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Name: Amanda
Birthday: 7/11/1994
Gender: Female


Interests: Reading, listening to music, quotes, hanging out with friends, watching movies
Occupation: School! =o


Message: message me
AIM: mandaa bo bandax


Member Since: 4/23/2008

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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Wow, I'm an absolutely horrible updated. Summer vacation started and I'm completely bored out of my mind. I'll post a long update this week, promisepromisepromise.


Thursday, June 12, 2008

oh mai, what a short update. =x
i need to try to go deep instead of depressing next time. but this was a comfort, making this. : )

z111416480

Theres a switch that gets hit, and it all stops making sense.
And in the middle of drinks, maybe the fifth or the sixth,
I'm completely alone at a table of friends.
And I feel nothing, I feel a terrible nothing.

z148182836

i miss the girl i used to be,
i do not recognize who this is.
with my smudged mascara, wild eyes.
what is happening to me?

z100648262

This is my one and only life, and it is a great
and terrible and short and endless thing,
and none of us come out of it alive

z134579357

i dont want to start thinking again.
not like i have this last week.
i can't think again. not ever again.
i don't know if you've ever felt like that.
that you wanted to sleep for a thousand years.
or just not exist. or just not be aware that you do exist.
or something like that. i think wanting that is very morbid,
but i want it when i get like this.
that's why i'm trying not to think.
i just want it all to stop spinning.
[[perks, bby]

z131468796

im trying to breathe but i fear its getting harder.
i need your hand like i need the shake to wake me up.
please wake me up.
this holds me like a death grip.
what happens when words are not enough?

z53897900

Time takes it all. Whether you want it
to or not, time takes it all away, time bares it away. And in
the end, there is only darkness.
Sometimes we find others in that darkness,
and sometimes we lose them there again.

z135255080

we dont need anyone else.
who are they kidding?
you make me shine brighter than i have ever imagined.

z121748619
[[love you dearr]]

credits:
smile__quotes
n0elle1313


Sunday, June 08, 2008

otays, late update, yet again. sorrysorrysorry x] but i did get comments before, so here yah go, loves

plenty of summer days
i can see the angels flying high
i can see flowers growing all the time

it's really a wonder that i haven't dropped all my ideals because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. yet, i keep them, because in spite of everything, i still believe that people are really good at heart. i simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. i see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness. i hear the ever-approaching thunder, which will destroy us too, i can feel the sufferings of millions and yet, if i look up into the heavens, i think that it will all come right, and the cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.
-anne frank

i don't know what's wrong with me
it's like all i can do is keep writing this gibberish to keep from breaking apart
[['nother perks : )]]

entropy is the tendency of everything to move toward confusion and disorder as time passes. no matter how perfect the thing, the moment it's created, it begings to be destroyed. why is that so hard to learn? because i hate that it's true.

and even though i'm alone
for what it's worth,
you're somewhere here on this earth

reality escapes her
she says love is for fools that fall behind
and i'm somewhere in between
never really know a killer from a savior
'til i break at the bend.

what you feel is what you are
and what you are is beautiful

nothing's so loud as hearing when we lie
the truth is never kind
and you've said neither am i

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Wednesday, June 04, 2008

in a perks of being a wallflower mood. here are quotes from it. i advice you to read it.

not everyone has a sob story, charlie, and
even if they do, it's no excuse

...and in that moment, i swear, we were infinite.

i walked over to the hill whee we used to go and sled. there were a lot of little kids there. i watched them flying. doing jumps and having races. and i thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. and all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. and they will all kiss someone someday. but for now, sledding is enough. i think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't.

every else is either asleep or having sex.
i've been watching cable television and eating jello

everything can't be self-esteem, can it?

i just need to know that someone out there listens and understands
and doesn't try to sleep with people, even if they could have
i need to know that these people exist

things change. and friends leave. and life doesn't stop for anybody.

i would die for you. but i won't live for you.

she was sad, though.
but it was a hopeful kind of sad.
the kind of sad that just takes time.

please, believe that things are good with me,
and even when they'renot,
they will be soon enough

sam and patrick looked at me. and i looked at them.
and i think they knew. nothing anything specific really.
they just knew. and i think that's all you can ever ask from a friend.

here's a poem from it:

once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
and he called it "chops"
because that was the name of his dog
and that's what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
and his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
that was the year that father tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
and he let them sing on the bus
and his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
and his mother and father kissed a lot
and the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a rows of x's
and he had to ask his father was the x's meant
and his father always tucked him in bed at night
and was always there to do it

once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
and he called it "autumn"
because that was the name of the season
and that's what it was all about
and his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
and the kids told hi,
that father tracy smoked cigars
and left butts on the pews
and sometimes they would burn holes
that was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
and the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see santa claus
and the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
and his father never tucked him in bed at night
and his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it

once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
and he called it "innocence: a question"
because that was the question about his girl
and that's what it was all about
and his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
and his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
that was the year that father tracy died
and how he forgot the end
of the apostle's creed went
and he caught his sister making out on the back porch
and his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
and the girl around the corner
wore too much make uo
that made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyways
because that was the thing to do
and at three a.m. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly

that's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
and he called it "absolutely nothing"
because that's what it was really all about
and he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
and he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen

credits:
stephen chbosky!
for writing this amazing book


=[ not in a good mood, meaning i'll update later today



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