My little doggie that I adopted last April is the cutest thing. And smart too! Apparently she sees me as her leader, which is as it should be, of course. She follows me everywhere. Bathroom, kitchen, living room...either sitting at my feet or right next to me but always she keeps me in her sight lines. I shift an ass cheek on the sofa, she looks up to check on me. She worse than my kids when they were little. I don't think I've ever had anyone/anything be so devoted to me...well, ever. It's simultaneously charming and a huge responsibility. To be someone's everything? That's a heavy burden. Luckily, she's a dog and I'm probably less indespensible than I think.

But back to her obviously superior intellect. I swear she can understand me. She almost always follows my commands and she seems to sense my moods, being especially obedient the moodier I am. And when I am on the potty and she looks up at me with those chocolately brown eyes and I can't take all the staring while I am doing my business all I have to do is say "Isabelle- privacy please!" and she turns her head away. She doesn't leave the bathroom but she turns her face away until I am done. She's brilliant I tell you! Now if I could just get the kids to mind as readily.

And then there was four...

Her name was Lola...

I'll be at the Copa...the Copacabana...In the Mexican Riviera...December 19th-26th...Non stop flight...All inclusive resort...A little bit of debt but it is so worth it.

I finally bit the bullet and went for it. It was talking to the travel agent that did it. You can only get so much info searching online. And I swear sometimes it seems that the endless accesibility of the internet makes it ridiculously dificult to figure anything out. Too many choices, too much information. So I called the travel agent, told her what I wanted, when I wanted it, how much I wanted it for...and she did it. Better results than I feel I would have gotten on my own also.

My kids are so excited. Dammit, I am so excited! When I hung up with the the travel agent after booking the trip I did a little dance in my kitchen. And I am so not the dancing for joy type.

We will forgo the Christmas tree, there will be no decorations at all. Except for the store window which I am obligated to do. I'll get all my Christmas ya-yas out on that. The kids have been sat down and I have explained that there will be no presents as the trip is all of our present. But really two pairs of wheelies will be procured and smuggled into the luggage for Christmas morning. I just can't not get them anything at all. They've both wanted wheelies for a long time and they can skate around the resort in them so I am thinking it will be a much appreciated gift.

Currently Listening Stand Still, Look Pretty By The Wreckers, Michelle Branch, Jessica Harp see related

I'm happiest when I'm in the kitchen.

Barefoot, but thank God not pregnant, hair pulled back, ratty sweats and T, glasses smudged with butter and flour...some of the happiest moments of my life happen like that in there. This morning I was rolling out my pie crust for the apple pie I was about to make and I realized that when I divided my dough into two balls last night I had inadverdently made one ball smaller than the other. And the larger dough was already in the smaller pie plate and filled with pumpkin pie filling. I had one very anxious moment where I knew I was dancing on the edge of losing it. My scalp gets tingly, my color (blood pressure, really) starts to rise, there is an echo in my ears and depending on how close I am to "that time" my eyes slowly fill with tears. But this morning I took a deep breath, closed my eyes for a moment, allowed my self one head shake at my blunder and simply threw the too small crust into the garbage. I know that sounds wasteful, but I didn't have another use for it and I didn't want to try to add to it, that just seemed like a recipe for frustration. So I cleaned my work space and started over. As the second pie crust chilled I began my stuffing. By the time the stuffing was resting, I was ready to roll out my chilled crust and I was feeling all kinds of proud at not having lost it and at letting myself take the time to just start over. Something I don't always give myself.

And when I cleaned the kitchen afterwards I took the time to think about life and corny as it may be giving thanks. I have a lot more to be thankful for than I typically think about on a day to day basis. I'm healthy, have lots of energy, have discovered that I love going to the gym, I've learned to some extent to master my emotions- I lose it a lot less than I used to. I have the most amazing kids that I adore- while acknowledging that they drive me insane sometimes but I'm willing to bet that I make them pretty mad sometimes too. I am clothed, fed (too well many times), sheltered, and I have passion. For my hobbies, my interests, life, my friends and family. And while being thankful for all that I have I need to acknowledge a certain amount of guilt for those that have so much less. Not sure how to reconcile that at this point in my life but I wouldn't feel right feeling grateful without a small amount of guilt to balance things out. I guess I can renounce Catholicism all I want but some things are too deeply embedded to get past.

Not sure how I got from thinking about how happy I am when I am cooking and baking to how I suffer from Catholic guilt when I am not even a Catholic anymore but such it is. Have a happy thanksgiving...and don't forget to give thanks- often.

Sweet Gingered Squash Soup

Here is a recipe for a creamy, warming soup to get you through those times when you can't decide what to do. It's easily adaptable for recipe changes or changes of heart or whatever.

Ingredients

~one bag of frozen butternut squash chunks (or if you are feeling ambitous you can buy a butternut squash and peel it and chunk it up yourself. That is probably ideal, but time consuming, no? You can also buy a cut up butternut squash in the produce section of most supermarkets this time of year but who thinks that far in advance?)

~two medium to large sized sweet potatoes, peeled and grated (or just chop it up into really small chunks which is what my daughter did after she cut her hand on the box grater. I suppose one could also use a food processor to chop the sweet potatoes, if one owned a food processor, that is.)

~six shallots, peeled and diced (you can also use half of a large onion, but I like the sweetness of the shallots)

~half a stick of butter ( 4 tablespoons or 1/4 cup...I used my stash of the good butter for this one because the recipe calls for so few ingredients)

~one teaspoon ginger (knock yourself out and peel and grate some fresh if you have it on hand, but ground is fine)

~one container Swanson chicken broth (preferrably organic- Swanson's certified organic, free range chicken broth in the 32oz vacuum packed container was voted best tasting by Cook's Illustrated taste testers...and I agree. Of course, home made chicken stock is ideal. But I only have that on hand when I am making home made chicken soup. So there.)

~one half cup or one cup sherry or white wine (I used sherry because I had it and I wanted to get rid of it.)

~one half cup to one cup heavy cream (I used half and half because that's what I had in the house and like I said, the recipe is super adaptable)

~one quarter cup maple syrup (the real deal- as if you'd let any other kind in to your house... and if you do- please don't tell me about it)

Method

Heat a medium sized soup pot and melt the butter.

When butter is melted add the shallots and saute until translucent (I was using a medium heat on my electric stove)

Add your sherry or wine and turn up the heat to high to deglaze your pot. Stir fast and watch carefully so as not to burn the shallots, you just want to burn off the alcohol.

Reduce heat to medium and add your butternut squash and sweet potatoes.

Stir in the ginger and season with salt and pepper (I used white pepper so as not to mar the pretty orange soup with black flecks.

Saute the vegetables for two or three minutes and then add the container of stock.

Increase heat to medium high and bring to a boil.

Reduce heat back to medium low and let vegetables simmer until tender. Took me about 15 minutes for that part. This is assuming your veggies are in small pieces...

Take soup of heat and get your blender ready. (Blender, immersion blender, food processor...any of those would work. I used the blender because it was already out on my counter.)

Blend the soup in the batches until creamy and put back into the wiped out pot. (I'm assuming everyone knows about blending hot liquids...small batches, don't fill blender more than half way, don't put lid on tightly, keep it vented. I don't even use my lid, I use a paper towel and lift it once I've started blending.)

So the soup is back in the pot and you've put it on a low flame. Add your cream and maple syrup. Taste for seasonings. Need salt? Maybe more ginger? I found mine needed a kick of sweetness that the maple syrup didn't provide so I ended up adding a tablespoon of dark brown sugar.

Soup's on.

Tastes even better the next day.

I don't know if anyone would think this recipe is complicated, maybe it sounds that way with the blending and all that. But it was completed from start to finish within an hour. Kids might not like the ginger so you may want to scale back on that for little ones. And it makes a pretty big batch, which could easily be halved.