Proverbs 16:24

Sunday, November 16, 2008

  • I'm blessed...

    I got a new phone!!! And I LOVE it.  I got the Blackberry Pearl, the pink one.
    I feel extremely blessed.  I have a great job, with great people; I have an awesome apartment that is walking distance from both work and church; I have an amazing boyfriend that is unlike any other; I have an awesome family that I love dearly; and I am constantly being motivated spiritually to grow.

    A year ago I never thought this is where I would be.  God's timing is perfect.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

  • Currently Listening
    Volume One
    By She & Him
    see related

    Responsible to Praise

    We cannot always or even often control events, but we can control how we respond to them.. When things happen that dismay of appall, we ought to look to God for His meaning, remembering that He is not taken by surprise nor can his purposes be thwarted in the end. What God looks for is those who will worship Him. Our look of inquiring trust glorifies Him.
    One of the witnesses to the crucifixion was a military officer to whom the scene was surely not a novelty. He had seen plenty of criminals nailed up. But the response of this Man who hung there was of such an utterly different nature from that of the others, that the centurion knew at once that He was innocent. His own response then, rather than one of despair that such a terrible injustice should take place, or of anger at God, who might have prevented it, was "praise" (Luke 23:47).
    This is our first responsiblity: to glorify God. In the face of life's worst reversals and tragedies, the response of a faithful Christian is praise--not for the wrong itself certainly, but for who God is and for the ultimate assurance that there is a pattern being worked out for those who love Him.

    Elisabeth Elliot, A Lamp Unto My Feet



    My devotions today.
    I am always thankful that God gives me the words I need to hear so that I won't say the things I want to say--He is holding my tounge and I thank Him for that. I was reminded today in prayer meeting that one day we will be held accountable for every word we have spoken. Yikes!
    Our first reaction when we are wronged, faced with an ugly situation or when we deal with loss and heartache is typically to get mad, to feel hurt, and become defensive. What if God did that everytime we disobeyed Him, or grieved His Spirit, or chose our way over His Way? Unconditional love deserves our praise. Our actions should be glorifiying our Heavenly Father and that also includes our reactions.
    Most of the time we don't understand why we have to deal with complicated matters or unknown reasons. But, "I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:6). So no matter what comes up to stop you or hurt you or confuse you, you can move forward in faith and stand firm on His Word. And praise Him.


    But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. And we have confidence in the Lord concerning you, that you are doing and will continue to do what we command. And may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ.
    2 Thessalonians 3:3-5

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

  • Currently Reading
    The Shack
    By William P. Young
    see related

    The Shack

    Mack: "But don't you want us to set priorities?  You know: God first, then whatever, followed by whatever?"
    "The trouble with living by priorities," Sarayu spoke, "is that it sees everything as heirarchy, a pyramid, and you and I have already had that discussion.  If you put God at the top, what does that really mean and how much is enough?  How much time do you give me before you can go on about the rest of your day, the part that interests you so much more?"
    Papa again interrupted.  "You see, Mackenzie, I don't just want a piece of you and a piece of your life.  Even if you were able, which you are not, to give me the biggest piece, that is not what I want.  I want all of you and all of every part of you and your day."
    Jesus now spoke again.  "Mack, I don't want to be first among a list of values;  I want to be at the center of everything.  When I live in you, then together we can live through everything that happens to you.  Rather than a pyramid, I want to be the center of a mobile, where everything in your life--your friends, family, occupation, thoughts, activities--is connected to me but moves with the wind, in and out and back and forth, in an incredible dance of being."
    "And I," concluded Sarayu, "I am the wind."  She smiled and hugely bowed.

     

    Read this book.

     

     

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

  • Currently Watching
    The Eye [Blu-ray + Digital Copy] [Blu-ray]
    By Obba Babatunde, Danny Mora, Rade Serbedzija, Rachel Ticotin, Parker Posey
    see related

    THE EYE

    Johnny and I watched that movie last night---scared the crap out of me!  It was probably the only movie I've ever watched where I was on the edge of my seat the WHOLE TIME.  AND, I didn't expect the ending.   This is probably one of my new favorite scary movies.  Just thought I'd throw that out there.

    Trisha's leaving today for a road trip--she will be gone for a week.  It's good timing because I'm going to be very busy this week--lots of vacation stuff planned.  PLUS Natalie's coming into town today!!!  I'm only working two days this week, today and tomorrow and the rest of the week is going to be so awesome.

    This is the break I've been waiting for. lol

    In other news--we went to White Water yesterday in Atlanta.  We were wiped out on the way home...

    aaron and me  

Friday, June 27, 2008

  • wedding 009

    It happens quite often that people do not know we are sisters...they must not know our last names because Tullberg is not that common around here.  Just last night someone connected the dots and was shocked, "I would've never known you two were related."  Haha--well we are!!!  LOVE YOU SISTER!

Monday, June 02, 2008

  • The Dream: Part One

    Two nights ago I had a dream...

    I can often recall my dreams, but only every-so-often do I feel so impacted by them.  Two nights ago, I experienced something.  Not sure what it was exactly, but it was something!  I had a dream that once said aloud doesn't sound so magnificent, but if you could see it through my eyes, from inside my mind, you would probably be as awed as I am. 

    I was traveling with a crowd, people I knew but could not tell you their names.  We had a destination and we could all feel the burden and desire to reach it.   There was a sense of desperation in the crowd, an anxiety.  I found myself to be a leader, along with another: a young man my age, a friend.  We seemed to understand the tremendous task ahead of us (much like the feeling Frodo has in The Lord of the Rings Trilogy).  I never thought I would be relating my feelings to that of a hobbit.   For what it's worth, there was an understanding that this would be a dangerous journey; there could be pain, there could be loss, there would be blood.  No one spoke of the cost, but we all knew the possibilities.  We just knew
    We found ourselves in a world of white.  There were wintry, snowy gusts of air and ice all around, but never cold.  It looked like the artic, but I cannot recall ever feeling the chill.  As we traveled we crossed mountains and valleys, scaling large walls of rock and jumping deep crevices.  There was never any fear, never a thought of fright.  We only felt commitment.  There was no other option but to go forward; it must be done.   We were not responding as robots, pre-programmed to behave a certain way: “resistance in futile.”  But instead we felt the inner pull to something.  We had been asked to go, we had been commissioned.  At that time I didn’t know why, but this is only the beginning. 
    I almost feel as if this pack of people I was traveling with were orphans.  We felt as though we were all that was left and maybe our destination held the answers to our emptiness.  Perhaps that was our drive.  At this point we had approached an obstacle.  We had come upon a giant pyramid type structure.  There were thousands and thousands of individual blocks making up this titanic monument, each with a symbol on it.  I couldn’t read the symbols and no one recognized them as part of our language.  Not knowing what was to come, we decided that we, myself and my counterpart leader, should investigate further alone, leaving the throng behind to await the news of how to continue.  There was such a draw to this pyramid, a need to discover its meaning, and it was at this time we felt our first twinge of fear. 
    Sometimes when you are presented with something that is brand new, fear tags along to whisper in your ear.  Why do we fear the unknown?  It could bring great things—or it could destroy great things.   You won’t know until you take the time to check it out.
    We scaled the steps, climbing for what seemed like forever, the higher we climbed, the frostier we felt.  It was so strange that this structure could bring with it all the feeling we had been missing along our journey.  There had been no words spoken up to this point.  We had all just known what was next, but at this point my friend turned to me and said, “I think there will be blood.”  Morbid and unexpected.  I nodded in return.  I knew it too. We were looking for the path, waiting to see where it would continue and how this pyramid fit into our journey.  We reached the top and climbed up onto a flat surface.  The space was large enough to host our entire group.  As soon as our feet were planted on the summit, the strangest thing happened.  There was a low rumble and all the thousands of symbols screamed with light.  The rays burst out through each individual shape and then an altar began to rise up from the center of the flat surface.  Blocks from the belly of the pyramid formed some sort of giant block and on top was a sheet of paper.  At this point we could hear the crowd below us as the rumble had startled us all.  Now they were starting to climb to see for themselves.  As the pyramid had shifted we noticed it had shown us our path and my friend was right: there would be blood.  Across the valley was a wall of snow, a road was carved out leading to it, and blood had been spilled over the wall.  Everything around us was white but the crimson stains in the snow.  We knew that we were supposed to somehow climb that wall of snow and that it was the only to reach our destination. 
    As the calls of the crowd grew louder, my attention was drawn back to the paper on top of the table.  We approached it and saw that the writing was English and I saw it was written to me as my name was there in bold.  At the same time my friend saw his name, just where I saw my name to be.  As we began to read the letter we both read from the same paper, but the message was particular to the reader.  It was specific and personal and filled with information about each of our lives, as if a close friend had written it.  It then told about our future, the relationships we were to have, the experiences that were yet to come.  It encouraged us to finish the journey because the prize at the end would be great.  It was as if God Himself placed that paper there with all the intimate details of my heart written in my language for my eyes only.  No one else saw what I saw.  They all saw their own story.  We passed the paper around, reveling in the unique message everyone receive by reading their words.  We knew that we were standing on a very special place.  It was like a mountain in Heaven—the Spirit of God was there, we could feel His presence.  As the last person read the paper, the lights faded out of the symbols and it was time to continue.  We saw the path, bloody as it may be and felt our determination returning to us, but fear didn’t leave.  The people were looking to me and my friend as the leaders of the group.  We moved on.
    We began our descent to the bottom of the pyramid, carefully making our way down the steep steps.  The road was carved out of snow and as we reached the snowy wall, we saw that it was actually a solid sheet of ice and we had no way to climb it.  The air had turned cold, we now felt it all and so with our bare hands and feet we began to climb.  We soon learned where the blood had come from previously, as we were not the first to take this path.  With each placement of our hands and feet the ice would stick to our skin, but we had to keep climbing.  Before long we were leaving our own bloody trail, but we knew that over this wall would bring us our reward.  Once the last had reached the top we all turned to see what lay on the other side. 

    It was at this point I woke up, completely on my own….no alarm, no phone call, no thing woke me, but I found myself suddenly wide awake.  I haven’t figured out what was on the other side and was hoping that last night I would have picked it back up where I left off.  To my disappointment it didn’t.  I’m sure that there is more to come because if this had been your dream and you felt when I felt, you would be sure of it too.  I’m not usually into the idea of messages through your dreams, but something about the whole thing left me with a feeling of purpose.  Something I couldn’t shake all day.  It was Sunday, and we sang a song in choir that took my breath away: “When We See the Lamb” with, “Hallelujah.”   I felt like I was just about lifted off the ground when we sang that song and all I could think about was the dream…

Monday, May 05, 2008

  • From one extreme...

    I am devastated yet elated.  I am exhausted yet excited.  I am both....at the same time...

    My friends are graduating.  And then leaving.  Devastated. 
    Some of my dear friends are going to be here this weekend for graduation.  Elated!

    I can hardly keep my eyes open.  I am literally drained and crave sleep.  Exhausted.
    I could be in my new apartment in a matter of weeks.  Excited!

    Those are 4 very difficult emotions/feelings to juggle.  Currently I am coping with Devastated and Exhausted, but I can feel a little Excited moving in.  I'm about to have to throw Confusion into the whole mix.  Devastated is also working hand in hand with Sentimental.  I watched the video Hilary made for me for my 21st bday yesterday.  "I laughed, I cried. It moved me Bob."

    Unless I'm sleeping, I'm a mess.
    Growing up is so awesome, but so hard.

Friday, April 25, 2008

  • Zero Faith

    "I had zero faith," a young woman said to me yesterday.  "I believed in nothing at all.  I wished I could, but it just wasn't there.  I began praying, without faith, that God would help me to believe.  He did.  I know He answers that kind of prayer."
    This young woman is a conscientious wife and mother, a faithful church member and a growing Christian.  Her life witnesses to the answer to her prayer.  She started with nothing.
    Sometimes we start with a small measure of faith, like tha to fthe distraught father who asked Jesus for the healing of his son.  "I have faith," he said, and then, aware that it was not enough to support the weight of the thing he was asking, petitioned, "Help me where faith falls short" (Mark 9:24).
    Unbelief is a stronghold of such spiritual power that only mighty spiritual weapons can storm it.  We have those weapons--"not merely human, but divinely potent to demolish strongholds" (2 Cor. 10:4).  Prayer is one of them.  Must we be experts in its use?  The young woman's testimony shows that we need not.  We must only come, aware that our faith is not enough, aware that the Lord Himself waits to help us if only we ask.
    Satan trembles when he sees
    The weakest saint upon his knees.

    Elisabeth Elliot, A Lamp Unto My Feet

     

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

  • Currently Reading
    Thr3e
    By Ted Dekker
    see related

    LIFE

    I just finished a yummy bowl of LIFE cereal which made me start to think about life...haha, go figure.

    As I sat down to my computer the other night I used an index card as a coaster for my drink.  I just pulled it out of a pile and didn't know it had writing on it...when I was taking my glass downstairs I flipped the card over, where I noticed that there is a verse written on it:

    Psalm 38:9-10, 15
    Lord, all my desire is before Thee; and my sighing is not hidden from Thee.  My heart throbs, my strength fails me; and the light of my eyes, even that has gone from me.  For I hope in Thee, O Lord; Thou wilt answer, O Lord my God.

    I had probably written that verse several months ago. When I read it that night, I had had a day that was totally described through the words in that verse. My sighing was not hidden. My heart throbbed...my strength failed.  I was doing my best to pretend that there was light in my eyes, but even that had gone from me.  I was feeling very vulnerable, very lonely, very frustrated, and very weary.
    I've been struggling a lot lately with self-assurance.  Kinda like looking at your future and wondering if it's ever going to get here...well, it's coming and now I have to face it.  No, that makes it sound like I'm not excited about it, and I am.  I guess it's more like I have to deal with that fact that the decisions I've made in my life up to this point have made me who I am and they have shaped what options I have available now.  They also have molded my opinions of myself.  Do you ever think about the opinions you have of yourself? You're the only one who really knows you, honestly knows you...so unless you have some way to hide the truth from yourself, the opinions you've formed of yourself can be quite weighted.

    No one ever hopes that someday they'll look at themselves in the mirror and say, "Wow, I really don't like what I've become."  Nope...no one wants that.
    Thankfully, I don't think that about myself, but there are days when I do say things like, "If only I had thought of that before," or "If I had only done that differently."   But then again, doesn't everybody think that at some point?

    I have done things I'm not proud of, handled situations inappropriately, hurt people, hurt myself, made bad choices, and I'm only 23. 
    I have also done things I'm very proud of, handled situations properly, helped people, helped myself, made some great choices, and I'm only 23.

    "For I hope in Thee, O Lord; Thou wilt answer, O Lord my God."

     

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

ohsoblueyes

  • Visit ohsoblueyes's Xanga Site
    • Name: Renee
    • State: Tennessee
    • Birthday: 2/27/1985
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 5/11/2004

About Me

  • I work at the Women's Care Center in Dayton as the Education Assistant. I love spending quality time with people I love, huge bear hugs, I'm fiercely protective of my family, and I'm a very loyal friend.

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