oneuglytwin's Xanga

Friday, July 21, 2006

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 01:29:03 GMT

I love Emma so much. It was hard at first, but now it is not so bad being a mother. I am a single mother and that does suck, but I will get over it. I am working on it. Emma is such a sweet heart. She is starting to smile and giggle. And she really likes her bottles, if you dont make them fast enough she will tell you about it.

If you are a single mother you get lots of discounts too, you get cheaper insurance, you get to go to school for free and you get discounts at other places. Its exciting. But its no picnic either, getting woke up at 6:30 every morning for a bottle, and not be able to go back to sleep until 10:00 really stinks, but now I am starting to feel like it is worth it. Everytime you tickle her feet and she smiles and giggles it makes it worth it.

Her dad might be a complete peice of shit but she is a little angel. I dont see how something so sweet could have came from such a bastard. But it did and at least right now she looks like me and is nice. Hopefully it stays that way. I know right now she recognizes me and she has no idea who her daddy is when she sees him, which is sad, but its his choice he's the one who doesnt want to see her. One day he will realize how much he has missed.

I can say that I hated be a mother at first, but now that I have adapted I truely love her and I would kill for her. If fact I would like to kill her father because I know someday when she realizes what is going on it is going to hurt her, and it is sad becasue I know no matter what I say she is going to blame her self, but it really stinks. But oh well what can you do. I am going to protect her in every way I can. Anyways well Im off!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Sun, 07 May 2006 17:28:47 GMT

I am now a mother. I had the baby two weeks and one day ago. I had a c-section. She is a beautiful baby girl. Her name is Emma Lynn. Well I must go.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Wed, 12 Apr 2006 23:45:17 GMT

BLAH

I went to the wonderful doctor today, and then I was admitted to the hospital because my blood pressure. Hahaha But luckely I was released in the same day, and I have to go back to the doctor again tomorrow. Today I am 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant, and the doctor will not induce you until the 37 week, and tomorrow is the 37 week, and when I go tomorrow they will decide if they are going to induce me or not.

Hum... No comment. But if I do not get induced I am on bed rest until I have the baby, and on bed rest you can only get up to go to the bathroom. *tear* Oh well well Im going to go eat pizza.

Toodles

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Sat, 08 Apr 2006 06:53:12 GMT

Hey.

It is technically Saturday and it is 5:45 in the am. I would like to go back to bed, but thats not going to happen. I keep having these dreams and once I wake up, there is no going back to bed. My dreams are all baby related in some way whether it is me giving birth in the dream or me hurting the baby in some way, you name it I have dreamed it. Today I dreamed that I had my baby shower and at was at Wal*mart, and one of my family memebers that attended died there. I dont know why I would dream something so stupid, but I did.

I am sitting up by myself and I hear funny noises out side, so if I get killed by a psyco neighbor or something, it was nice knowing all of you.

I fell down the stairs today. It was raining outside and I was wearing flip-flop shoes (becasue that is all that fits my feet right now!) and I fell down the stairs on the porch. I suppose you could say thankfully I landed on my back, but I would have to say my back disagrees, and I bruised my arm. I was hoping it would cause me to go into labor, but it appears as if there is no hope for it. *tear* I tried to stop eating for a day becasue I have gained "too much" weight, I ended up crying because I was so hungry and I gave in and ate. My brother yelled at me and told me that pregnant people do get fat and gain weight, but it still didnt help. So I have decided I must eat, because I cant afford to sit around and cry. It takes too much energy.

Well Im going to go do dishes, laundry, and take out the trash. Our house is a pig sty! I hate living with six people and two nasty fucking dogs. If its not one dog causing trouble its the other!!!

~Stephanie~

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 09:33:41 GMT

Today is Sunday. I have no plans, except trying to sleep. I went to bed at midnight and I work up again at 2. I've been awake for over six hours and I have taken two sleeping pills and they do not work. The doctor gave them to me and told me they would work, but so far nothing.

I worked at the Thunder play offs on Friday, and channel ten was there and they wanted to get shots of the merchandise and I moved away from the stand to make sure my ass wasn't in the picture, but needless to say the bitches came back during an intermission, and took a shot of me selling shit, so my whale of a ass was on TV on Friday night. I wanted to go find the blonde bitch that took the footage and shove her huge microphone up her ass. I didn't want to be on TV for a reason. I have already gained too much tucking baby weight, and I am trying to avoid being seen by too many people I know. Then that bitch snuck back to the stand and shot my big fat belly hanging over the merchandise. My mom told me it looked like I was hiding a large watermelon under my cloths. Oh well. Hopefully there is such a thing as Karma, and when that woman looks her fattest, she will have to show it all to the entire city of Wichita!!! HAHAHAH

I have less then a month until I must pass this watermelon through myself. I am looking forward to getting it out of me, but part of me wants it to stay inside for ever. I don't want to have to clean up someone else shit. I already have to serve enough people, now I really am going to have to jump when the baby tells me to. The baby says waaaaa, I pop out the boob and tell it to shut up, if that doesn't work then I have to its change dipper, and if it still doesn't shut the beggar up, then I give it to the dad!!, or the grandma!!

Every time I have a pain, I pray it is a contraction. I'm not really sure what a real contraction feels like but apparently when it happens I will know. My body has decided to retain all the water it wants and if I stand up for a while, my feet will eventually look like a hobbits foot. I think its funny. Its not attractive, but who's trying to be. If I could hide behind a large rock and only show my fact I would have about a 1/4 of a chance of being successful. But with out the rock its about 1/1,000 of a chance.

Well if anyone ever feels like hanging out, give me a call. I only go to school, and sit around the house. So I am available pretty much all of the time. Unless I'm in bed, then you wont be able to get me up for nothing. Well I am going to go eat some breakfast, then give it one last attempt to go back to bed.

If anyone ever wants to contact me call 371-8459 it is my new number, well not too new, but most likely no one has it. Adios.

Stephanie

Friday, February 10, 2006

Fri, 10 Feb 2006 21:49:18 GMT

Well.

I am currently now one of the people sitting on their ass at home and it feels great.

I go to school, and I sit on my ass. I took a leave from work and I am nbot scheduled to come back to work until June 25. Hahaha granted I am poor. Ah who gives a rats ass.

I am having a girl..... and I have like two and a half months left until she is supposed to be born but I have already been having contractions. The doctor said they feel real but they are not. Hurray!!! I have pretend contractions. They are called braxton hicks contractions. This was the reason I was able to take a leave from work, when these babies happen, they hurt and it hurts to move or talk when then happen. Hahaha. I am already getting punished.

Me and Jason decided we were going to name our girl Emma Lynn Louthan-Otte and I thought it was a wonderful name. And it was very funny when I came to find out that Michael Perkins just happened to name his little girl Emma Lynn Perkins. I had no idea of what he had named her, but I think it is crazy. I thought of the name on my own and its staying that way, but I think it was crazy that we had came up with the same name.

Well, I am going to go to bed. It is 8:45 and well I am tired. So bye bye.

Stephanie Louthan

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Tue, 15 Nov 2005 16:19:46 GMT

Well that good news is Im gone!! Outta here like the dust in the wind..... Or something like that.

I have made the decision, I am packing my bags and leaving. I am transferring to Salina. The good thing is I get to keep my job at Sams and I will be getting a pay increase just for transferring to Salina because they make more in Salina. Who would have thought. A small town would make more than Wichita. Oh well I guess its a good thing for me!!!

I have almost all of my stuff moved down, now all I have left to do is go to court the day after Thanksgiving, and then I will be gone.

I am going to get a cat as well. I used to have a kitten, but I gave it away because everytime I tried to pet it, it ran from me, but I am going to try again.

Well I must go do more work.

*Stephanie*

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Thu, 10 Nov 2005 12:35:42 GMT

Oops!

I missed my typing test this morning, Oh well I am considering packing my bags and moving to Salina. I know it is really small and there is nothing to do there but drink. But thats not too bad. I could work at Target and never have to work at Sams again!! It would be wonderful! A blessing to tell you the truth.

I could keep an eye on my worthless boyfriend and make sure he doesnt cheat on me again. He says hes not going to, but all it take is some red bull and vodka and he is fucking out!!

You would think since I am carrying his offspring that would be enough to keep him from cheating on me, but I herd from his roomates that he said since i was pregnant he could sleep with who ever he wanted... I dont think it works that way, I can sleep with who ever I want, the damage is done nothing else could happen. (Which I have no intentions of sleeping with anyone else I am not a complete whore.) But if he goes around sleeping with other people then the whole town is going to be knocked up with his offspring.Granted I must admit my boyfriend is pretty damn ugly I dont understand why I am having to fight off these other two bitches. I think he is slow. Or either we are slow.

Oh well. The good thing about Salina, he told me if I moved there I would not have to pay rent!!! Yeah! But since he was fired from his job, someone is going to have to pay the bills and I imagine if I live there it is going to be me.... I guess thats the price of keeping an eye on people. Well I want food so see ya later!!!

*Stephanie*

Monday, November 07, 2005

Mon, 07 Nov 2005 19:17:46 GMT

Hum...

Well I passed my first post office test.. Now I have the typing test to take at 6:30 in the morning on Thursday. Oh what joy. I do not really wish to get up that early to type, but if it gives me the possibility of getting a pay increase then what the hell. I know in high school I could type 40 words per minute, hopefully I can still to that. If not then it looks like am going to move to Salina and work at Target there. HAHAHA. It looks like either way I am going to be stuck behind some damn cash register!! *tear*

I have two words Egg Nog.... Need I say more. I can't decide if I like that or Chocolate milk more. It looks like Im going to have to drink a gallon of each to decide ^_^

Well I must head off to the down town libary so I don't fail English 102 again!! Haha

*Stephanie*

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 18:20:44 GMT

Whats up??

I decided to write an entry because I have not wrote one forever. Lets see. I took a week off of work because of some difficulties I have been having. I currently have three court dates... I owe my lawyer over a thousand dollars.

I took the test at the post office, and I must say that I did not realize it was going to go so fast. Like the test is about an hour and a half, but the first half of the test you have to be pretty alert when you are taking it. I hope I passed it, because to tell you the truth I would rather work third shift dealing only with computers, than working at Sam's the biggest hell hole.

Well I take that back the Warren is still the biggest hell hole, but Sam's is the runner up. This member the other day got made at me because he had about 40 pounds of laundry detergent and he wanted me to life it all at once into the bottom of his basket, I refused and put them in the top and accidently broke his box as I was doing it then he told me he didn't want the damn box if I broke and he got mad because he said I was trying to break his pies. To tell you the truth if I was trying to break his pies, by god they would be broke. At this point he was still being a complete douche bag, and I was so pissed off at him I was shaking, and I showed him my name tag and told him there was a comment box on his was out, so on his way out he left a comment saying I should be fired because I refuse to do my job, and then he went and talked to a manager, and then I was taken into the office and I think I got coached. Which is bull shit but now I under stand that people think that we are not real people they think we are robots and have no feelings. But I hope he comes back thru my line someday. Its sad to think that people have nothing better to do in their lives but complain about other people and try to get them in trouble. I hope he gets what is coming to him, and I hope that is getting hit by oncoming traffic.

Hopefully I get on at the post office then for now all my trouble will be solved. Well Im going to go sit around my room and continue to do nothing alone.

*Stephanie*