it just keeps swimming.

And god knows pilots couldn't fly that high, and birdies don't bother to try.

aye me, this is not what was meant to be.

try,try,try,

try to fly that high
above the canons  above the fire

Currently Listening I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning By Bright Eyes see related

I hate all tenses. present, past, and future.

i've grown tired of holding this pose

it smells like pumpkins outside,the rememdy for my soul. 

Somethings you just can't forget.

Last summer six hours doubled as we accidentally immersed ourselves into the bermuda triangle of south georiga. We banged on as indians in the hot summer heat, singing with the windows down, stopping for 40's, as i watched you scribble out the words to the song, that on any other day than today i can't stand to hear. But today id welcome the bermuda triangle. For you in my passenger seat, and thirteen hours to explain the last six months. I think these are the thoughts i have been trying to get out of me since thanksgiving.As you can tell there are some things i can't articulate, you ... like him, now have the best of me. So Instead i had christmas without Dr.Suess and eggnog. Instead you became the second name on a thin list.

I wish that my growing process was overlooked today.

I would tade in this numbness for three minutes to be in that tunnel with you. Instead i stood sober, inches away from your body but not your mind, trying to save you from demons. holding your red legs as you squirmed like a child at the hands of a preacher man. Scolded for your sins and mine, I now know hell is full of spiders with broken knees.  

ill never get this right.
but ill keep trying.

recycled bones

I need my independence back, to be completely content on my own two feet.
I need to make something, i have felt dormant for far too long.
sometimes i have to remind myself that i am only twenty two and yet sometimes i think my heart has aged a bit faster than the average. I've seen the glory of saints and tasted the salt from palmer's lips. I've outgrown imitation and I can define greatness. i was thriving once, and i'm damn sure to thrive again one day. I am learning as I go.

You can't be where you are without the places you have been.

may 30

Simplicity is  irrelevant if you are unable to accept it for face value. I despise the misconceptions that grow from simple good intentions. My economics professor continually reminds me that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.I can't help but want to be concise and explicit to every extent possible when it comes to what i believe, however i know the imbalancing contradictions that are innate to my behavior.This is the result from having two parents who are entirely opposite, and i don not mean likes and dislikes, i mean the ingrained values that run much deeper than taste in movies or music. Just when i think i have a good handle on which side of the scale i fall on, my feet are pulled out from under me again. So i stood there picking away at my ideology trying to find an ounce of truth from blackboards and books. I wish everyone saw things the way we do. I say things i mean but do things i don't. Unlike my professor, I believe in good intentions but fail to execute the action without dissappointing, and one deep sigh from you lets me know i am in hell burning away with my ideals and good intentions.

the ladder (that first ignited the former)

I wish everyone could accept simplicity for what it really is, it's an honest innocence of truth that grace gives you.
I am thankful for those small bits of love that are shown to me in the most pecuilar ways.

You gave me something without even knowing it. tonight i will drink a coca cola instead of a beer and i will toast to the friendship that we will probally never have, but what you gave me was something much greater because it was honest, and i know that because it wasn't forced. It wasn't analyzed. it wasn't expected, so there were no dissappointments or expectations. it wasn't nervous or feared. It wasn't pining or depserate. Sometimes somethings just hit you without any textbook explanation. But its the simplistic moments like those that define truth for my life, not the books.

 the world is full of amazing people.