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onewomaninaricefield
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Name: Erin Renee
Country: China
Metro: Hangzhou
Birthday: 5/14/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: Starting things, Writing, Reading, Literature, China, my students, Chinese, learning languages, making and eating soup, the smell of new books, traveling, balconies, coffee, tea, EFL, my green parakeet Huang Gua, publishing, the television show "Sex and the City," Asian babies, window seats, my family and friends, cooking, history, candles and incense, rollerblading, scarves, backpacking, translations, libraries and bookstores, the television show "Family Guy," opening a new toothbrush, gazing at the moon with English major friends, stained glass windows, umbrellas, finishing things, etc. etc.
Expertise: English, Writing, Literature, EFL.
Occupation: Education/training
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
8/29/2005
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| Life goes on and on. And it's usually boring. At least, in my case at this moment it is. Update for those of you who may still be reading this now boring blog. I'm still working at Starbucks. Still searching for a better job. Still fighting this awful sickness that was triggered by something crazy in China. Bah humbug. Still trying to figure out what to do with this blog. I think I may post an update every once in a while to keep it active until I move overseas again and have something more interesting to say about life. | | |
| Well, it's been a long time since I've written in here. Obviously my life in the US is not very exciting. I keep ping-ponging between different things and ideas that I want to do. Because of the crapptacularness of the job market in the US at the moment, I am employed at Starbucks (which is a rather annoying job, but at least I'm learning about coffee and their rather interesting business practices) and living at home, saving as much money as I possibly can and looking forward to the day when I can find a better job so I can get out of here. Searching, always searching. Although I loathe the idea of a comfortable life with a huge sum of money (preferring instead the idea of a comfortable, simple-living life with just enough money), I'm finding that at this point in my life the amount of money I am making is directly related to my happiness. I think this has something to do with the intense pressure of student loan payback as well as starting out in life and achieving my dreams and goals in relation to the sad and at times completely unrealistic amount of salary of entry level job positions. The American Dream seems to be aptly named, particularly for recent college grads. Older generations were lucky to be able to accomplish it with relative ease, while in this world of continuing complication the younger generation finds themselves with the rug swept out from under their feet (interestingly enough this is also a product of the older generations....but perhaps I'll blog about my thoughts on that at another time). Perhaps even more interestingly, the "Land of Promise" no longer appears to be the US. I would be more likely to turn that name over to a couple of countries in Asia where growth is happening fast and furiously and money and fame and satisfaction can be had rather more easily. But I digress, for now. More shall come at a later date I suppose. Till I decide my path in life and the path of this once triumphant blog. | | |
| The hardest thing about this whole coming back thing...all the reverse culture shock, reacclimating yourself to your former native culture, etc. etc. is that you really are, in a way, very very much alone. I realized this today. My family is around, so are my friends, but I have had an experience that almost none of them can understand (perhaps with the exception of those individuals who have also lived outside the US for a while) and in that sense I am alone. I have thoughts and make associations that they will never really understand. It's certainly much harder than I thought it would be. | | |
| Wasn't it Gertrude Stein who said something along the lines of: "America is my country but Paris is my hometown"? Interesting that I feel the same way...minus the geographical location of "Paris" and inserting instead "Hangzhou." "America is my country but Hangzhou is my hometown." -Erin Renee Wahl (just in case I'm someday famous for stealing and mutilating Stein's phrase.) Strange to look out the kitchen window this morning and notice how blue and cloud-filled the sky is. Strange to drive my car. Strange to NOT take a bus, taxi or subway. Strange to read these books about China (I'm studying up now that I have access to literature) and realize that I understand everything the authors are saying. Strange to have access to literature again at all. Strange to see waiguoren or laowai (whichever you prefer to use) everywhere and virtually no Chinese people. I feel like I'm in a terrible limbo. I hope February 20th (the day I start my job) comes around quickly. Some days I miss China so much I can't breathe. | | |
| Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. That's all I seem to be doing these days. Waiting for my job to start. Waiting to get my first paycheck so I can pay off bills. Waiting to save the money to get out of my parents' house. Waiting to go to grad school. Waiting to leave the US again. I hate waiting. It's no fun. It's stressful. It makes me worried. No one ever said coming home was easy. What's easy is what's familiar and now China is what's familiar to me. So here I am in the US...waiting. | | |
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