Wrong number - I promise

Sometimes you just have experiences where you aren't sure whether to laugh, roll your eyes, be annoyed, or all of the above.  Fortunately, however, such stories make for amusing blog entries!  So here you go:

My husband and I have lived in the church parsonage for well over a year and a half now (it will be two in August) and we got our current phone number within a few days of moving in.  We quickly learned that someone named "Carrie" had had our phone number previously (we were getting so many calls for her that after a month of moving in, I actually looked up our number in the online white pages.  Yep, sure enough, Carrie was still listed)!  Most of the calls were job interview related - my guess is that Carrie sent out dozens - perhaps hundreds - of resumes and then moved somewhere far away, leaving behind her phone number and a large stack of resumes yet to be followed up on.

At first it wasn't such a huge deal - though sometimes we had to explain multiple times that Carrie did indeed no longer have our number.  We also had a few telemarketer calls for Carrie, but after registering our number on the "do not call" list that helped too.  Still, when it had been more than a year, we really started to wonder!  Apparently a lot of employers don't follow up with perspective candidates in a timely manner!  (Could explain why my husband never heard back from the majority of the nearly 300 resumes he sent out in order to land our current position - it makes me wonder if someone who has our old number is still getting phone calls for him!)  A couple times I started to ask what it was for - maybe I could get a part-time job on the side or something - clearly Carrie had some good experience! 

After a while, however, we started getting some calls for someone named Robin.  What amused/confused/annoyed me the most was that there is one particular spa in North Carolina (and remember, we live in New Jersey) that calls for her about once every three months or so.  Still.  I'm not sure why it is so hard for them to figure out that Robin doesn't live here and that this is not her number (though I wouldn't mind having some of her spa treatments - especially if she was footing the bill!

All in all, we've had some funny stories, strange experiences, and a few pushy (and/or confused) telemarketers/spa personnell/potential employers come our way.  ("No, really, my husband and I have had this number for a year and a half now and there really isn't anyone here by that name!  Can you please update that in your records?  No sir, I don't know a current number for her," etc., etc.).  My favorites are when they leave messages on our answering machine (which clearly states our names and in no way sound like "Robin" or "Carrie"), so we just roll our eyes, hit delete, and move on.

Then there was the telemarketer from last night who gave me a whole new story to laugh at/be annoyed at!  The phone rings and caller ID indicates that it is most likely a telemarketer.  I pause for my requisite "can I get away with not answering and just screen the call later even though I'm a pastor's wife and it really could  be someone important?"  (For the record I prefer to screen all my calls, but that isn't always a great idea when you're in ministry life).  So, like normal, I sigh, go ahead and answer and wait for the sales pitch I'm expecting to recieve.

Telemarketer: "Hello, Mrs. [some name I couldn't understand]?"

Me: "I'm sorry, who are you looking for?"

T: "May I please speak to Mrs. Robin [whoever]?"

M: "I'm sorry, you have the wrong number."

T: "This isn't Mrs. so and so's residence?"

M: "No, ma'm, I'm sorry, she doesn't live here."

T: "Ok, thank you."

I hang up, wondering when the spa will call again.  But, I don't have much time to think through such things because the phone rings again less than 45 seconds later.  Same telemarketing number.

Same telemarketer as before:  "Hello, may I please speak to Mrs. Carrie?"

Me (slightly stunned and trying not to laugh):  "I'm sorry, who?"

T: "Mrs. Carrie [insert same last name as before]"

M: "I'm sorry, you still have the wrong number!"

T:  "Is this not [insert our phone number here]"

M:  "Yes, ma'm, it is, but neither Robin nor Carrie live here."

She's not convinced.

M: "Ma'm, my name is Emily and my husband and I have had this number for over a year and a half, there is no one here by the name of either Robin or Carrie - they no longer have this number!  Please take them off of your list."

T: "But this isn't..."

M:  "No ma'm, I'm sorry."  And I hung up.

Two thoughts were going through my head:  (1) Is this woman just calling asking for any possible name associate with this number?  Then it occured to me - maybe there is a connection between Robin and Carrie!  Perhaps they were sisters (or maybe Robin is actually a boy's name and they were a married couple) and both had this number previously - which would explain a lot.  I've now come up with all sorts of theories to explain these strange phone calls (though I'll never truly know since, unfortanately, I have no clue where Robin OR Carrie are now). 

Thought number 2:  now that I've given that woman my name, I really hope she doesn't call back asking for "Mrs. Emily!!  She was awfully insistant the first few times!"  Fortunately for me, she didn't, and the rest of my Monday evening was spent sans telephone!  Though I guess there is still tonight... especially if she really did update her phone records!  For once, let's hope not!

I'm back!

Wow!  So it has been quite a while since I last posted!!  (I have good reasons, I promise!   )

Thanks to those of you who responded to my last post.  I appreciated the ideas and - while I think things worked out for the best, considering the circumstances - we definitely have some better thoughts on how we'd proceed in the future!  I'm learning that a lot of ministry can be about learning lessons - sometimes most of them are ones we learn ourselves! 

We've also learned all sorts of other important things lately.  Like how it's very hard to blog (let alone do much of anything) in the throws of morning sickness!!  (Otherwise known as morning, afternoon, evening, nighttime, 24-7 sickness).  Yes, that's right, we're pregnant!   Told you I had a good reason for not posting.    I have missed my blogging almost as much as I missed being able to eat like a normal person.  I love to cook and love to eat, so missing out on both of those for 4 to 4 1/2 months was no fun.  Worth it, but no fun.  The second trimester is definitely better!  (Though I turned out to be one of those "lucky" ones who has bad morning sickness and dizziness way past the 14 week mark). 

I read somewhere that that means it's a healthier pregnancy - something about the level of a certain hormone.  Whether or not that's true or they just tell you that to make you feel better, it worked for me and I chose to believe it.    So, yes, a lot has happened in the past several months, most of which includes me working hard at making a new little person.  Our new arrival should be here around the end of July (July 21st being the official date according to my u/s) and we are very excited!  Overwhelmed and going through that "are we really going to be parents?" phase sometimes too, but mostly just excited and anticipating. 

So, suffice it to say that I'm sure I'll have plenty of blogging to catch up on in the coming months - and I'll soon have sweet pictures to share!  But, for now, I will spare you a horrendously long entry trying to fill everyone in on what's been going on since late October/early November.  Meanwhile, I'm going to go feed this new baby a snack! 

Currently Listening Beauty from Pain 1.1 Stand In the Rain see related

So we've been learning a hard lesson these past few weeks:  "don't try fulfill any 'ministerial roles' to your own family" is quite possibly a better saying than "don't lend friends (or family) money."  Actually, I think the latter would be easier!! 

It's been a little crazy around our house since the first of October.  First we had an unexpected funeral (one of Daryl's aunts was placed on the waiting list for a liver transplant and was dead within a week).  The unexpected funeral meant an unexpected trip to Texas and Mississippi.  At the same time his grandmother (and only surviving grandparent) was placed in the hospital near death.  We really thought for a while that it was going to be a double funeral weekend.  Fortunately, or unfortantely she is doing "better."  Better of course being diabetes, heart failure, liver failure and short-term memory loss (so she doesn't know what is even happening to her).  Not that it's ever easy to lose someone, but his Mamaw is really ready to go and she is really just suffering - has been for a while now.  Those of us left behind aren't ready, but she is.  And it's difficult to just keep waiting. 

So, we learned very quickly that, even among family, being a "preacher" can carry similar connotations to those who think ministers are superhuman or an entirely different breed of people.  We were faced with the first task of trying to balance "I'm a pastor (or pastor's wife) and they look to me for comfort and wisdom and support" with "I'm also a son/brother/nephew/cousin and grieving for a family member myself."  Fortunately, Daryl didn't have to do the funeral, and the minister who did did a great job - it was just clear that many expected Daryl to be able to fill similar shoes without realizing that he couldn't distance himself as "just" a pastor to a church member might be able to. 

As if that wasn't enough, Daryl's brother is getting married in about a week and a half - November 3rd to be exact - to a girl he met (yes, met) on Memorial Day.  Actually that was the day they were matched online - I don't think they actually met face to face till the first or second week of June.  Now, I have no problem with someone moving that quickly - I've known couples who have had quick courtships like that and it's clear that that is the speed at which God led them.  However, I would be uncomfortable about this relationship itself, even if these two had been dating for six years.  That just makes it all the more scary that they are speeding through things - almost in a "If I don't get down the aisle now I may never have a chance" mode. 

I'll spare ya'll all of the gory details, but, long story short, the relationship doesn't appear very healthy.  Of course every couple has issues - but these two have some that are a little more dangerous/damaging than most.  Even so, neither Daryl or I felt they were issues that were necissarily deal-breakers, but something that should definitely be dealt with before the wedding.  Thus, when they asked Daryl to perform the ceremony he was thrilled to do it, but with the stipulation that they seek premarital counseling first.  (Something he would insist on for any couple he married.  In fact, I believe most churches and most ministers nowadays require premarital counseling as a prerequresite to marriage.  I know we had to when we got married.  We couldn't get married in the church otherwise - a requirement I wholeheartedly agree with). 

Daryl did ask that they go see someone else for premarital counseling, simply because he felt it could be awkward or cross too many boundries.  I mean, are you really going to be able to adequately counsel your brother and future sister-in-law on sex or how to argue?  Fast forward to about a week ago and it "slips out" that they've never actually gone to counseling and aren't intending to go.  Ever.  Period.  Well, maybe they might go after the wedding.  It really isn't a big deal because they bought a book that Daryl recommended and they have gone through it together and worked out all of their issues and are good to go now.  They've counseled themselves and are thrilled with how well it went and how easy it was!    But, really, it isn't their fault or that they didn't want to - time just crept away from them and they also couldn't find a pre-marital counselor.  Absolutely no church or professional Christian counselor in the entire city of Houston, Texas was available between mid-June when they decided to get married and November 3rd.  Um.... yeah, I believe that!   

We'd both had this nagging suspicion that one or both of them had been actively avoiding counseling.  Which kinda made us wonder if there was something one or both of them didn't want coming out in the open.  All of us who are married know that - as much as we love our husbands and know how well suited we are for each other - that there are some issues we didn't think would be issues prior to marriage.  And we just weren't likely to address them unless a third party pulled them out of us.  Daryl hadn't pushed the issue of pre-marital counseling or outright addressed his concerns initially because (1) he was led to believe they were going already and (2) he figured that any issues that needed to come out would come out in pre-marital counseling. 

So he asks why they haven't gone and insists that they need to.  Mentions to his brother that if it were anyone else he wouldn't marry them unless they had been counseled.  Offers to do the counseling himself since that is the only way they'll get anything.  They agree... and then mysteriously things come up and they can no longer meet.  Long story short, Daryl insists on counseling - suggests some reasons why they should go and some issues to work through - and the fiancee flips her lid big time.  Claims she is majorly offended.  Tells Daryl's brother she'll leave him, that sort of thing.  We later discover that they apparently thought they could get away without pre-marital counseling because Daryl was marrying them.  That's not the reason they asked him, but they did kinda figure he might go "easier" on them.  Hmmm, somehow that's not convincing either of us that they are fine without premarital counseling!!   

So, gory details aside, the wedding is in a week and a half, the entire immediate family is in an uproar because this has caused much commotion.  (None of whom were initially comfortable with the relationship to begin with, but are now so afraid of offending the fiancee on a warpath that they would rather just back down and take the easy way out.  My mother-in-law, who is normally great about getting things out on the table and talking through them, even said we should just get through the wedding and then we'd have a lifetime to figure things out.  Yikes!). 

And, so, we are left with the question of:  does Daryl stand by his convictions and risk alienating an already shaky couple (and angering more family members) even more or does he do something he is uncomfortable with for the sake of smoothing things out for the family?  He feels very strongly that his role as a minister is to call God's blessing upon this marriage and he is not comfortable blessing what he sees now.  He knows he bears a serious responsibility before God and what he sees and hears from this couple doesn't convince him that they are ready to make a lifetime committment to one another.  Yet, if he refuses, what harm does that do to the family - and his relationship to his brother (they have always been incredibly close until the fiancee entered the picture), and is it worth risking?  Especially if most of the family is in agreement that he should back off and just do the wedding - no questions asked - and just wants to let what happens happen.

Again, if it were anyone else this would be such a different story.  We're both beginning to think that mixing ministry with family is like mixing those two chemicals in a beaker that your chemistry teacher told you never to touch - it's dangerous, way too explosive, and has the potential to cause seriously unexpected chain reactions!

I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on the matter - especially if you've been there!  Your prayers are also appreciated - it's been a tough few weeks (feels like a few months)!

I love teaching children.  Not only do I love just being around or working with children, but I enjoy the teaching part too.  They come up with the greatest ideas/sayings sometimes and I always seem to end up learning more from them than I intended to teach.  Sometimes I end up learning (or in this case re-learning) things I never expected - and often I just get tickled about it.  Case in point:

Last night we started our fall season of Pioneer Clubs (a childrens program) where I teach 3rd and 4th grade girls.  At one point we were making picture frames out of popsicle sticks.  "Miss Emily, Miss Emily, look!" called out one of my girls.  I looked up to see her proudly displaying two popsicle sticks (essentially half of her picture frame), "look," she cried, "I made a right angle!"  I congratulated her and then, thinking I was on top of things, asked, "that's a 90-degree angle, right?"  I thought I was going to impress her that I knew a little something about right angles - maybe even encourage her interest in math or something.  Instead, she and another 4th grader looked at me in shock.  Finally one of them sputtered, "but... but... Miss Emily... shouldn't you know that already?  You've already finished school!  Didn't you pay attention?"  Um, apparently not well enough.

I explained that it had been a long time since I'd been in fourth grade and that math had never been my favorite subject.  And I let them in on the secret that even grown-ups still have to learn stuff sometimes.  Later - apparently they were still worried about me - my math whiz (Alyanna) decided to tell me about obtuse and acute angles.  They wanted to know if I remembered what they were.  I said I couldn't remember what they were, but that I did remember learning about them - did that count for anything?  My second girl (Julia) said "no, but that's ok, Miss Emily, we know it's been a long time since you were in 4th grade... like 4,800 years ago or something."  "Nah," I said, "more like "4,700!"   For a minute I think they actually believed me.  Trying to think back quickly (again, math isn't my strong suit) I explained that it was probably 1989 or 1990 when I was in fourth grade.  Apparently that must have been the equivalent of 4,700 years ago to them because Alyanna's eyes got very big.  She stared at me for a minute then made a face and said, "but I wasn't even born until 1998!" 

And that's when it occured to me that this child had been born the year I graduated from high school - and she was now in fourth grade!  "Yes," I conceded, "I was in fourth grade before you were born."  "Wow..."  Though they didn't say it, I'm pretty sure my class was thinking "ahhh, so that's why she had so much trouble remembering!"  At least it's not as bad as the time I was working in the library as a seminary student and one of the college freshman was shocked to learn that I was not only alive but that I remembered 1987.  Granted, I was six, but I still remembered something!  Oh well.  I suppose this sort of thing will just keep happening the older I get.  I wouldn't necissarily say I'm ancient yet - I won't even be 27 for a few more months now - but I suppose things might look different if you ask a fourth grader. 

The good news is that I have these young spry children born in 1998 to help (re)teach me things.  After class Alyanna offered me a lesson on convex and concave angles.  Maybe next week we can go over long division again.  I could probably use the practice. :)

Starting to like sports a "Wii" bit more

This past weekend I did something I almost never do!  Daryl and I tend to live pretty frugally, so buying big ticket items is a major deal in our household.  But, he'd had his eye on one of those Nintendo Wii's for quite a while now (no, not exactly a must have, but a definite item of interest).  And, I have to admit that I'd gotten a bit intrigued myself.  I was mostly taken with the fact that you can still move around and be active while playing a video game - not to mention that the concept of moving your controller like you're actually playing the game is just plain cool! 

So, yes, we succumbed this weekend and we bought one.  (From what I hear, we were pretty lucky to even find one to buy).  Yesterday was Daryl's birthday (the big 2-9) and I decided that would be a really fun present to give him.  (The only bad part was that - being a $250 birthday present - I couldn't exactly surprise him with it!  That's not exactly an amount of money I'd just "blow" w/o checking with him first.  It all ended up well though - he was still excited :) ).  It was really fun to be able to treat him too - and so far I'm thinking it was actually a pretty good investment.  It's much more active than your traditional video game system (I hear people have actually lost weight by playing some of the sport games - I definitely wouldn't complain about that)! ;)  And, it's a good group activity - it will be nice, not just for us, but whenever we have people over from church - especially his Sunday School class (he teaches a college/singles class of 18-34 year olds). 

So far I've loved the sports games - which, if you know me, is really funny because I am about the least athletic and least coordinated person out there.  I was the kid who broke my arm in 6th grade while flying a kite.  Yes, I'm serious, flying a kite.  Charlie Brown would be proud! ;)  It wasn't windy, so I was running trying to make my kite go up in the air and, when I turned around to check the status of my kite, I tripped and fell.  I landed hard on my right arm (I think it may have also twisted at a wierd angle) and, sure enough, I was in a cast (a purple one) for several weeks after that.  In 5th-6th grade I tried playing basketball and made one basket the entire season.  I played soccer when I was 7 or 8 and still don't fully understand the rules.  So, needless to say, I am not exactly what you'd call sports minded!    

 Nevertheless, I have had a blast playing tennis and bowling - even baseball on the Wii.  And I'm actually "good" at it!  I'm kind of thinking that this might be a bit easier than real life though.  I got three strikes in a row the other day in bowling - and I think I've maybe bowled a strike once in real life!  In seminary, I interned with my church's children's ministry.  During a "back to school blast" outing we went bowling with some of the kids.  While I knew I wasn't great at the sport, I didn't know just how bad I must have been until one of my first-grade boys came up to me after several frames and asked, "Miss Emily, would you like me to teach you how to bowl?"   LOL!!   Perhaps he taught me a thing or two - but I think it's more that the Wii is just a lot easier than a real bowling alley!  Though, I will say, that Daryl - who actually took a bowling class in college (I think it was a P.E. requirement) wasn't doing nearly as well as I was.  He was trying to fix his angles and how much spin he put on the ball and all this sort of thing... and I was pretty much just throwing and hoping for the best.  As I told him, "my strategy is not to have a strategy!"  At one point during a game - I think I was at least 70 points ahead of him or so - he bowled a particularly bad frame and I got a strike.  He got very tickled, turned to me and asked - between laughs - "do you even have a clue what you're doing?"  I grinned and answered, "nope... but it's working!" 

I think I'll offer to give him some pointers this afternoon.  Ha ha!