onleexdreams's Xanga

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Wed, 02 Jul 2008 15:35:59 GMT

"It's sad when people you know become people you knew,
when you can walk right past someone like you were never friends,
how you used to be able to talk for hours,
but now you can barely look at them."

Monday, June 30, 2008

Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:26:42 GMT

1. From now on, my one and only best friend will remain SeHee Jo. I've tried out three different guy best friends and they've all let me down. Well, becoming best friends with one of them was just half-assed to make up for the fact that he chose to date another girl. I refuse to have another guy best friend ever again, they always want more. It reminds me of how they say girls and boys can never be just friends. If you want, you can prove me wrong.
2. I love Jocelyn Chan and Margaret Ng with all my life. I have no idea how I would have survived high school and probably college without them and I promise to keep them in my life always and to be there for them whenever I can though it will never be enough for how much they have been there for me. Mengfei Sun is special to me too.
3. I do tend to talk a lot if I have random things to say because I do not like awkward silences. Then people tell me to shut up and let them think to themselves and me to myself. This is why I kind of stopped talking to one guy because he said I talked too much. I just think that when you're with someone, you should take advantage of that, and then when you're alone, you can think to yourself.
4. I think I've become more open, so just ask me about whatever personal question you have; sometimes I might hesitate if I do not want to hurt you though.
5. I have not released my 'perverted' side at college much; I have not found people like me like I did in high school. But maybe it'll be something I only reserve for them.
6. I really like down-to-eath people, people that just take life as it is.
7. I exaggerate a lot of things that people do or say more than I should. This is why I vent on Xanga.
8. I probably am still a blabbermouth, but the people I tell it to usually don't really care about what I tell them or do not relay whatever I say to others or forget easily.
9. I like gossip; I'm only human.
10. I do hold grudges; I just do not show it. But I think I'm letting go of that, but I still always remember what people do to me.
11. I do not wear make-up. Only chapstick.
12. I still cannot swallow pills.
13. I have lost my appetite for shopping; I am so picky nowadays. Also with the declining economy and how consumerism is bad for the environment, it makes me think about my perspective on life. But I know I will need to buy more professional-looking clothes.
14. I still do not really know what I want to do for the future. Right now I'm an accounting major. I've pretty much given up on pursuing medicine because science is just not in my genes. I hope I can work for a nonprofit organization or join the PeaceCorps.
15. I will meet Judy Nguyen one day.
16. I can live without texting and talking on the phone.
17. I think wearing Hollister, Abercrombie, and American Eagle clothes is stupid, no offense. I have good friends who buy into that, and I still love them, but I do not understand why everyone is obsessed with dressing up like everyone else.
18. I like Wheat Thins and Sun Chips. It's merely a coincidence that that good food is healthy.
19. I don't like it when I go visit someone and they fail to entertain me.
20. I don't let it show when I'm pissed off or disappointed in you. I just go and vent to my closest friends, and they calm me down, and I get over it and realize I made a big deal out of nothing.
21. I am adopting.
22. I refuse to get married except for a parental figure for my adopted child.
23. I like writing letters and giving cards to make people happy.
24. I seriously think girls who dress in a skanky way are asking to be raped.
25. I really admire people who get into Ivy League or seriously top-notch schools, even though I know it doesn't mean everything, but I'm just really envious of them and wish I could be part of their world.
26. I have no regrets because I feel it is pointless since there is nothing you can do to change it. However, if I could go back and change things, I would erase my first and start off with someone different, or do more in high school so I could have gotten into a better college.
27. I am agnostic. I think it shows that I'm humble enough to believe there is ahigher being, yet smart enough to not believe in everything a religiontells me to.
28. I'm very cynical. I don't believe relationships at this age last.
29. I don't leave people. People leave me. Except if you're really annoying or I think I'm a nuisance to you or I don't want to lead you on.
30. I have not once drank alcohol yet, except I might have during a truth-or-dare at a friend gathering because one of the dares was to eat an ice cube with either was lemon-flavored or sake-flavored, and I might have tasted the sake one. But willingly, I am waiting until I am of age.
31. Smokers are disgusting. I have no tolerance whatsoever for people who purposely destroy their body.
32. I tried to get into sports, but then I stopped. I think I was only doing it for the sake of him, but I know it might be useful one day and I don't like being a girly girl.
33. My parents won't let me learn how to drive until I'm 20ish and they want my sister to learn with me, even though she's a year younger.
34. I used to like calculus, until I took calculus three. Getting a 5 on my AP Calculus BC test was one of the proudest moments of my life; it showed I might actually be good at something, and I worked really hard for it. Then again, this reminds me of how I got a 99 on my Spanish Regents so I continued taking Spanish, which was horrible.
35. I'm learning Chinese because I feel it will be useful and I don't want to throw away my roots, but I feel like I will never be fluent.
36. I want to study abroad in a non-typical Asian country like Thailand, Malaysia, Indonesia, Singapore, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos, etc.
37. I enjoy my sleep. If I did not have any work or stuff to do, I'd go to sleep at 10:30.
38. I don't understand why people cut class if they're paying money for it.
39. I like to watch dramas so I can laugh at how stupid people are, like One Tree Hill or The Hills.
40. I don't drink soda or coffee or eat junk food or candy. Rarely. Unless it's free or my friends order in. Except ice cream.
41. I love dark chocolate.
42. If you poke me on my sides, I'll jump or make random noises. I'm really ticklish.
43. I have white hair. It's hereditary, but I think stress causes it too.
44. Music gets me through a lot of things.
45. I prefer cold weather, not windy weather, over warm weather. I like wearing hoodies.
46. I wear sneakers all the time, except in my room. And my sole pair of flats and flip flops only because I don't want them to go to waste.
47. I don't think I want people to give me material possessions anymore, all the stuff just accumulates and I have nowhere to put it. Just spend the day with me, my mind can never be full of happy memories<3
48. I'm not much of a hug person as I thought I was.
49. I suck in my tummy when I see obese people.
50. If I'm envious of you, especially if you go to a top-notch school, I'll pick at little things about you to make myself feel better.
51. I don't know where I stand with teenage drinking and sex.
52. I wonder if I'll be legally blind eventually, since my eyes are already really bad, and I haven't really cut down my computer time that much.
53. I don't wear jewelery. I used to wear a bracelet Jessie got me, but I lost it :x And I have a necklace my aunt gave me, and I try to wear it sometimes.
54. I believe wearing certain things will bring me good luck on my tests.
55. I think college is overrated; I just want it to be over with.
56. I like people who don't forget about me.
57. I've learned to trust people less, except for the ones that have proved faithful all throughout.
58. I have a digital camera not really to upload pictures, but to print them out.
59. Fast food is disgusting. Well, anything like McDonald's. If you consider Subway's one, then there are some exceptions.
60. The most useless gift you could give me is a stuffed animal. I have no purpose for it and it's a waste of space. I love you guys, but if you get me one, I will seriously hurt you.
61. It's extremely rare to see me in shorts or skirts. I'm extremely insecure about my lower half, and I don't mind withstanding the heat.
62. I still use Xanga, MySpace, and Facebook.
63. Flowers die, so do not get me any.
64. I have no hobbies. I should really find some.
65. I want to have a life outside of going online all the time.
66. My family is not perfect; my youngest sister gives us so many problems.
67. I like being with people who are easily amused by me, like Se Hee, Aiko and Stephie :)
68. It annoys me when people still type LyK diZ. I mean, I did it too at one point, but it's time to grow up.
69. I like it when people remember my birthday, especially people I wouldn't expect to :)
70. I've trained myself not to go online on my birthday because it makes me sad when people forget what day it is.
71. I like to sleep with one pillow and one pillow only.
72. I retired from using the "fobby" sign. None of that around me, thank you.
73. I find it mean when in the DVD's under subtitles there's English and then it says for the deaf and hearing impaired. Why can't I just have captions for the sake of it without being deaf or hearing impaired?
74. I don't like carrying purses.
75. It annoys me when people upload albums with 238490353 pictures on Facebook. I give up after viewing 20. Stop wasting our time in posting every single picture up of the same thing over and again.
76. Same thing with people who change their Facebook statuses so constantly. Do people really care what's going on every second of your life?

25.

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 16:07:21 GMT

1. You are the most chill black person I know :) I'll never forget the times you cared and waited for me and listened to my problems even with your 300+ friends in your phone book.

2. I love that our friendship is evolving and that you're easily amused by me so I love hanging out with you. We may share very different views on what life should be spent on, but I accept the person you are because you accept me. I'm constantly in awe of your many talents and skills and wonder what you're doing with a talentless soul like me. Your birthday card touched me so much, thank you.

3. In losing one friend, I gained your friendship, which I'm ever so grateful for. I wish I could have gotten to know you sooner but I'm glad I did in time because you're so down-to-earth and you don't let circumstances change the person you are. Thanks for taking the effort to teach me lessons that you learned from your mistakes and not leaving me behind. I really do wish you success because you definitely deserve it. Gah you wasted three text messages worth of my money, foo.

4. You're the first person to ever truly betray my trust.

5. I approve of your boyfriend :) I guess you don't read my profile but thanks for the in-style chunky bracelets, hehe ;D Oh, and I love your handwriting in script!

6. You annoy me a lot, but then other times I feel guilty about feeling those things toward you. But then when others feel them too, I don't know. I would try to cut you out except one person doesn't see this flaw in you, so I guess I'll still make this last as long as I have to.

7. I love you guys, but I feel like I spend more time with other people than with you, and when we did I felt us drifting and that makes me sad. At the same time I know you'll always be there for me to make me feel special and that you'll never forget me.

8. We talk so much online, in which I basically tell you everything, but then it comes to the point in which I have nothing to say to you in person :x Ah! But you're still very important to me, and I'm very grateful to have you there to keep me company.

9. I loved hanging out with you at the mall the other day. I thought it'd be awkward like other times since we don't seem to click as well as you and two of our other group members, but it was actually quite memorable and enjoyable, so it gave me hope that maybe I'm not completely losing my touch with some of my friends.

10. I'm not completely sure why you value my friendship so much, maybe it's because of the things I gave you in the past, so that is why you put an extra effort to call attention to me, but I appreciate it a lot and I only hope I can return the favor.

11. Seriously, you taught me a lot about how time heals. Thanks for still thinking about me on my birthday and for not wanting me to leave. I wish you good luck with your relationship and hope it doesn't end up like mine, but I know you're not a jerk like he was, and just be smart, okay?

12. I tried to take a chance with you, but I guess that was just me being desperate, so you're free to go your merry way.

13. Girrrrrl, I'm so glad you're back in my life (: I love hanging around with you because you're another person who always gets so easily amused by me, and everytime I talk to you online, you're always laughing at my sillyness. You're one of the few people I can carry a conversation on the phone with, and I'm glad we have this bond about abandonment. I don't know why anyone would ever want to drift apart from you. Sometimes I feel like you are flakey, but I guess that's just because you're busy, but I know that you won't ever leave me behind and forget about me.

14. I really hope to attend your eighteenth birthday party, and I'm still waiting on your letter and bulletin!

15. We must hang out soon, big bro.

16. We also must hang out soon; I like the fact that even though we barely talk, I know you always care about me and I love that it's never awkward between us.

17. We were supposed to hang out, but it's okay :) I've always known you're flakey, but I know you'd rather spend your time with others, but I'm happy for all of our memories. Don't change yourself too much for him, you're perfect the way you are, and if he can't see that, then he's not worth it :x

18. I'm sorry for being jealous and negative towards you. I understand now that you are not the one responsible, but he is, and I shouldn't incorrectly displace that anger.

19. I thought you were more classy than that.

20. I like the fact that even though we hardly ever talked, you always seem happy to see me and ask for hugs from me (: You're really pretty too, be safe from that creepy guy :x

21. We've lost our connection, I believe. I'm not sure if it's the bond from elementary school that's holding us together, but I know that you're still someone I can rant to and won't know the heck who I'm talking about, hehe.

22. I don't know why people warn me about you, you seem like a decent guy to me, but we shall see.

23. You're one of the coolest guy friends I have. Even though you're mean to me, you have your moments, like that time I was ranting to you and then I disconnected and you called me to make sure I wasn't crying or cutting myself. I'll miss you when you're across the country but I know we'll keep in touch :x

24. I'm getting bored of your DS now.

25. Recently we started talking and even though it's been a while, I find it interesting how I can tell random stuff to you and I don't feel weird about it or whatnot. You seem like a down-to-earth person but at the same time I don't know if I should trust you completely because of what others say and think about you. It's amazing how I used to have all these negative thoughts towards you and now I find all of that silly, maybe it's called maturing and growing up. I don't know if others have come to accept you yet, but I do base my opinions of you on what others have to say as well. I don't know where this is going, but thanks for putting in the effort to restart our friendship and for caring here and there o_o

Monday, June 09, 2008

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 10:12:07 GMT

Jocelyn Amy B. Amy Z. Karoline Goretti Edna

Mina Winnie

Aiko SeHee Margaret Ken Grace Jessie Stanley Nick

Thanks for remembering and being a part of it<3

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 22:42:15 GMT

Hi Grace :)

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Thu, 27 Dec 2007 08:56:39 GMT

Goals for 2008:

1. Leave this place.
2. Go to Judy Nguyen's 18th birthday party.
3. Gossip less.
4. Exaggerate less / create less drama for myself.
5. Be a better best friend.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Fri, 30 Nov 2007 13:45:54 GMT

"Be loved but never love. Attach but never combine. Trip but never fall. To be broken is better than shattered. Tell him of your strength but never of your past. Be trustworthy but never trust. Be cracked but never open."

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Wed, 23 May 2007 19:22:51 GMT

"If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following. There would be:

57 Asians, 21 Europeans, 14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south, 8 Africans;
52 would be female, 48 would be male;
70 would be nonwhite, 30 would be white;
70 would be non-Christian, 30 would be Christian;
89 would be heterosexual, 11 would be homonsexual.
Six people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth . . . and all 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing;
70 would be unable to read;
50 would suffer from malnutrition.
One would be near death; One would be near birth.
One (yes, only one) would have a college education.
(One would own a computer (a year ago no one had a computer).

How could the wealthy 6 live in peace with their neighbors? Surely, they would be driven to arm themselves against the other 94 . . . perhaps even to spend, as Americans do, about twice as much per person on military defense as the total income of two thirds of the villagers. When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent."

-Stanford professor Phillip Harter didn't write this, but he found it so compelling that he sent it along to his friends.