“Hey Nola!” I said, being greeted by my dog who was waiting at the bottom of the stairs around 2:00 on Wednesday. “Wanna go for a walk?” I asked her, walking into the kitchen and picking up her black leash and attaching it to her collar. She wagged her tail and followed me out the door. I shoved my phone that was in my hand in my pocket and headed down the driveway.

It was a hot day and sunny, perfect pool weather, but I had no one to swim with. The Jonases were leaving tomorrow night and we're packing at home and I still hadn't talked to Abby or Nicole in however many days.

These two weeks with Nick, Joe, Kevin and even Frankie had flown by and I had such a blast, if only Abby and Nicole hadn't ruined everything earlier. As much as I wanted this dumb and ridiculous fight to be over, I didn't want to talk to them either. I dreaded tomorrow's goodbye to the guys, but maybe we need to work it out, the three of us.

I walked Nola across the street and down around by where the Jonas family had moved when they came back for the couple weeks and heard shrieks from their backyard that didn't sound like boys.
I walked slower with Nola by my side when we got in front of their house. I turned my head at the sound of a splash in the in ground pool that was there when they moved in, and saw two girls in floats in the pool. They were laughing and giggling. Splashing and squirting. Yelling and screaming. Joking and playing. Sure looked like a good time.

I stood there in this street for a couple minutes, Abby, Nicole, Joe, Kevin, and Frankie in clear view.
I saw Nicole say something to Abby who was floating around with her back to me, when she turned her head to see me and Nola standing there in the street. Nola wagged her tail and started to walk, but I yanked the leash, pulling her back. Abby turned back around and said something to Nicole.
“Hey Nick!” I heard Abby say something to him. I shook my head and started to walk away slowly with my head down.

“Why did I do this?” I asked, knowing there wasn't going to be an answer. Nola came closer to walk beside me. The thing about dogs that always comforted me the most – they always knew when something was wrong.

“Macy!” I heard a voice call from behind me. I started to walk faster. “Macy! Wait!” Nick yelled, coming out on the driveway from the garage. “Macy!” he yelled running to catch up with me. “Macy, wait. Can I explain?”
“what Nick?!” I asked, choking back tears. “what is there to tell me?” I asked. “You used to like the beginning and then fell for the evil plan my former best friends had and now you don't? I'm just some loser that's not good enough for you?” I asked, and starting to walk again.
“No, Mace,” he said, walking faster to catch up with me again.
“Then what is it, Nick? Why am I not friends with them, and I'm not over your house right now like they are? Not having fun?” I said, a tears streaming down my cheek right now. I was burning up and the sun just seemed to beat harder and harder. My feet felt like they were on fire in my black flip flops and Nola was panting heavily.
“No, not at-”
“You know what, save it Nick. I don't want to hear it right now. Maybe tomorrow when you're saying goodbye. I'm just not in the mood today,” I said, finally walking off down the street. Nola wagged her tail next to me and I pet her.

We walked the rest of the way home, tears still pouring down my cheek. I swear it had gotten ten times hotter than when I left the house fifteen minutes ago, which was a mistake in two ways.

I brought Nola inside unhooked her leash and putting some ice cubes in her water dish to cool her down.
I ran upstairs and slammed my door shut, throwing myself on my bed and burying my wet face in my pink pillow. After crying for about six minutes straight, I lifted my head up and looked out the window, seeing three little girls about four running around everywhere.

I missed being little so much.
•••••••••••••
“Hey Macy, Nick's here to see you,” my mom said, sitting on my bed and rubbing my back. I looked up at her somewhat confused and looked at my clock seeing it was 5:30.
“Were you upset about something? You must have fallen asleep,” she told me in a calm and soothing voice. I shook my head.
“Yeah,” I replied softly, rubbing my eyes. I got up from my bed and checked myself in the mirror before heading downstairs. My eyes were poofy and red and my hair was thrown up messy, but I didn't care. He's nearly seen me at my worst already so I basically had nothing to hide.

I walked downstairs giving him a weak smile.
“Hey,” I said.
“We seriously need to talk,” he said. “Can we go outside?”
I nodded my head yes and followed him out to the porch. We sat down on the black rocking chairs that were on the porch.
“Macy, I'm really sorry about what happened today,” he started. He seemed nervous.
“No, Nick. I'm sorry I blew you off like that. I was just really hurt but I should have been more respectful,” I said, avoiding eye contact.
“I know, but listen. The reason why you weren't invited today was because Abby and Nicole told me you were sick. They never said you guys were fine and all now, but they told me I shouldn't call you and ask you because you had been throwing up all night. I'm slapping myself now for falling for an evil trick like that, and I really am sorry,” he said. The sympathy in his voice was clear, and that made me feel even worse about what had happened earlier in the day. I held my breath and let it out, looking at him.
“I'm really really sorry,” I said, staring into his soft brown eyes. He put his hand on my hand that was on the arm of the chair. Feeling it there, I could feel my heart skipping every beat.
“And I haven't known you guys that long, but I know that I like all three of you, so so much and it kills me to see three best friends fighting like this. Please, just try to work it out,” he said, staring back at me and waiting a couple seconds before getting up off the rocking chair and walking down the steps.

I didn't know what to say back to him, but I didn't want him to leave. I sat there thinking while I watched him walk.
But then I thought again about what he had just said, moments ago.
“They told him I was sick,” I said, quietly to myself as he disappeared through the trees. I shook my head while standing up and walked back inside.

“Is everything alright?” my mom asked as I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the counter. I nodded my head and looked down, doodling on the pad in front of me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, looking over at me, then back to the pot of rice that she was stirring up. I shook my head and she stopped asking questions. I wanted so badly to tell my mom, but I was afraid I'd get too mad again, and yell at her.

“I'm gonna go upstairs for a little bit,” I told her, getting up from my seat and walking away.
“Okay, hun,” she said, stirring the rice around in the pot. “If you want to talk, I'm here,” she told me as I walked upstairs and into my room. I shut my door and jumped on my bed and closed my eyes.
I tend to sleep when I'm mad, and right now, I was pretty sure I qualified as furious.

•••••••••••••
the next day
••••••••••••••
I woke up around 7:30 the next morning, feeling a little hungry which was unusual for me in the morning. I couldn't go back to sleep so I headed downstairs.
I found a piece of bright pink paper on the kitchen counter with a note on it.
“Hey, Macy! You fell asleep last night and I didn't want to wake you. You're probably hungry since you didn't eat last night but there are cheerios in the pantry and donuts in the microwave. I'm going out to lunch with some people and then doing errands afterwards so I'll be back around four. Call if you need anything! Love, Mom,”
I cracked a smile reading it and headed towards the microwave. I pulled out a Boston Crème and slapped in on the plate, grabbing myself a napkin and pulling out the jug of milk. I poured myself a glass and put the milk away and walked out into the living room to enjoy my breakfast.

It was an overcast day and looked like it wasn't going to storm or at least rain any minute. It was cool and windy out, unusual for a summer day.

I took my phone out of the pocket in my sweatshirt, seeing I had four missed calls. Two from Nicole and two from Abby.
I closed my phone thinking it was probably not important and they were just waiting to yell at me for no reason at all. Never would it have occurred to the selfish person I am that maybe, just maybe, they wanted to apologize to me.
•••••••••••••
The door bell rang around 2:30 in the afternoon, and I heard a couple knocks following it. I double checked myself in the mirror, making sure I looked at least just a couple hundred times better than I did yesterday before opening the door and letting Nick, Joe, and Kevin in.
I was wearing a pair of dark skinny jeans, a white tank top and my blue sweatshirt with little green polka dots on it.
My hair was completely straight and I was wearing mascara, making my eye lashes twice as long as they already were. My eye liner was light and I slid on a pair of black flip flops from old navy, just to complete my outfit. I quickly applied lip gloss before throwing it and running downstairs to get the door.
“Hey!” I said in a much better mood, opening the door.
“Hey, Mace!” The guys said, walking in side. We stood in somewhat of a circle silent for a few seconds until Kevin finally spoke.
“Well, I guess this is it for a few weeks,” he said, opening his arms for a hug. I hugged him, tight.
I tried to fight back tears, I mean, it was only going to be a few weeks, right?

I moved on next to Joe, giving him a hug too.
“I'm gonna miss you guys so much,” I said, letting go and laughing about how ridiculous I probably looked to them.
“We're gonna miss you too. A lot,” they said with a heart warming smile, the three of them. Nick nodded and asked to speak to me alone for a second, so Kevin and Joe headed outside to the car.

“What is it?” I asked, following him out to the kitchen and lifting myself on the counter.
“Mace, you've really got to do something about the three of you,” he said. He was about to give up on us, nothing he did seemed to help and he was trying. He was honestly trying.

“Nick,” I sighed, looking away from him and out the window.
“Macy, I don't understand why you guys are in this huge fight, and I feel like I'm only making it worse,” he said, leaning against the counter.
“No, Nick, you're not,” I told him.
“Macy, they're really sorry about what they've done. Yesterday afternoon when you were walking in front of our house and then left, I was really upset. When I walked back out into the pool area, they confessed,” he told me.
“If they're so sorry, then why are you fighting their battle for them?” I asked, crossing my arms and speaking in a tone maybe a little more harsh than I intended.
“Because Macy, how many missed phone calls did you have yesterday?” he asked me.
I hesitated. “...four...”
“See? Macy, they were calling to apologize,”
“How do you know?”
“Because I was there with them, and if you gave them a chance and called them back, things might be okay,” he said, calming down a bit. But I was still fired up.
“Well, how was I supposed to know they weren't calling me to freak out on me?” I asked, giving him a look.
He shook his head. “Because you have to give them a chance. You can't hear someone if you don't listen,” he said, almost in a whisper.
“And that's supposed to mean...?” I said, hopping off the counter.
“If you keep ignoring them, you're never going to know what they were actually trying to say, or do, whatever, Mace. You can't fight with them for the rest of your life. You guys are best friends. You can't tell me that you never want to be friends with them again,” he said.
“Watch me,” I said. That crossed the line.
“Macy, I thought I liked you, and I liked who you were. But I've hate what you've become,” he said, shaking his head and turning around to head out the door.
“Yeah, well I thought I liked you,” I practically shouted. “And I was wrong!” I shouted again. “I DON'T LIKE YOU!”
The door slammed and he wasn't there.

“What have I done?” I asked myself, feeling my eyes sting and a tear sliding down my face. “What did I just do? What have I become? I'm a monster. I'm a horrible friend, and I'm pretty sure I just lost someone I loved,” I said before I stopped. I heard the car door slam. “That's it,” I said, breathing heavily. “I don't like him, I love him,” I said again. I had basically just gotten slapped across the face to figure out I loved him.

“Nick,” I said. I bolted towards the door and struggled to open it. I finally opened it as they were pulling out of the driveway. The car headed around the cul-de-sac, away from me.
“Wait,” I whispered. “Wait!”
I slammed the door behind me and ran down the driveway.
“Wait! NICK!” I yelled, going the opposite way around the cul-de-sac.
“NICK!” I yelled again before stopping. It was two late and I stood there, watching the black SUV drive down the street. I shook my head.
“I don't like you, Nick,” I said, tears flowing. “I love you,” I whispered.

I slowly walked back over the driveway, sitting on it. I buried my face in my knees. I knew he wasn't coming back.
Something stung my back and I lifted my head, seeing dots all over the driveway. It was raining and started raining harder and harder.

I sat there and put my hood over my head, my knees still up to my chest. I rocked myself back and forth a few times, still sobbing.

I was crying so hard I was practically hyperventilating, but I couldn't stop no matter how I tried.
I had just messed things up with so many people that were so important to me.

And unlike most days involving the Jonas Brothers, I just wanted this day to come to an end.