| long time no talkhey.. its been a long time hasn't it? people do want use xanga anymore... however.. it is a great way to keep a journal... type away the feelings and the thought that you had today.. perhaps typing down.. (puhaha) some of the things that you wanna do.... i've been writing a journal for like.. 3 days.. and wow.. it is pathetic.. try it and see if you feel the same.. |
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| i've took 4 lives today...
even though they were only bees (the big black one)
two of them.. i used them as a swing practice for my sword (cut them in the air)
one i used the sword's sheath as a blunt object to hit.. (then crushed it as a mercy)
last one.. i hit it lightly with my sheath and tried to cut its legs and wings and feed it to the ants..
i felt bad for the last one.. as soon as my sword started to crush its legs.. it tried to escape.. making that buzz sound.. trying to fly away.... i've tried to cut off its legs.. but failed.. then it flew away.. but im pretty sure its going to die...
these weren't just meaningless "kills"
1. i wanted to improve/polish my techniques
2. i was angry (yeah shut the **** up)
3. again i was angry
4. plus my sister plays in my backyard all the time.. i need to kill them for her safety (planning to investigate for possible hives.. and im going to kill all the bees and their hive) |
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| anyone wishing to go to bodies exhibition this friday (30th) contact me as soon as possible |
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| i've been realizing something again..
there is some satisfaction and joy when you challenge/damage your body...
examples
working out being so sore you can't move your body or lift your pillow
running until getting runner's high (the world turns white..)
sports... so tired that you will fall asleep right after ..
aren't they all the same... weird
functioning normally when sick
not sleeping for long time..
getting blisters on your hands
there is beauty to pain...
wow.. i haven't been beaten up past.... 5 years.. it used to be so.. normal to get beat up..
im kind of missing that.. the rage and rush during a fight.. pain and joy after the fight...
i do take kumdo to satisfy myself but.. there is something about hand to hand combat
there is beauty in being sick
it gives you such a mentality that you don't want to give in to being sick...
it feels like you are winning agaist your sickness...
it feels good.... (unless you are so sick you can't stand up or have to use the bathroom every 10 mins)
anyway stop with stupid thoughts and back to my school stuff.. bye |
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| i would like to say something about being nice...
ever since we were little, we were taught to be nice to others.
be polite, share, help, blah blah blah (you get the idea) = i'll call them the selected few
then there are the others who just do whatever they please and not so considerate towards others.. = let's just say that they are... dumbasses
now here is a situation..
it just so happens, the selected few tends to get screwed by the dumbasses...
and the selected few tries to be nice and all that.. but.. where is the limit? where do they draw the line?
for example, i experience this today..
one of the selected few was just talking to this person.. you know just random meaningless things.. to hopefully lead to a good conversation... it just so happens that the person that he was talking to was a dumbass..
so the poor guy gets full unleash of her attitude... and he didn't even do a fucking thing...
now.. i've seen that happen couple of times and i feel sorry for this guy... now im trying to predict what he will do if this continually goes on.. there are couple of simulations that i thought were reasonable
1= he says shut the fuck up you mother fucking selfish bitch and just fucking get out of my sight..
2= just not say a thing and break all ties with the girl
3= bottle up all his anger and ohh columbine all over again
4= he stops being the selected few and becomes an ultimate dumbass who will screw everyone over..
i don't know the guy that well.. but to me its clear that he has way too many dumbasses around him...
what will he do? all of the choices look pretty shitty..
and what will you choose?
if the nice ones are going to get screwed everytime why not be a dumbass?
what's the benefit for being nice?
being a poor peon who gets the fucking crap from other ppl
when will he get fed up with it and unleash his frustration? |
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