im leaving for spain tomorrow.. ive said my goodbyes and ill miss yous... hopefully ill be missed too... hehe.. hopefully..

rosa--- congrats on finding someone who makes you happy!!! i am so happy for you girlfriend!! i TRULY wish i could be there... but i PROMISE that i will visit you in the states... i have alot of plans!!! and seeing you again is one of them!!! i LOVE YOU!!! you are the bestest adobo headed girlfriend i could ever have... and i miss you!!! we gotta email more often!! before you ship out... and its kinda late!! ahhh!!

megan and brittan... you guys wont be here when i get back... so i wanted to put out a little something saying ill miss you two!! we havent been able to hang out and it sucks... but i wanted to let you know you two are awesome and i hope we keep in touch...

judy... you'll be here.. but i wanted to say thank you!!! thank you for everything... being there for me and always listening to what i have to say... and helping me figure out my shit and get it together... right? haha.. thanks for always pointing me in the right direction and understanding all my feelings... i needed someone like you... and you came just at the right time..

kady---> wow we have been through alot... blahness... princessness... girlfights... haha.. ill miss you chica.. but we'll keep in touch.. we still gotta go to thailand!! ill miss pillow talks and all that crazyness...

kevin==== man, you are my partner in crime!! haha... partner in life and love... we are the bestest friends there could ever be and have a strong bond between us that wont fade away... even in time... i hope to keep you in my life forever.. i love you banana head...  and will keep on loving you til the end of time...

to the KUYAS== and my High School buddies--- man you guys were awesome.. you totally kept me going through high school... my support through it all... i cant believe we became so close junior and especially senior year... i am so thankful to have you all in my life... i could never replace you all in my heart... so i was thinkin, maybe we could take a mexico trip... haha... but of course i would say somethin like that... we will all meet up in okinawa again!! im sure of it... okinawa summers... ahhh..

to all those that have been my friend and become my enemy--- i hope we can squash all that one day... i hold no grudges.. and im leaving this island with no regrets... ive learned alot from you all... and shall hold the lessons ive been taught close to my heart... thank you...

to jesse--- wow... mister hernandez, you'll never see this... but if you come across it one day searching for me... i just want to say thank you... thank you for everything... you picked me up when i was down... you made me feel like i was someone and i mattered again... you found my smile when i thought it was lost... you've helped me so much... and i am so happy that i met you... thank you for being a great friend to me on okinawa... and hopefully a great friend in the future... im sorry our time was cut short.. but i want you to know ill miss you...

chris herrera=== THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! you have always been there for me to listen to all my problems and offer me some quasi usable solutions.. you awesome... and ill always keep you near my heart... you have been a wonderful friend... and i hope we continue being close friends for the rest of our lives...

rob- are you having fun on tdy?? im sure ill see you in georgia when you get there... youve been a great friend to me.. and i want to thank you for being there, the support, and for pickin me up for every once in a while that i was down...

SALIM!!! i could never have gotten through the past couple months without you... you helped me keep my head up and look forward with a straight mind.. thank you so much... i look up to you and hope we will stay as close as we are now forever... we still got a car team to keep in tact in georgia!!! maybe i can get my pix up on MI.. HEHE...

MI-- you guys... wow... could have never had so much fun on this island without you guys... jonjon- you have been the awesomest of the awesome... eskimo man, thank you so much for everything you've done for me!!! jabari-- haha, we've had a great time here havent we?? drifting was great... seeing you at nago was great... i was so happy to have a friend out there doing it!! youre awesome... keep your head up... we all gotta meet up again in okinawa!!

lifeguard friends--- thats like everyone!! davey, maria, carl, brandon, josh, tsukasa, chris, fat kris, scott, paul, jai, matt, gen, misa, ryoko, yoshi, yuki, masato... etc. etc. etc... i love you guys... foster 50 crew, hansen crew, semi schwab ppls, foster 25 crew... wow ill miss all the great times..

oura wan boating and hansen gym ppls=== ill miss you guys... fun in the sun and me losing weight... times to remember.. haha...

not sure who i havent mentioned... theres been alot of people in and out of my life... i love everyone and have learned from everyone.. okinawa was the shit... and ill miss it!!! but tomorrow im out... and when i come back for 10 days ill be too busy to even think of doing this... not that ill have a computer when i get back anyway!! hehe... so my last chance... right here... goodbye...

5 more days... wow... its all comin up so fast...

rosa is getting married next week... im so happy for her!!! makes me start thinking about being engaged and married... i really dont know... if im ready for that at all... i really want to finish school first and do things to for myself before even thinking about all that... extra obligations... i guess i just dont want to be held back... its too soon... and there is so much i want to do... that i dont think ill be able to do... engaged or married... as of now... i want to be in love and have that... but i dont want to be engaged or think about it... what i want is the time to be able to grow and change... and better myself and go through things, make mistakes, have fun... all that... i want that special person in my life, always.. but i feel like... im going to be selfish and do what i want to and need to do... i dont want to hurt anyone... but myself matters the most to me right now... and i think ive said it, over and over again...

today is monday... i am going crazy!!!

kadys graduation is today!! im excited to see her walk the stage... i think i might cry before she does!! ahaha... need to buy batteries... gotta take super pix!!

well anywhhhhhhoooo... im kinda lost in all my feelings lately...im a true believer of following my heart!! even... if my heart leads me through a fire... things are difficult i guess... 2 more weeks on oki!! and then off to spain with vin... no more lifeguard job... no more cool cars... no more japaneseyneeeeezzzz... ill miss it... i come back from spain and leave okinawa 10 days later... and then after that i dont know what Kevin will do... leave for the air force? stay here?? i really cant say for sure... his plans are always kinda iffy... while mine are pretty definite...

i dont know how long itll take to get settled into georgia but i want to get a car right away... and go crazy... ahaha... well theres alot more on my mind then just this... but ill write it at a later date...

life is incredible lately... i dont know what is makin it that way... but i have been completely happy and satisfied... i feel great... and im looking forward to a bigger and brighter future... hopefully in some spotlight, yeah?? haha...

i just finished another term of college... im pretty sure i got an A!! so im looking forward to seeing my grades in the mail... im quitting work next month... so only a few days of pool fun left... im gonna miss it...

prom was a success!!! i had a great time...it was hard to dance there, kinda... i danced with david, kady, jason paul, jai, dani/aubrey.... and felt like i was on camera alot... especially when i did my rave show for kady and alex... felt kinda nerdy.. maria was there, and i love her!!! so big hugs... every time i saw her...

well this weekend kady, me, and judy are going to utopia!!! dressed up, lookin all pretty... should be a great time... im gonna see about gettin VIP tables... wahaha...

anyway... today is tuesday, and kady was talkin about wantin to go out... so maybe maybe... it might happen... but im gonna take a shower...

im not really confused. i know what i want... and i can see what is ahead of me...

kevin... you said i am the love of your life and you will never make the mistake of letting me go again... i believe in you... we are friends before anything else... you are my best friend... and i value our expierience and how much we've grown... now that i know everything.. i can accept you for who you are... and watch you grow up a lil bit more... it makes me look stupid to be back with you to everyone else... but this isnt about how i look, this is about how i feel.... everyone else can go to hell... if anyone tries to mess this up for me, i swear... punch in the face. no joke. i cut my own strings and i tie my own as well...

going to spain june 25th with kevin... im really scared and nervous!!! im not usually this way at all... but meeting the family is really going to work me.... its alot of pressure... even going to see my own family in the states is hard!!! im not sure what to expect, or what they'll expect of me... but i dont know... im not sure if i look quite like the girl you'd want to take home... i dont have that girl next door look.. haha...  but im sure kevin is thinking, this isnt something tina needs to be worrying about... shes gonna be with me, and ill be protecting her... im just looking forward to spending this month with kevin, and having fun in spain with him!!! i cant wait to go to the beach, eat the food hes been talking about, smell new air (hehe), and to just smile cuz we are away from it all... this'll be the last chance to spend time with him before he goes to boot camp to become a PJ!!! haha.. or crash fire rescue... im really proud of him for getting his life started... ive wanted this for such a long time...

well im off to work...i hope kevin made the bus!!