20If my life is made out of 80 years, ive lived through a fourth of it. and then i think, how uninfluential human beings are. as if wt hv i done for HK, the world, the Earth so far? or wt do i suppose to do? shall i work extremely hard and get a second up law degree and then be a lawyer which i dont want to be. or shall i enter a painting competition and then draw for my whole life and that is wt i reali want to do. or shall i be an OL and work from 0830- 1930 everyday. or shall i get married if anyone offers me by the age of 26.' sometimes i wana do sth big as in save the world or sth or save ppl from poverty. sometimes i feel tired and hv no enery then i thought i would want to be a housewife and cook and bring up my children for my whole life. sometimes i wana be an artist and to contribute to the artistic world. sometimes i wana be a journalist and to witness things happening around us. sometimes i wana a film director and make things that make ppl think. sometimes i wana be an educator so that the next generation will receive more creative teaching. sometimes i thought i can do all of them at once and then i found myself losing control of one of those things. not that im greedy that i wana do all of them but that i dunno wt i want to do and so im trying to do very things. im still seeking for a purpose after 20 years. im hapi but im lost. im content but i hv no aims. as i hv no ideas wt i want to be or wt my aim is, im trying different things and i enjoy doing them. i believe enjoy my present time is the most important thing since u never knw wt will happen to u next. but then you said im walking a different way from u and im walking faster and faster and i leave u behind. and u asked where im heading to? i dunno... im looking for a purpose... the worst thing for me is that im living with no purposes. but i reali believe im doing wt i am enjoying nw and even sometimes i might get stressed i still think it all worths... but u never like wt i do............... and this has made me feel purposeless. 20. how wierd. |