Girls something terrible has happened...i tryed to figure why the weight starting creeping back...i cried and starved and purged....

 

turns out im 4 months pregnant with a bmi of 21.8...

 

im a killer whale...

 

and the miracle of creating life?? im not dealing with it too good. i dont wannna hurt my baby but i cant stand these horrible huge boobs and giant curvy hips....

 

there is nothing i can do.

im completely at a loss.and my midwife is making me have counselling so my ED doesn't kill the baby.

 

SO FOR GODS SAKE USE PROTECTION. this couldn't be any worse.

 

stay strong thinnies....xxxxxxx

ok so im feeling positive. i have made the educated desicion not to fast but to continue with severe restriction, as when i fast, i want to eat my own arm, and im a moody bitch and my bf doesn't deserve to suffer.

today im not eating till my bf is home, its our 5 month anniversary today (i moved in with him after a week of knowing him) and im gonna cook up a low fat chicken stir fry, and he can have egg noodles and ciabatta too, but ill just eat the stir fry.

i had my hair cut yesterday and i reaally like it, its shorter and got pretty layers in it. it just looks healthier!!! its still nearly at the bottom of my bra but thats 3 inches shorter than before.(i have really long hair)

im working tonite till 3am, then 9-3.30 pm tommorow, then we r having a huge garden party and bbq, to celebrate the house move on sat. i shall have to pick at salads and drink tons of water. Im very excited about the house move, it will be lush. i start my new job monday too, £900 a month. thats awesome to me!!

the sad news is, this is my house mates laptop. an we will not have a laptop in the new house. not untill i get my first paycheck. so i wont be on for a while. its scary, i dont know how im gonna cope without u guys, but maybe in a way it may help me. I have to quit the summer challenge. im so sorry to my team mates on team blueberry, keep up the good work girls!!!

ill write again tommorrow if i can, but after then...who knows?? if any1 is in the uk, and wants to be a text buddy, let me know. i think thats my only option.

what did u guys think of that pic of me i posted yesterday???

heres two more from dandyliongrass.... i was so inspired when i saw them.






i think that both these pics are amazing so thanks dandyliongrass!!!

thanks so much for ur support, all of you. and i really hope you do well.

c ya in about a month... xxxxxxxxxxxxxx


peace out skinnie minnies<3<3<3