| Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart.
Questions of science, science and progress
Don't speak as loud as my heart.
Tell me you love me, and come back and haunt me,
Oh, when I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
coming back as we are.
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy.
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start |
| |
| ok.......so we have a little system now.
we'll see.
|
| |
| my thought process is like what happens on mushrooms....i keep thinking the exact same sentences in the same god damn row and it just keeps going in a constant circle. "im so sad" is pretty much the top dog of them all though...thats all i keep saying to myself,out loud, to my friends, to him, to my family........i know i should keep myself occupied and go do fun stuff but me and zach did everything together..and thats more then a mile away from being an exaggeration......everything i like to do that i could escape from stuff....ive done with him like a trillion times. im so sad.
i cant fucking walk my dogs without crying, i cant fucking shower without crying, i cant go to sleep without crying, i cant look at the clouds without crying i cant even put on my clothes without crying becuz i know his opinion about everything i own, i cant wear my favorite dresses without crying becuz they we his too
i cant get smashed becuz its just going to magnify all of my terrible sad feelings and ill drunk dial him and if he doesnt answer ill cry more and more and if he does answer ill cry TO HIM which really doesn't make somebody miss you and after he hangs up ill cry more...its just a no brainer...dont get drunk becuz those things will happen (even though thats all i wanna do and i prally will still do that even though know the terrible outcome) ........i guess the only thing i really can do is get ultra- cant -even -think -straight blazed. your never emotional when you smoke...maybe just still depressed but thats better then crying my eyeballs out and thinking and thinking and thinking and crying and crying. even though he was my favorite person to smoke with.ever. blue river road baby.
like i said...i cant DO ANYTHING without crying becuz we've shared each others every single little tedious,deep,silly,loving, angry, stressed,happy,wants and 'expectations in life' thoughts and past times and favorite things to do and thats what my life has evolved around. i cant fucking do anything to escape thinking of him. he's my very very very best friend. he was my partner in crime and in life. he's who i relaxed with, went and saw a movie i really wanted to see with, went to do something really fun with. EVERYTHING with.
i'm so sad.
i'm not doing this again for a long time. i've had two really really really broken hearts already and i'm 19. relationships just are'nt my thing i suppose . i just love people too easy...no not too easy. just when i love....i REALLY love. thats stinky. no more boyfriends for hannah for a good two years.
im so sad.
|
| |
| confession:
i use xanga to vent feelings and when i write my most extreme emotions down i feel 100875302% relived.and possibly dont feel those pent up extreme feelings anymore.
dont chya know?
|
| |
|
has anyone ever had constant tears rolling down their face without actually crying....thats really sad and creepy and makes you think too.
i dout ill hear from him all weekend. good rinse i suppose.
|
| |
