mmm… ever since I switched over to google chrome, I just forgot about xanga… well, I’ve been super busy, and by tomorrow I’ll be free again, so I might write more often. Or not. I’ve been reverting back to my LJ, and as soon as I can find a better layout for my blogger, I’ll do it too, hehe. So many things to do, so little time. Everything that’s been culminating for the past 3 years is going to depend on this one exam, so I’m very freaked out at this moment. And thus procrastinating REALLY REALLY HARD. Ok, back to studying before I get a nervous breakdown.
April 30, 2009
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So I wake up bleary-eyed and walk out of my room, ready to go see my orthodontist/jaw specialist. As I head for the bathroom, my mom pops out of her room and says, “Hey, did you know that we have rattlesnakes?” I slowly turn around to stare at her in stunned silence, and she continues on by saying “I saw a small one near the recycling bins and garbage can. I heard this rustling noise and thought it was the wind going through the leaves, but then I saw this snake hiding behind the garbage can.” So naturally, she goes to take a look, and it crawls into a cactus. She described it as having a triangular head, thick body, and pointy tail. Of course she isn’t sure if it’s a rattlesnake, and when she was trying to pronounce it to her coworkers, they were all looking at her funny since she was saying it as “lettah-suh-neh-ick.” Believe me, you should have heard her pronounce “snakes” couple years back… She was calling it “snacks,” LOL. Anyways, at this point, my dad turns around from his laptop and tells me while chuckling that my mom said that she didn’t see the bell on the snake and didn’t hear any ringing sounds. Rattlesnake in Korean is called “bell-snake,” so at that point, I was dying with laughter when she kept insisting that the snake didn’t have any bells attached to it. And no ringing, tinkling sounds either. I had to google her a picture of a rattlesnake after that. AND explain that rattlesnakes have RATTLES, and no bells attached to their tails. AND THEN after I showed her the pictures, she immediately decides to go looking for the snake again, and my dad just shakes his head and tells me that I made a bad move teaching her more about rattlesnakes. 5 minutes later, I see her outside with a garden rake, poking around the bushes with renewed vigor. I asked her what the HECK is she going to do if and when she finds one, and she replies with absolute certainty, “That’s what your dad is for.” -__________-;;;; Yes, that’s my mom for you.
And when I come home, I asked her if she told our neighbors about the snake, since they have four kids who like to frolic around the garden. My mom laughs and says, “When I told the neighbor, she went straight to the bushes, bare-handed, and started to root around to find the snake.” Very alarmed, I said, “Didn’t you tell her that it’s a RATTLESNAKE???” And my mom replies, “Oh, she knows, and she said that she loves snakes so she wants to find one.” O_O For once, I found someone stranger than my mom…
Oh yes, I just spend 2,300 bucks to get fitted and tested for my mouthpiece to fix my TMJ. 2 HOURS! It was very weird, but I guess it’s for the best since my jaw cracks now. Scares me when I yawn and I hear *SNAP* I’m getting acupuncture for the pain, and I’m pretty used to having needles in my face now. It’s good to have high pain threshold, I guess.
March 30, 2009
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Wow, I haven’t written in this thing for a while. But now that I’m in the final stretch of my program, I really need to focus on my studies more. Quite ironic that I’m studying more than I ever now, instead of doing this earlier in my undergrad years. What was I thinking…
Anyways, I cut my hair! It was time, since 1.) it was freaking heavy and giving me constant neck problems, 2.) I don’t think it can grow any longer… it seemed like the growth rate slowed down. I donated it, since that was the plan… I was going to give it to Locks of Love, but when I went to get it cut, the instructor (I went to Vidal Sassoon Academy, btw) told me that I can donate to a local place where the guy will send me the picture of the wig made by my donated hair and the person who’ll get it. So I agreed, since Locks of Love doesn’t do that. So…. now my hair feels uber short, and I’ve always felt very iffy about having short hair, since the last time I had short hair was in elementary school. I’m not sure how I should style it, but I think when I have some free time, I’ll just go mess around with my brother’s Gatsby stuff. My hair is really layered right now, so I think I can make it look very funky, haha.
Now, I can easily predict that I will be too lazy to do my hair most of the time, so… hats are in! Bwahahahaha~ or hairbands… Well, until summer that is. I can’t wear beanies in 90 degree weather, sadly.
January 28, 2009
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I just can’t seem to have enough motivation. Motivation to go to the lab, go to the gym, even go to the mall. I believe I am in a funk. Hopefully I’ll get out of it by the time spring semester rolls around…
…and so, instead of having a productive day, I decided to go through all of my perfume oil collection… I realized that I have a lot, and some of the ones I liked changed after it aged (or my tastes changed, I guess). But some I like even more after it aged, like The Hesperides and Dana O’ Shee from BPAL (Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab). I used to be so into this until I moved out of the apt and back home… They have some really cool scents, and I love all their themes, which are mostly goth/romance/dark… Not sure how to describe it. I can’t do alcohol based scents, so I prefer perfume oils/lotions/balms
I NEED to watch Confessions of a Shopholic~ muahahaha~~~
January 17, 2009
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See, I was about to write on some topic, but right before my personal xanga page showed up, the ad for the Uninvited movie contest showed up. Uhhh… no I do not want to write about my scariest nightmare and then win a showing to invite MORE nightmares. How twisted is that???
Anyway, I guess I haven’t been keeping this thing updated… I’ve been pretty lazy, now that I’m on “break” (which I’m not, since I’m still taking classes anyways). I am glad to say that LAC-USC’s new towers are pretty freakin nice. Way to use government money! I haven’t seen many interesting patients there yet, but it’s only the 2nd week… 4 more to go… hurrah… I’m honestly scared that I’ll graduate without adequate amount of knowledge and skills, but we’ll see in about 5 months… and the test… and job applications… *sigh*
So it’s the new year and all… and yes, this is the year that I will turn a quarter of a century old. Yikes. I’ve always thought that people become more serious and act age-appropriate as they pack on the years, but nope, it hasn’t happened. And now I’m scared that my mind and my physical age will never synchronize. It’s just odd to think that I’ll be like this even when I’m 40 and 50 and 60 and so on…
Well, my circadian rhythm is not a rhythm anymore (one more thing that will shorten my lifespan, yay), so here I am… crocheting. HOW THRILLING! But yes, it actually is, as well as many other forms of crafts. I hauled a lot today from JoAnn’s and I plan to add one more craft under my belt this year: embroidering! Well, I was going to tackle silk painting, but then quickly realized how expensive that will be… But right now, I’m crocheting, and I realized how handy it is to make wrist warmers and wear it while I’m typing (preventive measure for carpal tunnel syndrome!). It’s very cushiony, and I like it~~~
November 11, 2008
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I believe my life started when the blinds came off.
When I was exposed to the less-than-rosy version of life… and discovered that THIS is reality as it is… It was… not pleasant at all.
Remember how there are supposedly nine circles of hell? Well, it feels like there are nine circles of reality. One must adjust to the new rules and circumstances of reality when the old and the familiar slips away. Maybe “slip” is too soft of a word. I would have to say that sometimes, the realities are forcibly taken from you.
Of course, it is quite a tragedy, and there’s nothing I could have done to prevent it, nor can I gain it back. But have I grown wiser and more experienced from it? Probably. But that doesn’t change the fact that I long for those bygone days. The ones imprinted in your memories in rich sepia tones with hints of fondness and vivid delight.
But the memories I have now are all gaudy polaroid shams, gone in a flicker of an inconsequential flame and easily replaceable. Have I lost the ability to make vintage memories? We’ll see.
At least I am able to capture panoramic views. But I’m not done yet. Far from it… There are not enough snapshots of all the possible realities out there to fulfill my quest to define my own reality. I just need to live a bit more. Cry a bit more. Laugh a bit more. But above all, dream a bit more.Yours truly,
A semi-embittered and wayward optimist/pessimist.
November 5, 2008
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I did my part
…and I voted! For the first time in my life. And it just feels incredible to be part of history, you know? I was never really interested in the politics until now, but once your future is at stake, it’s hard to ignore what’s looming right in front of you.
…of course, I could have done without the constant haggling of my mom, telling me that voting “no” to prop 8 will shake the foundations of our country’s principles and yada-yada. PUH-LEEZE. And I saw people marching around with signs for “Yes to 8!” around my neighborhood, and it was literally thiiiiiiis close to running them over with my car. Um, in case you haven’t noticed, this country was founded on the principles and values of freedom, equality, justice, and liberty. And it seems like proponents for Yes for 8 are deluded into thinking that they have protect marriage or something. I’m sorry, but can someone explain to me how gay people marrying each other will shake the relationship with your spouse? It just boggles my mind. Mmm this is why I’m scared of religion. I mean, it’s great to believe in something that is a source of comfort and strength to people in times of need, but to use that to deny others of their freedoms is pretty darn ridiculous and NOSY. I’m sure most people MEAN well, but the problem is that these people who put religious beliefs before others’ beliefs don’t try to understand that religion doesn’t come first for everyone. It’s not a priority, and just because you think it’s good for you, it doesn’t meant that it’s good for others. I’ve been struggling with how to approach the nature of religion for a long time, and I have pretty much decided for myself that it is not a priority. I do think that it can be beneficial for many people out there, as long as their faiths and beliefs do not harm others. I just think that it is easily used as a tool for manipulating people, and sadly, that is exactly what it has become. It is sad to see that such practices occur in a country that clearly wanted separation of state and church (Hello? Revisit Protestants and Church of England, anyone?)
….in the end, I just want what is FAIR, EQUAL, and JUST. It’s not about right or wrong, since those are subjective. I want everyone to have the freedoms and opportunities that I enjoy, and I want to enjoy all the freedoms and opportunities that everyone else enjoys. And if that’s possible by the end of the day, then I’d say that’s pretty darn fair.
September 18, 2008
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small update
I guess I really don’t have the patience to write entries anymore. I’m burned out, haha
So I’ll just list a few things…- School started (already in 4th week, 14 more weeks to go)
- Bought more jeans (big surprise)
- Foresee much suffering, partying, studying, and repeat cycle in the future. Yay.
- Working on call for nursing float pool. Which means I have no idea which days I’ll be working. Fun… not.
- Will work with moms and babies and kids soon… Not sure if I’m looking forward to it or not.
- Remind self never to get a boob job. It looks pretty bad when you’re old. Or maybe people should take it out before their skin starts sagging. Trust me, it’s not pretty, nor practical, on the operating table.
- Reading lots of fantasy books… Haven’t read the vampire crack that Stephanie Meyers writes, but I’ll check it out soon enough. As soon as my queue for the library books moves up >:O
- Still watching kdramas… Current ones are: East of Eden (MUST SEE FOR ALL), Beethoven’s Virus, Kingdom of the Winds, Tazza (it means gambler).
- Anticipating the return of Heroes next week… It’s been too long!
- Need more sleep
- Eating dimsum on a regular basis. Anna is happy
- Parents home all day for the next 2 weeks… Not so happy
August 15, 2008
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Turning into mush…
Ugh. I haven’t written anything in a while, mostly because I spend my days trying make my brain catch up with my body and vice versa. I truly believe that time goes by faster as you get older, and it’s not a happy feeling. But it just gives you more perspective and insight about how one should go about structuring their goals, schedules, etc. My 4th week of internship is over, and 2 more to go… I think it is safe to say that this is a love/hate relationship… I love how we get to see the different units but hate the hours. HATE the hours! 12 hour workdays! But now I’m getting used to it, so I don’t fall asleep as often as I did the first week of our clinical rotations. I got to see a lot of procedures and actually experience how the RNs work in their natural setting, versus our school clinical rotations. I’m sorry to say, but the school clinicals are not realistic in terms of how the RNs spend their day and manage their duties. I’m not poring over the drug guides fanatically, deciphering physicians’ handwriting (although I read it better now), and catering to the whims of every patient. I think that’s pretty impossible, actually. But enough of the boring part. What I liked so far was discovering all the different procedures out there, and all the different types of nursing jobs out there. And man, there is A LOT. I just learned yesterday that you can become certified to become a hyperbaric chamber RN… how random is that?? It is a cool place, though… The cardiology RN has it pretty nice, too. All she does is run stress tests and transesophageal echo. And so now when people ask me what specialty I want to go into, I really can’t answer that because I know there’s so many choices out there. I really feel excited about becoming a nurse now, and this internship was a great opportunity for me. Well, it was also a pain in the neck when we had to study for our EKG classes, but at least we got a certificate out of it… :T So yeah, the past few weeks I was all about nursing, and will be doing so for the remaining 2 weeks.
Okay on to the frivolous stuff. After Iljimae ended, I was kinda bummed, but I still have Shik Gaek (Gourmet) and Every Night going on, so I’m pretty good on my kdrama. What I am waiting for is East of Eden, which is hyped up to the max right now because of the star studded cast: Song Seung Hun, Lee Dae Hae, Han Ji Hye, Yeon Jung Hoon, and Lee Yeon Hee… Of course, I’m biased since it features 2 of my fave actresses (and yes, they’re both my age :O *suddenly feels small and unimportant*). Other dramas/movies I’m looking forward to are Iris (2009) and The Good, The Bad, and The Weird (which is gathering huge hype for its cinematography, stellar cast, action scenes, and script… but we’ll see about that).
I got a new phone… motorola something… It feels weird to get a new phone after using one for 2 years, but I just could care less about phones… unless it’s purple… I nearly caved in to buying a purple razor, but thought better of it. Bah.
July 15, 2008
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books…
So it’s about time that I wrote an entry that is not so frivolous. Not that I don’t enjoy writing nonsense most of the time; it’s an outlet for me to clear my head and all. Better out than in, as they say (no, I don’t exactly know who “they” are). Therefore, I shall talk about some writers who had really made a great impression on me over the years. And the thing about books is that the essence of the book stays the same, but your impression of the book always changes each time you read it. It’s an absolute thrill and one of the most underappreciated joys in life. Or maybe I’m just too easily absorbed in nuances and such. Anyways~~
First writer to really challenge my way of thinking and eventually change my perspective about life is George Orwell. Good old George. That’s not even his real name, but whatever. When I first read “Animal Farm” in high school, it just started my quest for the solution (or least the alternatives) to the question of human nature, civilization, and the evolution of man. I was awed after reading “1984.” which henceforth became my favorite novel as to date. After Orwell, I also read Aldous Huxley, but his “Brave New World” was nothing compared to the works of the genius who is Margaret Atwood. Especially after reading her “A Handmaid’s Tale” and “Oryx and Crake,” I was happy that I’ve found the successor to Orwell.
As for nonfiction, I think Michio Kaku takes the prize for writing “Parallel Worlds” and opening my eyes to the wonderful world of physics, astronomy, and most importantly, metaphysics. The book that I picked up to read for fun became a delightful surprise. I can’t say that I fully understand quantum mechanics and relativity, but that’s the beauty of it: no one understands it completely so the field is always growing. I also picked up other books about quantum mechanics and the universe, but since I can’t stroll around the ucla bookstore anymore, I haven’t had the time to go regular bookstores to see if anything new came out in the field. That’s the benefit of a university bookstore: they like to stock books written by the faculty so you feel motivated to take their classes as well. *sigh* If only I can redo the university experience again…
I know people think I read a lot, but I actually don’t. I just read fast, so it looks like I read a lot, but only in one sitting. And I can’t tell you all the books I’ve read because half the time I’m trying random new books. Sometimes it’s a hidden treasure, and sometimes it’s a dud (yeah Anna Karenina, I mean YOU). I must say, those lengthy Russian novels are quite dreadful. It’s like an nightmarish marathon. Anyways, I know there’s more writers I forgot to mention, but my memory is so spotty nowadays. Early Alzheimers, hurrah.
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