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| Wow, you know you're tired when you click on your Xanga site and think your MySpace is looking weird...
Anyway, okay, so you know how I get to thinking every now and then? Well, I was doing that tonight on my way home from school and I have a question. What would you do if Osama bin Laden walked into your church building on Sunday morning? What if he decided he was going to do a spiritual 180, give his life to Christ and start completely over ~ at YOUR church. Now, I consider myself to be a pretty loving person, but I'll be totally honest with you and I KNOW this does NOT sound Christ-like at all, but there's a very big part of me that would love to see Osama bin Laden burn in Hell for what he's done. What happened on 9-11 hit very close to home and a lot of you know that. I can't even begin to describe the levels of grief and pure hatred that I felt. If bin Laden ever decided to turn his life around and become a Christian, I think part of me would think that he didn't deserve to have that option.
And then I got to thinking some more...about the apostle Paul. You know, if he lived these days instead of when he did, I think he would have been another bin Laden. I believe Paul would be bombing church buildings and terrorizing Christians all over the nation ~ and maybe not just THIS nation! (In the name of God, of course.) It's no wonder the first century Christians were terrified when he claimed to be a beliver!! Would you believe Osama bin Laden if he made the same claim?? I don't THINK so!!! Do you think the early Christians wanted Paul to rot in Hell for what he had done? I mean, come on, the people WERE human, after all! But look at all of the things Paul did after he became a Christian!! Try to imagine Christianity without his contribution ~ not to mention the New Testament! Even with my colossal imagination, I can't imagine what that would be like. That evil man, the president of the scum of the earth, became one of the most influential, passionate Christians ever to walk the earth. Now, can you imagine what the world would be like if Osama bin Laden made the same life change? | | |
| Day three has come and gone and I'm pretty much broken in. I'm tired as heck, but I'm sure I'll get used to getting up at seven o'clock in the stinkin' morning. (It's still dark at 7:00 ~ dark!! Nobody should have to wake up when the sun isn't even up yet!!) I get a new name tomorrow. The teachers had a terrible time remembering Miss Murrell; I got called "Miss Morality" and the kids were calling me "Miss Molar" today. I don't want anyone thinking that my last name is a tooth, so starting tomorrow I'm Miss Kamry. Anyway, Miss Murrell made me feel way too old, like I was my Mom's age or something!! Anywho, I gotta head. One of the youth group kids had a birthday Sunday and since that was the day we got back from the weekend youth rally over in Arkansas, I didn't get to bake a cake for him then, so I'm making one now and it's about to come out of the oven. Oh, and then I have to try to design the Skip-Bo thingy-deal on the cake using red hots. (Devin and I kinda have a history with Skip-Bo...) Please pray that people will be able to tell what it is!! :) | | |
| When I was writing last night's entry, in between all my excitedness (Is that a real word? Who cares, I like it), I was thinking "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my GOSH, what am I doing?? Those kids are going to be MONSTERS and they will HATE me and not listen to me and they're going to know that I'm afraid of them and I AM GOING TO FAIL and -- OOOOH my gosh!! What am I DOING???" See, ever since I got the job, I've been going through all the worst case scenarios that could possibly happen and coming from MY imagination...well...it was pretty awful. But when you've spent an entire weekend doing that, you show up and nothing even phases you. Kids threw temper tantrums and had to be held down, kicking and screaming and I was just like, "Hm. I can do that."
There were more than a few wild moments at school today, but there were also some really sweet moments with the kids and that's why I know I'm going to love this job. I know no job is perfect and there's going to be stress wherever you work, but the stress and the difficulty of this job is SO going to be worth it because of the kids. It's only been one day and I'm already attached to them.
Thank You, thank You, thank You God, for this. | | |
| Oh wow... Okay, so you know how I love kids and all that? Well, ever since I got back to the States and started job hunting, what I've really wanted to be was a teacher's aid in a special ed. class. But God didn't want me to do that, so I got the job at the hearing aid place. Well, on Wednesday morning, I got a call from a friend from church who works with special ed. kids and she told me there was an opening for a teacher's aid in an E.D. class (Emotionally Disturbed) at one of the elementary schools in town. I went in and interviewed for it that afternoon and GUESS WHAT!! An hour after the interview, they called me and said the job was mine!!! :) :) :) YEAH!!! And since then, I've learned that the main teacher in the class is a member of the church!! Is God awesome or what?? Not only did He give me my dream job, He also gave me someone in the class to make me feel more comfortable, and on top of that, He did this all in less than a day!!!
I start my new job tomorrow morning (probably this morning for you ~ I start Monday) and I am SOOO excited about it!!! But at the same time, I'm also SOOO nervous about it. One of the kids in the class I'll be helping with goes to my church and...well, I've seen stuff and heard stories, and...well, not only are the kids afraid of this guy, some of the adults are too. ...No, I'm not kidding. I haven't gotten to spend much time with him, so I don't know what to expect from him at school. Or any of his classmates. I'm going into this knowing only that I love kids and want to help them and wondering if I'm really going to be able to. Oh yeah, and I know that God's going with me and if it wasn't for that, I would probably chicken out. Anyway, please, please pray for me as I start this new job ~ and slowly let go of the old one. (It was SO hard quitting!! Barbara totally understood ~ I knew she would ~ and she's really happy for me, but still...I already miss it...) I really don't know what to expect...I'm wondering what I've gotten myself into here... But I know that this is from God (I mean, just look at how fast it happened ~ could it be any more obvious??), so I know I can do it. | | |
| Have you ever noticed that life is a lot less noticable when you're busy living it? I've been thinking about that today. I just realized how busy I've been; my life is just crazy, I feel like I'm in AIM again or something, only without all the rules! And no coordinator...no teammates...no monthly newsletters to write...no Dr. Pepper to miss...okay, so it doesn't really feel like AIM, but still...
I only just realized how much my life revolves around my church. Actually, the youth group. I'm the assistant youth minister (a very official name for a very UNofficial position) and oh my GOSH, I LOVE it!!! :) I've been helping out since I got back to Cushing last year and I'm always wondering how much help I really am; how much of a difference I'm really making ~ if any. But it seems like every time I get discouraged about that, one of the girls calls me in the middle of the night because her boyfriend broke up with her and she needs someone to talk to, or one of them's bored and wants to hang out or spend the night with me and that just makes me think (in a very non-conceited way) that God really is using me here. These guys know they can call me anytime for anything or just come over. They know I care and they've accepted me. It took SUCH a long time to get to this point and it makes me SOOOOOOO happy!!! :)
When I left New Zealand, I didn't just miss all of the people or the beautiful scenery or wonderful uniqueness of the place, I missed having a ministry. I missed having a reason to get up in the morning. Something to look forward to; people who depended on me for something. I got back to Oklahoma and felt like I wasn't needed for anything and you just don't know how hard that was for me. The Tri-County youth group has become my ministry; I don't know how much they depend on me, but I do know that they've given me something to look forward to. More than that, at the risk of sounding extremely corny, they've given me a new life. And I honestly don't think I could be any happier than I am right now. | | |
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