| I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I need to always be in close range of you. I know we may be far from perfection. I know that I have messed up everything in the past. And yes, I know that you may never fall in love with me again. But I want you to know that I have fallen for you. Even if it means that I have to give up my dreams. Or if being with you means living in an apartment in Kansas for the rest of my life. No, that isn't a loft in New York or a house in California. But it is a life with you. I used to think that I never wanted to settle down, at least not this fast. I have told you that I wanted my college life to be fun and that I couldn't be with just one guy. I know I wasn't faithful last time. I kissed when I should never have. And when we were in that off/on time this year, I went off on some tangent because I believed you would finally get jealous and want me back. I just thought you would see that i was something. During that time you wished you had some other girls. It hurt me. The idea that I would never be good enough for you. The fact that you didn't want me forever. We, more I, just messed up the wonderful thing we had going on. We are far from a perfect couple. You despise a lot of the things I stand for. My hobbies are things you fall asleep during. You hate it when I sing. I hate it when you get to drunk. It seems to me like we balance eachother. You help me calm down when I freak out. That I do a lot. And I feed you, and take you out, and help you study. I try to do everything I can to make you happy. And you hold me when I am sick. And you make me macaroni. And I try to make you breakfast...well that one time. The only time I have ever been truly happy, is with you. Yes, I have cried in your arms over stupid things. I think I have gotten better at that however. You still don't trust me, but maybe soon you will know that you are the only guy I will ever want. Honey, I love you. I may be far from the perfect girl. I do not have the perfect body, I am not a playboy model, I can't buy you everything you want, and I cry way too much. But here I am, and you don't want me. I am not your girlfriend and you donn't love me. Those are labels you are refusing to go by. I will have to get used to it, but if that is the only way I can be with you, I will abide. Love me, be mine, trust me, I love you, and just you. Please understand that every word of this is the truth. I swear I won't lie to you ever again. I know we aren't perfect and I am far from it, but we can make this work. I love you honey. Let me be your baby girl again. Julie |
