I sat on the driveway a little longer in the pouring rain until my mom finally came home. She pulled into the garage and stood in there, yelling to me.
“Macy, hon! What are you doing out here in the pouring rain?” she said. The one thing that was just great about my mom – she was always calm no matter what and that made it so much easier to talk to her.

I shook my head and stood up slowly. I was soaking wet and turned around, looking at her standing there. She watched me, my head still shaking.
“Mom,” I said quietly. Still standing on the driveway. “I messed up, big time.”
My cheeks were stained from my mascara. “Come here,” she beckoned.

I slowly made my way over to her, then stood in front of her. I looked up at her and wrapped my arms around her, crying on her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around me, rubbing my back while I continued to cry. She didn't care that I was soaking wet, she only cared that she could help me get through whatever it was, and make everything come out okay in the end.

“Why don't we go inside, and you go take a shower and put some sweats on and you'll feel better,” she said tucking a piece of my dirty blonde hair behind my ear. I nodded and walked over to the door.
•••••••••••••
“Don't you feel a little better now?” my mom asked when I came down after my shower. I was wearing my grey, baggy sweats with a an Ellsbury shirt. My hair was wet from my shower and pulled back in a messy bun.
“Physically, I can't honestly say emotionally,” I muttered, sitting down on one of the stools. The rain had stopped and I must admit, I was feeling a little better.
“I'll be right back,” I said, a couple seconds later and getting up from my seat.

All the thoughts running through my head, I was starting to get emotional again. I buried my face in my pillow, wanting to scream so bad. Scream in my pillow for a better tomorrow.
I continued to lay there for a couple minutes, not realizing the sun had come out.

I lifted my head off of my pillow and looked out the window.
When I looked out there, the three little girls were together again.
Amelia, Nora, and Melanie were there names. The three were my neighbors, all in different houses, and had such different personalities, yet were alike in so many ways. They were always together and did crazy things like make up games, put on plays, and do all the things that Nicole, Abby, and I used to do when we were little. Some days, when Abby and Nicole were over, we would sit on my driveway and watch them, and talk about how much the reminded us of ourselves when we were little.
Everyone agreed and said when they were older, they'd be just like us; before the fight.
Something else we found interesting among these girls, were their names. Their first names started with an A, N, or M...just like us.

I sat up to watch them, laughing like crazy and running all over the place. There were so many days that I said I wish I was four again, and not because I don't like my life. I love my life, just the past few days have been extremely rough, but because nothing mattered.

You could be who you wanted to be. You didn't have to worry about simple things and could be completely careless. You weren't picked on, there was no drama, and your biggest fear was the monster in your closet or the boogie man under your bed, or that a boy with cooties would pass them on. Life was so much easier when we believed boys had cooties. I cracked a smile thinking about that.
And also, there wasn't anything in the world stopping you. You got a little cranky once in a while, and that was the only thing abnormal in your life.

“I miss those days,” I said, squeezing my pillow harder. My eyes were automatically drawn to the picture in the white and blue frame on my nightstand. The picture that I had forgotten about all this time, that had been there throughout the whole fight. The picture of me and Abby about seven and a half years ago, in second grade on our first communion day. Our toothless smiles made me laugh. I stood up and walked over to the other pictures in my room. One from kindergarten at my old house nearly ten years ago. Abby and I on the playscape with the biggest smiles ever on our faces.
Or the pictures from field trips in fifth grade with Nicole.

I missed the old days.


When I looked back out the window three minutes later, I saw two teenage girls walking up the driveway.
“Abby? Nicole?” I asked quietly. I ran out of my room and downstairs. I walked over to the front door right as they reached it, and opened it.
They stood on the steps and I walked out, shutting the door gently behind me.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, in a soft tone. “I figured you hated me by now,”
“Macy, we never hated you,” Nicole started.
“We've hated what you had become,” Abby finished.
“Honestly,” I said, “I don't even know who I've been these last couple weeks,” I said quietly. “I can't believe the things I've done, or said,” I spoke, trying to shake the thoughts out of my head. “And I just want to start all over. I've missed you guys,” I said. A single tear fell from my face and landed on the cement below me. Nicole walked up the steps, standing on the porch with me. I looked up at her.

“Let's just forget about the past. What's been done has been done, what's been said has been, and it's time to move on,” she said, putting her arm around my neck.

“Everything happens for a reason, and maybe our friendship wasn't as strong as it was supposed to be, and now it is. If we can make up after two weeks of not talking to each other, then we can do anything as friends,” Abby said, stepping up and putting her hand around my neck. She did the same to Nicole, forming a circle.

“we're in a circle, and circles are never-ending,” I said quietly. I looked at the girls as we chuckled, letting go of each other and wiping the tears from ours eyes. It felt so much better, wiping tears of joy instead of tears of sorrow.

My friends were finally back. I was finally back. And there was only one other person who really mattered to me that needed to know.


“So, did Nick come over to say goodbye?” Abby asked as we sat together on my driveway. I sighed and nodded.
“Uh oh. That doesn't sound good,” Nicole said, drawing imaginary things on the driveway.
“It was a mess. I'm an idiot,” I told them. “I don't even know who I was until like, three minutes ago,” I sighed, leaning back.
“What happened?” Abby asked.
“Well, I basically flipped out on him, surprise. And then told him I didn't like him and three seconds after he left, I realized it was because I love him,” I said, laying down on the driveway and putting my hands on my head. Nicole and Abby were silent for a few seconds.
“Did they already leave yet?” Nicole asked as I propped myself back up. Abby nodded her head and studied the driveway before looking back up at me.
“Have you tried calling him yet?”
I shook my head. “No, it never really occurred to me, but I'm pretty sure he won't answer because I know he hates me,” I said, as I held my head up with my fist.

“Why don't you call trying him though. Maybe he will answer,” Nicole said. I sighed and grabbed my phone from my pocket and searching for Nick's number in my contacts. I found it and looked at it for a few seconds, hesitating. Abby finally pushed the green button for me and it started ringing.
He didn't answer and it went straight to voicemail.
“Call him again,” Nicole said. I went back to my contacts and found his number again, pressing send. Again, he didn't answer and it went straight to voicemail.

“Hold on, let me call him. Maybe he'll answer from my phone,” Abby said, pulling out her phone and dialing his number. She sat there for a couple seconds with her phone up to her ear before bringing it down and closing it. “Nothing,” she said.
“Try *67,” Nicole suggested.
Abby called again, this time letting it come up restricted. She sighed and shoved her phone back in her pocket.
“Sorry, Mace,” she said quietly. “I don't know what we're going to do.”

I sighed heavily. “Now I have to go the next four weeks feeling awful until I can see him again and...ugh” I complained, putting my hands over my face.
•••••••••••••
The Jonases were about to board they're private jet and make their way back to California for their first concert on Monday. They were leaving a few days early so they had plenty of time to prepare for their first show in a couple weeks.

“Nick, what's wrong hon?” Mrs. Jonas asked, noticing Nick looked a little down. He shook his head.
“Nothing,” he mumbled, but she knew something was up.
“Are you sure?” she asked again.
“Yeah,” he said quietly, avoiding eye contact with her. She just nodded her head and walked away.

Around seven o'clock, they were boarding their plane. Nick had been quiet throughout most of dinner which was unusual.
They're bags were already on board and they were leaving in half an hour. Nick sat down on one of the leather seats next to the window. He rested his head on his hand and continued to sit there until everyone was on.

Thoughts were running through his head like crazy. He wasn't sure that he was ready to go, but tried to forget everything.
About fifteen minutes later, he was still sitting there, studying the people as they became smaller and smaller and finally becoming unrecognizable.

He knew this might not be the right decision, but it was part of his job, something he had to do. Just hoping it didn't effect his playing.
••••••••••••••
“I don't know if I can wait another four weeks to wait for him to come back home,” I said, still sitting on the driveway with Nicole and Abby.
“We'll figure it out,” Nicole said, reassuringly. “He can't ignore all of our phone calls until they come back.”
“I'd call Kevin or Joe, but they're probably boarding right now or are up there already,” Abby said. I laid down on the driveway, my knees still bent.
“Why didn't we think of that before?” I asked, feeling pretty stupid.
“Who knows,” Abby said, laying down besides me. Nicole joined.

We laid there on the driveway while the sun slowly set, watching every airplane fly over us.
By the time the third one flew over us, there was a sharp pain in my heart, but at the same time a little feeling of relief. I hoped it would get better soon and I could feel that was going to happen.

If only I knew that very one was the one that Nick was on.