hai guise. wuts going on heaer? be sure 2 check out episode 1 of the hot new tv show "Joo King of Norwich" starring our very own thomarse maxwell.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=LRckdso2H6c

nao. dis is serious cat for serious topics an threads.

recently alot of stuff has been reminding me of oz an the gap year. it was epics. even stupid stuff like showering. (cz i jus bought the same shower gel as the one i used over there so when i smell it i get all reminded and stuff) and stuff like scrubs too, cos i had the dvds of scrubs with me so i watched them tonnes. like that song overkill thats on that 1 episode always reminds me. (scrubs btw is genioos. well the first couple of seasons anyway, now its kinda shark jumping and draggy etc.)

but anyway, i never thought so at the time, but my gap year was just amazing. it was alot of hard work sometimes, and i doubt i'll ever do as hard a day as the container day, which was like goin to the gym 100times in 1 day. but hard work aside it was a real experience. character building blabla and all that.

if i tihnk about it now, i miss alot of things. like the ultimate freedom of it. it was near on a whole year of doing absolutley whatever i wanted, money permitting. i could have gone to the moon if id wanted to. thers alot of freedom at uni too, but its not the same. i sorta have to go to lectures etc.

and i miss the backpacking culture. you make a different kind of friend when backpacking. in a way its sorta like self inflicted torture. and cos your all doing it you relate to each other. butwhilst your doing it its so much hassle. not even living out of a suitcase but a rucksack. all your clothes come out creased. it takes like 20mins to find what you want. weighs a tonne aswell. you have to pay for driers and washing machines and washing powder. you traipse around from town to town. find the cheapest hostel. try not to lose the key. find the supermarket. buy noodles. cook noodles. try find space in the fridge. eat noodles. watch tv. play table tennis. drink goon. make friends. work? watch dvds. play poker. splash out on bbq and BRANDED BEER. regret. work. work. work. fired. pick fruit. relocate? 10hr bus ride. find work. find hostel. find friends. repeat. squeeze in a few trips to the beach. some hostel football.

thats the life eh. an then there was the few weeks me an these 2 lads rented a house. they wer good times too. haha. i could type for days about my gap year. if i cracked my head open it would be gapyear memories spilling out and not blood.

maybe il go back after uni. i dunno if it'l be the same though.

Uni life is lol.

so i've been at loughborough now for just about a month..

out of 24 lectures in this period (6 a week) i have attended a grand total of 14.

because:

"i am too distracted with the ressurection of DotA. blueserver is gone. but garena is here. and it is one mans fault that i am once again immersed in ownage and double kills."

the culprit?

luckyk.

yes we all have experienced the horror of having luckyk in our team.

it is his fault that DotA is making a comeback. and it is already having repercusions back in KL with dernumx now a regular on the DotA scene once again. there are even rummors that chuckdollar may soon grace us with his rather n00bish presence too. he was once pro, similar to dernum, but as with muscles, atrophy can occur when you dont work out for too long, and theyre dota skills have been recently reffered to as "kit-ish". indeed dernumx was heard crying over the skype as he was called a "kitperry" by none other than clementchew after donating first blood.

DotA is the bane of our existence. well it is when you take it the level of dernum and i. which means playing for 10hr periods at increasingly odd hours, due to the time difference between kl an uk more than anything.

DotA famously claimed the scalp of chuckdollars iGCSE grades back in `05 as bluserver and DotA came to possess his soul and very being. he played and played and was regarded as "pro". but as a sacrifice he never went to school and failed alot.

now he has moved onto foosball. where he is also reportedly "pro". and it looks as if DotA might be back on the menu now for chuck which could mean that its about to claim another scalp, his foosball powers.

more recently DotA claimed the scalp of dernumx's love life, reportedly causing him to miss several dates with his new trophy gf b'cos he was too tired frm late night ownage sessions. she is now apparently preparing "the german treatment" as a punsihment for him. dernum, we wish u all the best.

hopefully it still works afterwards..

an even now, DotA could be claiming yet another scalp.. the sociology career and uni grades of rusty (AKA rustaldo)

in other news:

• anonymous was banned from both 4chan and 7chan as he persued sexy-lena pictures
• dutchy deregt officially getting married to fiolalee
• thomarsemcblondeson officially: 2juw2btru
• luckyk on verge of suicide after fluid mechanics proves "very gay/johan"
• officerpongping arrest man for racial slur
• rempit lord diagnosed with career threating osgood schaltters disease
• rustaldo admits ebay addiction.
• teh anjing admits emodepression from "hot calie girl"

dancing ona friday nite..

hai guys. this ones from awhile ago too..

Friday 12th Septmeber 2008

so its friday night and i can't sleep. i've spent the day travelling across britain, from one pair of grandparents to another. anglesey to morecambe fyi. and as so often happens on long boring tedious coach/train/plane journeys, the mind of the young rust wanders. normally i would distract thyself with a good book. but i'm re-reading lordoftherings atm and as you might imagine its not as easy to roll up and cram in your rucksack as an empire or fhm. so i left it in windywales, another addition to the bonfire-pile of crap i'm lugging to uni.

i'm pretty pissed off that i did that now. hindsights a bitch. even though i know what happens by heart from watching the movies waaay too many times its still exciting. and its kept me company on the bog for the last few weeks.

i actually feel like i've lost a friend. this is how they would've felt in blackhawkdown if they hadn't shot that cow and got everyone out.

but anyway, with no book and my mp3 finally on its last legs and refusing to play any movie except hotfuzz i was left to try and sleep. and this is my problem. whenever i want to sleep these days my head decides its time to buzz with anti-sleep. its possibly the result of sleeping in till 2pm most days an fuckingup my sleeping pattern. which might also be linked to latenight DotA-ing with kolohn. cutting the grass is about as active as my days get. aside from occasionally emptying the dishwasher. i did go for a walk one time and it was super windy and serious there was a sandstorm. (vidcomingsoon!). anyway. on the train today i was being nostalgic. which is happening more and more these days.

i know you guys get lost in your own heads too. and you probably like it all the same as me. just taking 5minutes out of your day to float back through your memories and find the bestari trip you were looking for. shocking how much you can remember when you really think about it. i must have been to bestari/devis/safiz like..no exaggeration a 100 times. and now all those makans have blended into 1big mushy memory. like an artists palette where all the paint has run together. there are those trips after school, during school, free periods..times when there'd be like 20of us there after clubbing. sometimes on the weekends..there was a phase as well where jo, menz an i would religously go every evening for an hour or so..just to chat and make fun of each other

some memories stand out more than others. like there was this one time with KDH and menz maybe jo and ver too i cant really recall and KDH was telling us abt this girl that he used to like and how he was gonna go out with her etcetc but then they went to 1u one day and he changed his mind..why oh why mr KDH? "cuz she got radar-ears like mattng and nigger-lips like alang"..and then there was that time with zim jo menz ver etc pretty much everyone was there an the verbal jousting and abuse was flying round an involved: vers dad standing on the roof of his house sending smoke signals with armpit smell to ver to go do his shift in bestari..oh no wait, spray deo to erase, your shifts at safiz..

but obviously zims dad stands on the roof of his house too and does the same thing with a motorbike..

as its friday though i was thinking about fridays, and how my idea of a perfect beautiful friday has changed..

if i think back really far to like primary school days in the uk i was just happy to not have to go to school for 2 days. i'd probably have a footy match over the weekend but this was when i was a goalie and the football bug hadn't bit me. i honestly didn't care. i wouldn't have known tbh. i would have rather stay home and play goldeneye on the n64.

now though its completely different. if there are no EPL games on over the weekend then i really do feel alittle empty. i practically look forward to them all week. and not just the manutd game. i wouldn't miss an arsenal chelsea or liverpool chelsea clash. thats whats keeping me up tonight. the prospect of united liverpool tomorrow. i changed grandparents a day early just so i could go down the pub with my grandad and watch it.

sadly anglesey has a lack of pubs near to my other grandparents and seeing as they don't have all the skysports channels there was only one option. cos i wouldn't miss manutd liverpool for the world.

actually no, thats a gay cliche. ok er, i wouldn't miss manutd liverpool for a chance to relive 6th form.

(which incidently might not be true cos i'd really love to do SEASAC again, and all the football tourneys really)

i just can't wait for berba to rattle one in on his debut so i can grab the phone call thomas and scream at him.

i mean its only natural. even kit grabs the phone and screams when portsmouth score against manutd. and he doesnt know shit abt football.

stop supressing your natural instincts and grab the phone to call a liverpoo fan and scream when united win tomorrow!

back to fridays though..there was a phase where friday meant heritage. and more often than not maison. like mamaks throughout kl i've got a big mess of a memory of trips to maison too. loft cynna space etc. these are a little harder to remember though..booze is bad for memory. guess its true.

and then of course during secondry school there was the great CC phase. i like to think i was a pioneer of this event.

one of the first few mystical heros to emerge from school on a scorching friday afternoon, eyes squinted against the sun, and trudge across the roads and through hartamas not to get to VA ..but to get to surfnet..

the journey was long and arduous and we were all sweat sodden by the time we arrived. ah aircon bliss. and obviously jhin had booked the VIP room :)

sometimes we'd get a lift there in his limos too. front seat of course occupied by his "aunty/maid/bodyguard" who would turn up later demanding "mana din song?"

this was before montkiara/hartamas and the area around gis was quite so developed..before that sewege thing was there..we knew all the shortcuts and that etc etc. we were like the fellowship taking the ring to mordor every single friday.

i would rank huzair, jhin, andre and michael jonny johnson alongside myself as the other members of this fellowship. and now that little clan is effectivley deceased. such a shame. we had such high hopes for our CS clan. sigh. those were the days though. nothing more serious than hw to worry about. just us and a few others that we recruited to come along with us. shen sean shen. thomas. simon baru. (the sound of "heal me thomas heal me!!" being screamed indistinctly by a gang of teenage boys with unbroken voices still rings in my ears today)

and once surfnet finally died (it put up a good fight, i mean we werent gonna ditch it ina hurry the hotdogs wer imba but they had ball mice ffs!) we made the pilgrimage to VA. holiest of all holy CCs. and then when you mention VA you of course have to introduce two of the most influential gamers in history. the Au brothers. meng once told a drama teacher he was coughing up blood and had to go to hospital and was therefore unable to attentd rehearsal so he could go to va.

and of course. the arrival of DotA, who's introduction to GIS i will credit to zim and james (f4nt0m and er zim0). the perfect friday.

and how can you mention DotA without introducing two more of the most influential gamers in history. if the Au brothers revolutionised DotA for all the right reasons and brought us techinques such as the last hit and how to maphack like a bitch then the perry brothers revolutionised DotA in exactly the opposite way.

never have 2 people caused so much stress to so many. thomas is possibly their only rival. even today and most recently on operation cromer jack fed and caused my heart to bleed. the perry brothers must though be credited for their work and research in the placement of sentry wards. which helped us to kill War'Ds bone clinkz in a clan match (something never before done with a perry in the team). this is the real War`D btw and not kolohn who is infact a pseduo War'D and sarks. however there was of course the stomp-blink affair which cost us the game and countless dropped rapiers etcetc. so overall kit and jack = n00b*infinity

finally, in those final few terms of year11 there was the EMAL meetings at edo pretty much everyday. its a shame vineet and eddy never learned how to DotA. we would have made ahell of a clan. but ohwell. we all have our strengths. vince was good at gaming and would puke after a sip of long islandtea. vineet sucked at gaming and wouldnt puke after 3 jugs of long islandtea. funtimes. anything from daring kit to eat wasabi to going swimming after pe is a cherished memory.

but yes. people have moved on. the times have changed. fridays have changed. and for the first time in my life, i don't have a reason to look forward to my fridays. they are just like all the other days of the week. wake up. eat. dota. movies. eat. dota. dota. dota. sleep. repeat. im seriously getting some dejavu of years 10/11 when half our year would be playing blueserver late into the night..this is what isolation at your grandparents can do to you. i'm sure it'll all change at uni though

girls:boys is 3:1 at loughborough :)

lol. and now that i'm actually AT uni, the ratio is in fact,, FACT. i've not had any lectures yet but i had this intro thing and i swear theres like 30+girls and maybe less than 10guys.. :)

i'm sure its not like that in the engineering subjects so don't worry abt changing menz/kit/colon/anyone. . .

an my timetable is an imbazaurus rex man, no lectures on monday+tuesday = 4 day wekend! kekek >.<

gtg sleep nows. been dotaing nonstop since i got here pretty much..luls

rust on old ppl

hai guys, wrote this one awhile ago whilst stranded w/o internets.
i'm now safely at loughborough uni with shockingly imba internet speed an will be DotA-ing until further notice.

oh btw, i smsed the klitoris just now and got the rspsons "Midshipman Perry is currently on duty"

now that means that either kit set up some auto reply thingy, which is highly doubtful cos hes a dog and n00b at phones or thers some jobless dog guarding his phone and replying pplz.

IDIFTL

Saturday 13th September 2008

before i get into things, i must introduce you to kit perry's first child :

this man is the result of kits relationship with either yesul or soraya. or maybe both. we can't be sure who cos kit won't tell us. but basically, liverpool fans should be shaking kit by the hand and adding him to their xmas card lists. if not for another of Calamity Edwins mistakes i'm confident we would've at least left anfield with a point. i have to say that a point is the most we deserved though. up to the liverpoo goal we were playing well and conceding clearly dented our confidence and increased liverpoos. has to be said though that in truth we didn't play well. and vidic getting a red only made things worse cos now he'll miss the chelski game. fingers crossed that terry will miss it too but i think if they appeal his red it might be overturned..

so i'm at my grandparents in morcambe atm, and as planned i woke up earlier than i've ever done in the last few weeks an went down the pub around midday to get good seats. was packed with united fans, just a couple of scousers who had to be happy with big grins as any extravagant celebration would have definatley got them into trouble.

after the game i went back to my grandparents house. they live in like this kinda old-folks home. except its nothing like the ones you see on tv in the simpsons or in movies. on tv they kinda look like psychwards an institutes, except they don't make you wear those patient gowns. there are still nurses and pills handed out so its kinda the same, but their place is nothing like the stereotype. its like a caravan park except instead of caravans there are these really small houses. no upper floors and they're only slightly larger than caravans. there are about 20 of them, all spaced out by small roads that wind around them (5mph speed limit) and all enclosed by a big brick wall. its like their own little society. like their own little planet even. only people over 60 are allowed to live there.

so i get back and there's a note on the door saying: at mary's.

and the doors locked

mary's this friend of my grandma whos like 100 over and lives a few houses away. so i walk over there, down the small roads, taking care not to walk faster than 5mph, taking care not to tread in any of the neatly manicured flower beds. old people love their gardens. all the houses in their little estate are all well kept and clean. fresh paint of coat. nomes and other ornaments peeking out from behind bushes and hedges. if you've epilepsy then don't go at xmas. the places is like a homage to close encounters. i get to mary's house which has a little plaque outside bearing the house name : the snug. insde mary and grandma are doing those cross stitch things. they're both doing the exact same one which they find hilarious and my grandads asleep in a chair. i've never met mary before so i get the introduction as the oldest and wisest first grandson. heir to the throne etc etc. then i get the barrage of questions, where i'm going to uni, what i'm doing at uni, what i'm doing after uni.

then there's a pause to do some more cross-stitching thingy.

then it continues.

how was australia? your going to spain? with who?

more cross stitching.

more questions. more questions. etc etc. and this continues untill there really is nothing left to ask me about. they've covered everything. even sensitive stuff i don't really want to get into. do tom/jen call you much? why did you change to sociology? any girlfriends?

and in around 10minutes mary's upto date and knows me better than half my phonebook.

more cross stitch. grandads awake and they have their old peoples council.

grandad tells the story about the phantom phone. and how whenever there's a thunderstorm his telephone rings incesently. he answers it and there's nobody there. just static. he puts the phone down. it rings. it rings. it rings. he answers. static. hangsup. it rings. it rings. it rings. repeat.

he finally unplugs the phone and leaves it to have dinner and watch the bill.

comes back an hour or so later and plugs the phone back in. no ringing. goes to bed sometime later and around 1am the phone starts ringing again.

it rings. it rings. it rings. he answers. static. hangsup. it rings. it rings. it rings. repeat.

around 1.30 he unplugs it again.

hasn't plugged it back in since i dare say.

***

old people do have more of a sense of humor i find. like today i was told:

"you probably can't imagine being so old matthew. you've only got another 65 years to wait though..it feels just the same as ever, except some of your parts don't work quite as well.. and you can get away with being alot cheekier"

eg: my grandad and his friend dougie go fishing once a week or so. (tom and i call like to stereotype dougie as the old wise fisherman, like that guy in the simpsons) my grandma always refers to them as old codgers who play too much dominos. but anyway, they go fishing and go down the pub, and sometimes when my grandad borrows money from dougie he pays him back later in 1euro coins cos they look the same and weigh the same, and cos dougie doesn't have great eyesight and trusts my grandad he pockets them without a thought.

its all in good humor though. he tells him later and they have a laugh about it an pays him back proper.

and they joke alot about death and stuff. which i always think is in rather bad taste, cos after all if you're the one that dies its the other people that suffer. i'm just about to finish House season 4 and in one episode House's friend Wilson says:

"dying is easy its living thats hard"

but that can't be 100% true, cos nobody knows what dying is really like.

it just annoys me sometimes, like when my grandparents went to bed to leave me watching MotD i said:

"night night. see you in the morning"

to which i got the response:

"yes we'll see you in the morning .. all being well"

and they joke alot about it being a contest among the residents of their estate. like they MUST die in order. mary says she's got plenty of time left cos there're two more "scheduled" before her. apparently they go to alot of funerals. its the highlight of their week/month. cos most don't leave the estate for anything less. they only leave their houses to tend their gardens and see their friends.

***

i've seen quite a few old peoples living rooms, and mary's is no different. there are certain things that are always the same. there are photos. on the walls, on the mantlepiece, on windowsills etc etc. and they're of their children and their grandchildren and their nephews and nieces etc etc. and the furniture is always wooden. like old wood. antique kinda stuff.

no ikea here.

there's always a rug on the floor too. more often than not there's a cat or a dog. mary doesn't have a pet though, unless you count a pretty big spider who "lives" behind a photoframe high up on the wall. there's always a clock too. and not just a little digital clock. its one of these big old noisy clocks with a pendulum that you can hear tick-tocking from the next room. tick tock tick tock. a constant reminder of their time slipping away. my grandad calls this place "god's waiting ground"

GOOD - GAME

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