so maybe i'm not quite done with xanga.  as exciting as facebook is, it doesn't allow me the ability to vent and complain about how much life sucks.  i mean, i could post crap on the wall...but that would be awkward...you know, posting on your own wall?

for example, if i only had facebook, i wouldn't be able to complain about the fact that my truck got broken into wednesday morning.  keep in mind that i had just woken up from 3 hours of sleep due to studying for the two tests that i had that day.  of course, i find the driver-side window shattered as well as all of my cd's, the faceplate of my stereo, and all of my speakers gone.  needless to say, i wasn't able to take those two tests that i had spent so much time on.  so began my cynical state that is yet to end.

honestly, i'm having a hard time getting over all of this.  school, work, club, sing, and friendships have stretched me out farther than i bargained for this past month.  and along-side the sleep deprivation, i must say that the break-in was the thing i needed to push me over the edge.  and no matter how hard it is, it feels like i still have to act like everything's okay.  no one wants to see a debbie downer, right?

unfortunately, this has been a week of unfortunate events.  from one thing to another, it seems like i've lost more than what it seems, and i can't put my finger on what it is that i no longer possess.  i can't say that my trust in people is where it used to be, nor is my faith in reality.  i can't say that optimism is my strongest attribute right now.  how can i say that i'm satisfied with the world when after losing roughly 600 dollars worth of items, i still have to pay 100 dolllars to fix a window that i had no part in breaking.  perhaps it's my cynical side talking, but this week has sucked. 

but we all go through rough times.  i'm constantly reminding myself that there are much worse things out there.  and it's fine if you have a situation that you feel deserves more recognition than mine.  far be it from me to say that my situation deserves precedence.  all i know is that this is the most helpless i've felt in a long time.  we've all felt this before in some time of our life.  but all i can do is wait for these events to cease so i can continue on the way i was before.  the little confidence i have is my belief that things will get better somehow, eventually. 

worried?  don't be.  already, many of you have addressed your concern, and while i appreciate it, it's not necessary.  if any of you know me at all, you'll know that i prefer to figure things out on my own.  and if any of you know me extremely well, you'll realize that i will figure them out eventually.

Currently Listening North By Something Corporate see related

dear xanga,

          we've almost hit our one year anniversary...and we've had our times of despair, i'll admit it.  the hours i've spent with you, i will forever hold dear to my heart.  but i must relinquish my growing unfaithfulness.  her name is facebook.  i know what you're thinking, xanga, that she's so new to hardin-simmons and that you've always been faithful to me, but we must not forget the time you deleted all the comments forcing all of us to feel like losers.  but i will visit you often.  this new love in my life will never replace you as a friend. 

                                                                                     with love,

                                                                                              norman

Currently Listening Give Up By The Postal Service see related

so, i was just doing my business in the moody center bathroom.  i mean, when it comes, it comes, there's nothing you can do about it right?  so, i throw the doors open, i jump for joy after realizing i will face my endeavor without an audience, i find a stall, and i plop down and start my business.  as i'm losing weight, i spot a couple of flies flying around, which doesn't really surprise me since bugs are rampant everywhere.  they land onto the floor, and just stare at each other.  i found myself captivated by this moment in nature: a staring contest between two organisms with no eye-lids...but that isn't the point that gave this situation a spot on my dear xanga.  without any warning, without any sort of hesitation, the smaller fly just jumps onto the bigger fly.  now, i'm not really a biology genius, so i can't say that i'm absolutely familiar with the reproductive activities flies commit themselves to, but they were going crazy.  as they were shagging, i couldn't help but be engrossed by these two sex-fiends, even though the entire situation was ridiculously inhumane.  here i am, sitting on the toilet half naked, watching insect porn.  needless to say, they stopped humping each other after 20 seconds, which i haven't decided is good or bad in fly terms.  then after a minute, they decided to shag again. 

i thank god for allowing that to be the highlight of my day...vale.

Currently Listening B-Sides By Damien Rice see related

so, i got my parking permit yesterday.  somehow or another, the fact that they are the size of russia managed to escape my mind.  dearest hardin-simmons, i fear that your preference in sticker size is becoming quite a problem in my life.  not only do i believe that they are insanely uncool, but i can no longer look out of my rear-view mirror.  you may think that it's imperative that the population of abilene knows which school i go to, but i'm pretty sure i value my road-safety over flashing my school colors.  so, whenever i get into my next car accident, at least everyone will know that i am a commuter.  i'm pretty sure we need to have a talk, hardin-simmons, it's for your own good.

on another note, i must make a statement that i do not hate who i am.  those of you who remember may recall a certain incident that may have occurred last week where i was involved in a cheer that seemed to mock my own kind.

disclaimer: i do not hate who i am and i do not need a therapist.

oh nso, you've given me the reputation of an asian hater.  but that's not who i am!  i love asians.  in fact, i eat with chopsticks every opportunity i can.  some of you may recall that my mother and i have even gone through this, the conversation ending with her famous quote, "norman, you don't feel bad about being asian".  so, hoes, i'll admit that the yelling out jibberish idea might have been a little bit overboard.  in fact, if i recall correctly, it kind of killed the fun atmosphere that we were all enjoying that fateful night.  but may i say, once again, for the record, for you bizatches, that i love my people.  there, i said it.  we all make mistakes.  and contrary to popular belief, even my people make mistakes, mostly involving car accidents, but the point is that we aren't perfect.

and yes, i still miss london and seeing the word "erected" plastered everywhere.  there are just some levels of class that america will never achieve.