care that I was soaking wet, she only cared that she could help me get through whatever it was, and make everything come out okay in the end.

“Why don't we go inside, and you go take a shower and put some sweats on and you'll feel better,” she said tucking a piece of my dirty blonde hair behind my ear. I nodded and walked over to the door.
•••••••••••••
“Don't you feel a little better now?” my mom asked when I came down after my shower. I was wearing my grey, baggy sweats with a an Ellsbury shirt. My hair was wet from my shower and pulled back in a messy bun.
“Physically, I can't honestly say emotionally,” I muttered, sitting down on one of the stools. The rain had stopped and I must admit, I was feeling a little better.
“I'll be right back,” I said, a couple seconds later and getting up from my seat.

All the thoughts running through my head, I was starting to get emotional again. I buried my face in my pillow, wanting to scream so bad. Scream in my pillow for a better tomorrow.
I continued to lay there for a couple minutes, not realizing the sun had come out.

I lifted my head off of my pillow and looked out the window.
When I looked out there, the three little girls were together again.
Amelia, Nora, and Melanie were there names. The three were my neighbors, all in different houses, and had such different personalities, yet were alike in so many ways. They were always together and did crazy things like make up games, put on plays, and do all the things that Nicole, Abby, and I used to do when we were little. Some days, when Abby and Nicole were over, we would sit on my driveway and watch them, and talk about how much the reminded us of ourselves when we were little.
Everyone agreed and said when they were older, they'd be just like us; before the fight.
Something else we found interesting among these girls, were their names. Their first names started with an A, N, or M...just like us.

I sat up to watch them, laughing like crazy and running all over the place. There were so many days that I said I wish I was four again, and not because I don't like my life. I love my life, just the past few days have been extremely rough, but because nothing mattered.

You could be who you wanted to be. You didn't have to worry about simple things and could be completely careless. You weren't picked on, there was no drama, and your biggest fear was the monster in your closet or the boogie man under your bed, or that a boy with cooties would pass them on. Life was so much easier when we believed boys had cooties. I cracked a smile thinking about that.
And also, there wasn't anything in the world stopping you. You got a little cranky once in a while, and that was the only thing abnormal in your life.

“I miss those days,” I said, squeezing my pillow harder. My eyes were automatically drawn to the picture in the white and blue frame on my nightstand. The picture that I had forgotten about all this time, that had been there throughout the whole fight. The picture of me and Abby about seven and a half years ago, in second grade on our first communion day. Our toothless smiles made me laugh. I stood up and walked over to the other pictures in my room. One from kindergarten at my old house nearly ten years ago. Abby and I on the playscape with the biggest smiles ever on our faces.
Or the pictures from field trips in fifth grade with Nicole.

I missed the old days.


When I looked back out the window three minutes later, I saw two teenage girls walking up the driveway.
“Abby? Nicole?” I asked quietly. I ran out of my room and downstairs. I walked over to the front door right as they reached it, and opened it.
They stood on the steps and I walked out, shutting the door gently behind me.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, in a soft tone. “I figured you hated me by now,”
“Macy, we never hated you,” Nicole started.
“We've hated what you had become,” Abby finished.
“Honestly,” I said, “I don't even know who I've been these last couple weeks,” I said quietly. “I can't believe the things I've done, or said,” I spoke, trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. “And I just want to start all over. I've missed you guys,” I said. A single tear fell from my face and landed on the cement below me. Nicole walked up the steps, standing on the porch with me. I looked up at her.

“Let's just forget about the past. What's been done has been done, what's been said has been, and it's time to move on,” she said, putting her arm around my neck.

“Everything happens for a reason, and maybe our friendship wasn't as strong as it was supposed to be, and now it is. If we can make up after two weeks of not talking to each other, then we can do anything as friends,” Abby said, stepping up and putting her hand around my neck. She did the same to Nicole, forming a circle.

“we're in a circle, and circles are never-ending,” I said quietly. I looked at the girls as we chuckled, letting go of each other and wiping the tears from ours eyes. It felt so much better, wiping tears of joy instead of tears of sorrow.

My friends were finally back. I was finally back. And there was only one other person who really mattered to me that needed to know.


“So, did Nick come over to say goodbye?” Abby asked as we sat together on my driveway. I sighed and nodded.
“Uh oh. That doesn't sound good,” Nicole said, drawing imaginary things on the driveway.
“It was a mess. I'm an idiot,” I told them. “I don't even know who I was until like, three minutes ago,” I sighed, leaning back.
“What happened?” Abby asked.
“Well, I basically flipped out on him, surprise. And then told him I didn't like him and three seconds after he left, I realized it was because I love him,” I said, laying down on the driveway and putting my hands on my head. Nicole and Abby were silent for a few seconds.
“Did they already leave yet?” Nicole asked as I propped myself back up. Abby nodded her head and studied the driveway before looking back up at me.
“Have you tried calling him yet?”
I shook my head. “No, it never really occurred to me, but I'm pretty sure he won't answer because I know he hates me,” I said, as I held my head up with my fist.

“Why don't you call trying him though. Maybe he will answer,” Nicole said. I sighed and grabbed my phone from my pocket and searching for Nick's number in my contacts. I found it and looked at it for a few seconds, hesitating. Abby finally pushed the green button for me and it started ringing.
He didn't answer and it went straight to voicemail.
“Call him again,” Nicole said. I went back to my contacts and found his number again, pressing send. Again, he didn't answer and it went straight to voicemail.

“Hold on, let me call him. Maybe he'll answer from my phone,” Abby said, pulling out her phone and dialing his number. She sat there for a couple seconds with her phone up to her ear before bringing it down and closing it. “Nothing,” she said.
“Try *67,” Nicole suggested.
Abby called again, this time letting it come up restricted. She sighed and shoved her phone back in her pocket.
“Sorry, Mace,” she said quietly. “I don't know what we're going to do.”

I sighed heavily. “Now I have to go the next four weeks feeling awful until I can see him again and...ugh” I complained, putting my hands over my face.
•••••••••••••
The Jonases were about to board they're private jet and make their way back to California for their first concert on Monday. They were leaving a few days early so they had plenty of time to prepare for their first show in a couple weeks.

“Nick, what's wrong hon?” Mrs. Jonas asked, noticing Nick looked a little down. He shook his head.
“Nothing,” he mumbled, but she knew something was up.
“Are you sure?” she asked again.
“Yeah,” he said quietly, avoiding eye contact with her. She just nodded her head and walked away.

Around seven o'clock, they were boarding their plane. Nick had been quiet throughout most of dinner which was unusual.
They're bags were already on board and they were leaving in half an hour. Nick sat down on one of the leather seats next to the window. He rested his head on his hand and continued to sit there until everyone was on.

Thoughts were running through his head like crazy. He wasn't sure that he was ready to go, but tried to forget everything.
About fifteen minutes later, he was still sitting there, studying the people as they became smaller and smaller and finally becoming unrecognizable.

He knew this might not be the right decision, but it was part of his job, something he had to do. Just hoping it didn't effect his playing.
••••••••••••••
“I don't know if I can wait another four weeks to wait for him to come back home,” I said, still sitting on the driveway with Nicole and Abby.
“We'll figure it out,” Nicole said, reassuringly. “He can't ignore all of our phone calls until they come back.”
“I'd call Kevin or Joe, but they're probably boarding right now or are up there already,” Abby said. I laid down on the driveway, my knees still bent.
“Why didn't we think of that before?” I asked, feeling pretty stupid.
“Who knows,” Abby said, laying down besides me. Nicole joined.

We laid there on the driveway while the sun slowly set, watching every airplane fly over us.
By the time the third one flew over us, there was a sharp pain in my heart, but at the same time a little feeling of relief. I hoped it would get better soon and I could feel that was going to happen.

If only I knew that very one was the one that Nick was on.

chapter seventeen

“Hey Nola!” I said, being greeted by my dog who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs around 2:00 on Wednesday. “Wanna go for a walk?” I asked her, walking into the kitchen and picking up her black leash and attaching it to her collar. She wagged her tail and followed me out the door. I shoved my phone that was in my hand in my pocket and headed down the driveway.

It was a hot day and sunny, perfect pool weather, but I had no one to swim with. The Jonases were leaving tomorrow night and we're packing at home and I still hadn't talked to Abby or Nicole in however many days.

These two weeks with Nick, Joe, Kevin and even Frankie had flown by and I had such a blast, if only Abby and Nicole hadn't ruined everything earlier. As much as I wanted this dumb and ridiculous fight to be over, I didn't want to talk to them either. I dreaded tomorrow's goodbye to the guys, but maybe we need to work it out, the three of us.

I walked Nola across the street and down around by where the Jonas family had moved when they came back for the couple weeks and heard shrieks from their backyard that didn't sound like boys.
I walked slower with Nola by my side when we got in front of their house. I turned my head at the sound of a splash in the in ground pool that was there when they moved in, and saw two girls in floats in the pool. They were laughing and giggling. Splashing and squirting. Yelling and screaming. Joking and playing. Sure looked like a good time.

I stood there in this street for a couple minutes, Abby, Nicole, Joe, Kevin, and Frankie in clear view.
I saw Nicole say something to Abby who was floating around with her back to me, when she turned her head to see me and Nola standing there in the street. Nola wagged her tail and started to walk, but I yanked the leash, pulling her back. Abby turned back around and said something to Nicole.
“Hey Nick!” I heard Abby say something to him. I shook my head and started to walk away slowly with my head down.

“Why did I do this?” I asked, knowing there wasn't going to be an answer. Nola came closer to walk beside me. The thing about dogs that always comforted me the most – they always knew when something was wrong.

“Macy!” I heard a voice call from behind me. I started to walk faster. “Macy! Wait!” Nick yelled, coming out on the driveway from the garage. “Macy!” he yelled running to catch up with me. “Macy, wait. Can I explain?”
“what Nick?!” I asked, choking back tears. “what is there to tell me?” I asked. “You used to like the beginning and then fell for the evil plan my former best friends had and now you don't? I'm just some loser that's not good enough for you?” I asked, and starting to walk again.
“No, Mace,” he said, walking faster to catch up with me again.
“Then what is it, Nick? Why am I not friends with them, and I'm not over your house right now like they are? Not having fun?” I said, a tears streaming down my cheek right now. I was burning up and the sun just seemed to beat harder and harder. My feet felt like they were on fire in my black flip flops and Nola was panting heavily.
“No, not at-”
“You know what, save it Nick. I don't want to hear it right now. Maybe tomorrow when you're saying goodbye. I'm just not in the mood today,” I said, finally walking off down the street. Nola wagged her tail next to me and I pet her.

We walked the rest of the way home, tears still pouring down my cheek. I swear it had gotten ten times hotter than when I left the house fifteen minutes ago, which was a mistake in two ways.

I brought Nola inside unhooked her leash and putting some ice cubes in her water dish to cool her down.
I ran upstairs and slammed my door shut, throwing myself on my bed and burying my wet face in my pink pillow. After crying for about six minutes straight, I lifted my head up and looked out the window, seeing three little girls about four running around everywhere.

I missed being little so much.
•••••••••••••
“Hey Macy, Nick's here to see you,” my mom said, sitting on my bed and rubbing my back. I looked up at her somewhat confused and looked at my clock seeing it was 5:30.
“Were you upset about something? You must have fallen asleep,” she told me in a calm and soothing voice. I shook my head.
“Yeah,” I replied softly, rubbing my eyes. I got up from my bed and checked myself in the mirror before heading downstairs. My eyes were poofy and red and my hair was thrown up messy, but I didn't care. He's nearly seen me at my worst already so I basically had nothing to hide.

I walked downstairs giving him a weak smile.
“Hey,” I said.
“We seriously need to talk,” he said. “Can we go outside?”
I nodded my head yes and followed him out to the porch. We sat down on the black rocking chairs that were on the porch.
“Macy, I'm really sorry about what happened today,” he started. He seemed nervous.
“No, Nick. I'm sorry I blew you off like that. I was just really hurt but I should have been more respectful,” I said, avoiding eye contact.
“I know, but listen. The reason why you weren't invited today was because Abby and Nicole told me you were sick. They never said you guys were fine and all now, but they told me I shouldn't call you and ask you because you had been throwing up all night. I'm slapping myself now for falling for an evil trick like that, and I really am sorry,” he said. The sympathy in his voice was clear, and that made me feel even worse about what had happened earlier in the day. I held my breath and let it out, looking at him.
“I'm really really sorry,” I said, staring into his soft brown eyes. He put his hand on my hand that was on the arm of the chair. Feeling it there, I could feel my heart skipping every beat.
“And I haven't known you guys that long, but I know that I like all three of you, so so much and it kills me to see three best friends fighting like this. Please, just try to work it out,” he said, staring back at me and waiting a couple seconds before getting up off the rocking chair and walking down the steps.

I didn't know what to say back to him, but I didn't want him to leave. I sat there thinking while I watched him walk.
But then I thought again about what he had just said, moments ago.
“They told him I was sick,” I said, quietly to myself as he disappeared through the trees. I shook my head while standing up and walked back inside.

“Is everything alright?” my mom asked as I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the counter. I nodded my head and looked down, doodling on the pad in front of me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, looking over at me, then back to the pot of rice that she was stirring up. I shook my head and she stopped asking questions. I wanted so badly to tell my mom, but I was afraid I'd get too mad again, and yell at her.

“I'm gonna go upstairs for a little bit,” I told her, getting up from my seat and walking away.
“Okay, hun,” she said, stirring the rice around in the pot. “If you want to talk, I'm here,” she told me as I walked upstairs and into my room. I shut my door and jumped on my bed and closed my eyes.
I tend to sleep when I'm mad, and right now, I was pretty sure I qualified as furious.

•••••••••••••
the next day
••••••••••••••
I woke up around 7:30 the next morning, feeling a little hungry which was unusual for me in the morning. I couldn't go back to sleep so I headed downstairs.
I found a piece of bright pink paper on the kitchen counter with a note on it.
“Hey, Macy! You fell asleep last night and I didn't want to wake you. You're probably hungry since you didn't eat last night but there are cheerios in the pantry and donuts in the microwave. I'm going out to lunch with some people and then doing errands afterwards so I'll be back around four. Call if you need anything! Love, Mom,”
I cracked a smile reading it and headed towards the microwave. I pulled out a Boston Crème and slapped in on the plate, grabbing myself a napkin and pulling out the jug of milk. I poured myself a glass and put the milk away and walked out into the living room to enjoy my breakfast.

It was an overcast day and looked like it wasn't going to storm or at least rain any minute. It was cool and windy out, unusual for a summer day.

I took my phone out of the pocket in my sweatshirt, seeing I had four missed calls. Two from Nicole and two from Abby.
I closed my phone thinking it was probably not important and they were just waiting to yell at me for no reason at all. Never would it have occurred to the selfish person I am that maybe, just maybe, they wanted to apologize to me.
•••••••••••••
The door bell rang around 2:30 in the afternoon, and I heard a couple knocks following it. I double checked myself in the mirror, making sure I looked at least just a couple hundred times better than I did yesterday before opening the door and letting Nick, Joe, and Kevin in.
I was wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans, a white tank top and my blue sweatshirt with little green polka dots on it.
My hair was completely straight and I was wearing mascara, making my eye lashes twice as long as they already were. My eye liner was light and I slid on a pair of black flip flops from old navy, just to complete my outfit. I quickly applied lip gloss before throwing it and running downstairs to get the door.
“Hey!” I said in a much better mood, opening the door.
“Hey, Mace!” The guys said, walking in side. We stood in somewhat of a circle silent for a few seconds until Kevin finally spoke.
“Well, I guess this is it for a few weeks,” he said, opening his arms for a hug. I hugged him, tight.
I tried to fight back tears, I mean, it was only going to be a few weeks, right?

I moved on next to Joe, giving him a hug too.
“I'm gonna miss you guys so much,” I said, letting go and laughing about how ridiculous I probably looked to them.
“We're gonna miss you too. A lot,” they said with a heart warming smile, the three of them. Nick nodded and asked to speak to me alone for a second, so Kevin and Joe headed outside to the car.

“What is it?” I asked, following him out to the kitchen and lifting myself on the counter.
“Mace, you've really got to do something about the three of you,” he said. He was about to give up on us, nothing he did seemed to help and he was trying. He was honestly trying.

“Nick,” I sighed, looking away from him and out the window.
“Macy, I don't understand why you guys are in this huge fight, and I feel like I'm only making it worse,” he said, leaning against the counter.
“No, Nick, you're not,” I told him.
“Macy, they're really sorry about what they've done. Yesterday afternoon when you were walking in front of our house and then left, I was really upset. When I walked back out into the pool area, they confessed,” he told me.
“If they're so sorry, then why are you fighting their battle for them?” I asked, crossing my arms and speaking in a tone maybe a little more harsh than I intended.
“Because Macy, how many missed phone calls did you have yesterday?” he asked me.
I hesitated. “...four...”
“See? Macy, they were calling to apologize,”
“How do you know?”
“Because I was there with them, and if you gave them a chance and called them back, things might be okay,” he said, calming down a bit. But I was still fired up.
“Well, how was I supposed to know they weren't calling me to freak out on me?” I asked, giving him a look.
He shook his head. “Because you have to give them a chance. You can't hear someone if you don't listen,” he said, almost in a whisper.
“And that's supposed to mean...?” I said, hopping off the counter.
“If you keep ignoring them, you're never going to know what they were actually trying to say, or do, whatever, Mace. You can't fight with them for the rest of your life. You guys are best friends. You can't tell me that you never want to be friends with them again,” he said.
“Watch me,” I said. That crossed the line.
“Macy, I thought I liked you, and I liked who you were. But I've hate what you've become,” he said, shaking his head and turning around to head out the door.
“Yeah, well I thought I liked you,” I practically shouted. “And I was wrong!” I shouted again. “I DON'T LIKE YOU!”
The door slammed and he wasn't there.

“What have I done?” I asked myself, feeling my eyes sting and a tear sliding down my face. “What did I just do? What have I become? I'm a monster. I'm a horrible friend, and I'm pretty sure I just lost someone I loved,” I said before I stopped. I heard the car door slam. “That's it,” I said, breathing heavily. “I don't like him, I love him,” I said again. I had basically just gotten slapped across the face to figure out I loved him.

“Nick,” I said. I bolted towards the door and struggled to open it. I finally opened it as they were pulling out of the driveway. The car headed around the cul-de-sac, away from me.
“Wait,” I whispered. “Wait!”
I slammed the door behind me and ran down the driveway.
“Wait! NICK!” I yelled, going the opposite way around the cul-de-sac.
“NICK!” I yelled again before stopping. It was two late and I stood there, watching the black SUV drive down the street. I shook my head.
“I don't like you, Nick,” I said, tears flowing. “I love you,” I whispered.

I slowly walked back over the driveway, sitting on it. I buried my face in my knees. I knew he wasn't coming back.
Something stung my back and I lifted my head, seeing dots all over the driveway. It was raining and started raining harder and harder.

I sat there and put my hood over my head, my knees still up to my chest. I rocked myself back and forth a few times, still sobbing.

I was crying so hard I was practically hyperventilating, but I couldn't stop no matter how I tried.
I had just messed things up with so many people that were so important to me.

And unlike most days involving the Jonas Brothers, I just wanted this day to come to an end.

chapter sixteen

another chapter in less than two hours. getting really into it and i just can't stop! hope you like it!
♥tory
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 I woke up the next morning to the sound of four and five year olds riding their bikes around the cul-de-sac and screaming at each other after sleeping with my windows open.
I rolled over and threw my pillow over my head but the noise didn't go away. The heat was also preventing me from going back to sleep so I got up and walked over to my computer to turn it on.

I sat there for a couple minutes while I waited for AIM to log me on and thought about what happened yesterday.
“God, I'm so dumb,” I said to myself, slapping my forehead. “Why did you have to go and overreact Macy. Listen to others for once, they're right sometimes.”

Finally my desktop appeared on the monitor and AIM was up. Seeing Abby was online, I double clicked her name on my buddy list, thinking I should probably apologize.
But as soon as the box opened and I read her away message for today, I felt like another hundred pounds were dropped on my shoulders as they dropped.
“Mall with Nicole. Text us.”
“Wow, low again,” I said to myself quietly. I laughed with disbelief, shaking my head. “here I am to apologize and they blow me off again.” After talking about going to the mall together forever. And now being me, not thinking before I acted and being ridiculous, I picked up my phone to dial Nick's number.

“Hey Macy! Sorry I didn't get the chance to call you back yesterday. The family went out and my phone died and then...”
“Nick, whoa. Calm down it's okay. What are you up to today?” I asked, feeling evil.
“Um, nothing. Why? You want to hang out?” he asked sounding somewhat eager.
“Well, I was wondering if you were up to a mall visit,” I said, posting an away message up and picking out a cute outfit from my closet.
“like, all of us?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied, going through piles of clothes.
“oh, okay, let me go check with them,” he said. I could hear him yelling to his brothers and bringing the phone back up to his ear. “Okay, we're all up for it. Pick you up in thirty?” he asked.
“Sounds like a plan! See you then!” I said, hanging up the phone, and evil smile plastered on my face.

I rushed to the shower and rushed right back as fast as I could.
I threw on my white and blue checkered Bermuda shorts and a white cap sleeve t-shirt from American Eagle. I tied on my green converse I had gotten a couple weeks ago and put on my puca shell necklace.
I quickly put on some mascara and brushed my hair, grabbed my purse, sticking some gift cards and a twenty in my wallet and putting it in there, though today my goal wasn't shopping.

I ran downstairs just as I saw a kid with curly hair walking up to the front door and ringing the doorbell.

“Hey!” I said, walking out the door and getting in the backseat of Kevin's car.
“Hey guys!” I said, buckling my seat.
“Hey Macy,” they replied back, pulling out of the driveway. Scream by Tokio Hotel was blasting on the stereo and Joe tapped his fingers on the window to the beat.



Frankie was in the way back, telling us a crazy story about how milk came out of his nose at lunch the other day when we finally arrived at the mall.
“So, what's the plan?” Kevin asked while we stood by his car in the parking lot before heading inside.
“I'm gonna go look at sneakers,” Joe informed us.
“Like you don't have enough already,” Nick said, rolling his eyes and laughing.
“You know you still want another pair converse,” Joe said, crossing his arms.
Nick hesitated. “yeah, you're right,” he finally admitted.
“okay then. Me and Frankie are gonna go to Best Buy,” Kevin said. “And you guys just go do your thing,” he said referring to me and Nick. I noticed Kevin was holding a styrofoam cup with orange and pink letters that said 'Dunkin Donuts' on it in his hand.
“Hey, Kev. There's a Starbucks in the mall you know,” I said, nodding my head and looking at the cup. His eyes widened.
“I knew I could smell Starbucks!” he said excitedly, walking over to the trash can to throw away his half full iced coffee. “Thanks for letting me know, Macy. Come on Frankie, we're going to Starbucks!” Kevin said. Frankie sighed and took off side by side with Kevin.

“And I'll be going this way.” Joe said, starting to leave in the other direction. “Text me in a bit so we can meet up somewhere later,” he said, heading off in the direction of a footlocker.
“Will do,” Nick said. “Alright, where are we off to first?” he asked, shoving his hands in his black skinny jeans pockets.
“Wherever you want,” I said as we walked over. But what I was really thinking, was wherever I would find my two 'best' friends.
•••••••••••••
“Oh, there's Kevin, Joe, and Frankie in American Eagle,” Nick said, pointing through the window from outside. It had already been three hours and Nick and I were getting pretty hungry.
“Should we go meet up with them?” I asked, looking up in big beautiful brown eyes and smiling.
“We should!” he said, smiling back and laughing as we walked in.

One of the girls working there greeted us as we walked in and informed us about everything that was on sale. We simply said thank you and continued walking to meet up with the other three Jonases.

We met up with them and stopped to hear Joe's opinion on the shirts that were hanging up when I heard a quiet, yet familiar voice from a few feet behind me.
“oh my god! What is she doing here with them?!” I heard a girl say.
“Is she still mad at you?” I heard the other girl ask.
“I think. She needs to get over herself though. She's overreacting too much and is probably just trying to make me jealous by spending time with them,”

I sighed angrily, shaking my head slightly and biting my lip. I knew it was Abby and Nicole who had found me.
“what was that all ab-...Hey! Abby and Nicole!” Kevin said, starting to ask me what was with the sigh, but before finishing he found Abby and Nicole behind me and waved.
“Hey guys!” Nicole said, like nothing was wrong. I turned around.
“oh, look who's here. This is a surprise,” I said sarcastically, crossing my arms.
“Mace-” Abby started, squinting her eyes and giving me the death glare until Nicole punched her arm.

“we were just gonna go get something to eat, you guys should come with us!” Joe said, inviting them to spend the next hour and a half with us. I closed my eyes while Nicole accepted. Abby turned her head and glared in Nicole's direction. Nicole gave her a look.
“Cool, let's go,” Frankie said, grabbing Nicole and Abby's hand and leading them out of the store.
“What a little flirt,” Kevin laughed as we headed off to eat at Ruby Tuesday's. This was sure to be interesting...
•••••••••••••
“Right this way,” the hostes said, leading us to the table where we would be eating dinner at.
“I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be right back,” Abby said, walking straight towards the bathroom. I sat in the chair next to Nick and the edge of the table with Nicole directly across from me. She got up and walked over to me, whispering something in my ear.
“will you please come with me? We need to talk,” she said, thinking she was doing the right thing. I shook my head and staring down at the menu in front of my.
“Mace, come on,” she said, putting her hands on the table and leaning over in front of me. “please?” she asked again.

I shook my head again. “I don't want to talk right now. Why should I talk to someone who's ditched me two days in a row?” I said quietly and turning back to my menu.
Nick looked over at the two of us as she sat down in her seat.
“is everything okay?” he asked. I didn't respond but through the corner of my eye I saw Nicole shrug. I rolled my eyes.
“talk after?” she mouthed to Nick as he nodded his head. Abby was sitting back at the table shortly after the mini argument I had with Nicole.
The three of us sat there in silence for the rest of dinner.