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p1kky
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Name: Pikky
Country: Malaysia
Metro: Kuala Lumpur
Birthday: 11/22/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: Films, Music, Films, Audio, my beagle Jo-Z, TV, Theatre, Sports, Lomo, N random muttering.. and people on the same side of the field *winks, and life..
Expertise: None watsoever other than wasting my time, shooting aimless videos, driving around aimlessly, n being helplessly annoying..
Occupation: Retired
Industry: Entertainment
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
MSN: piklan_@hotmail.com
Member Since:
5/19/2005
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| and i put my palms together...in my life, ive laughed, ive cried, ive learnt whats wrong and whats right.. ive learnt existence is merely a concoction for pain and pleasure put into the same glass.. and to date, ive had regrets, ive made choices that makes me who i am today.. a person with a conscience and nothing but love for everything around her.. making my way out of the lost roads that i wandered onto.. im thankful for everything i have, for everyone in my life.. well, id like to think almost everyone.. they hold me together, no matter wat distance they may be.. mom, i love you and ill never be able to say enough how much i love u.. i wish i could be there to get that kiss on the forehead from u n dad.. dad, no child could be luckier than me for you have shown me what love and responsibility means.. i love you.. boy, u hold my weight up along with your own when im so far below the ground.. no sibling could ask for a better half to make up the family.. my friends, whom stick by me through thick n thin and tell me only wats best for me.. i love each and everyone of u and u all know it.. im glad to know that years after being apart, we still have nothing but commitment and love for each other.. my heart is big enough to fit a place for each and everyone of u..
and i put my palms together, look up, close my eyes and thank God for everything i have been blessed with.. i am thankful for everything i have been given, learnt, shared with everyone around me..
and i keep my palms together and continue to ask that there will always be hope and faith, not only for me but for everyone i care about and that things will always eventually get better when their at the lowest, and that things will get even greater, when things are good enough..
i take a deep breath, let my life flash before me.. smile..
and i seperate my palms, close my eyes and fall asleep..
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| why am i still dreaming?if im sure that im angry, frustrated, disappointed and upset, then why am i still dreaming of u? why do u come into my head when im forcing you out of it with everything ive got? when im doing things day in and day out so i dont have spare time to think of u.. when im on set, taking notes of production, i find myself writing about u.. i hate this.. i hate that i care, i hate that its supposed to be easy but yet so hard.. i hate that theres nothing else i can do.. i hate that all i can think about is going home, seeing you for one last time.. i hate wondering if ur ok.. cos im not supposed to care.. im not supposed to put myself through this.. cos i dont want to.. i fucking dont want to.. most of all, i hate myself for letting it get this far, for knowing that despite it all, im missing you so much... n wouldnt ask for anything more than just falling asleep next to u.. God, i am an IDIOT.. caps dont even make up for wat an idiot i am.. the moments come n go like their supposed to.. but i wish they would just go n not come back.. ive taken everything out, ive put everythin away, ive thrown watever memories i can out of my system... yet, just yet, here i am.. flipping a coin, letting a coin decide for me whether or not to do all the things i wanna do eventhough its not right.. yes i heard it.. im fucked in the head aint i? im all over the place.. apparently, its supposed to be normal that im all over the place.. im glad that tears arent falling down my cheeks like i thought they would.. but its even more painful to have thoughts n dreams of u than crying.. its the things we dont see or hear or think about that hurts most.. when it comes when we least want it to.. get out of my fucking head, get out of my dreams.. wasnt it a mistake from the start? then why am i still dreaming of u? why am i still waking up to dreaming of u right next to me? note to self : ur too nice.. u care too much.. u should learn to be a bitch n not care.. u should learn that life, even though tattooed onto your skin, will hurt u straight through.. its a hard knock life.. chin up, n walk straight on.. dont look back..
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| the shortest chapter yeta chapter that came and went.. it was good so i dont know wat went wrong.. giving me happiness yet taking it away.. loving cautiously, heymun mentioned to me.. i dont see the point.. loving and committing would mean loving completely and letting yourself free fall and trusting that person to catch you... i made my case by loving helplessly, selflessly, for better or for worse.. time n time again, i look away just to make things meet at the crossing point.. i always believed in compromise n ive learnt that i can do that.. ive learnt to gain more patience, ive learnt to not make everything a do or die situation.. i think i did everything i could, or maybe i just missed something out.. must i become cruel so i wouldnt be amazing n nice.. so i wont be taken advantage of? either way, its too late n im hurt.. im hurt either way.. i miss us so badly just being away from everything.. n im the shitface who's still sitting here contemplating wat to do next? pack up n move on.. thats wat im supposed to do.. right.. but i guess its over now.. it hurts cos trying hard, was not hard enough.. it hurts so bad... this song reminds me of everything..
"Time After Time"
Lying in bed I hear the clock tick and I think of you
Caught up in circles confusion is nothing new
And you say go slow, I fall behind
Second hand unwind
If youre lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall i will catch you ill be waiting
Time after time
Sometimes you picture me im walking too far ahead
You're calling to me I can't hear what you say
And you say go slow, I fall behind
Second hand unwind
If youre lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall i will catch you ill be waiting
Time after time
After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray
Watching through windows you're wondering if I'm ok
Secrets stolen from deep inside
The drum beats out of time
And you say go slow, I fall behind
Second hand unwind
If youre lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time
If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall i will catch you ill be waiting
Time after time
time after time
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| memoriesi heard this song n memories kept pouring into my head.. before i left, the both of us were going everywhere n
spent most of our time driving around.. n sometimes when we stopped at traffic lights, we'd lean into each other
and sneak a kiss, sometimes a lil too long that the light turns green n we dont even know it.. n coincidentally, this
song seems to always be playing everytime we kiss in the car.. i can remember those moments so well... every
touch, every breath, every movement... i close my eyes and i can see it so clearly still in my head.. wat i wouldnt
give to be back in the car again... listening to this song... sigh...
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| arms of a womanmy current mellowness..
"Arms Of A Woman"
I am at ease in the arms of a woman.
Although now,
most of my days i spend alone.
A thousand miles,
from the place i was born.
But when she wakes me,
she takes me back home.
Now, most days,
i spend like a child.
Who's afraid of ghosts in my mind.
I know, there aint nothing out there.
I'm still afraid to turn on the lights.
I am at ease in the arms of a woman.
Although now,
most of my days a i spend alone.
A thousand miles,
the place i was born.
When she wakes me,
she takes me back home.
A thousand miles,
the place i was born.
When she wakes me,
she takes me back home.
I am at ease in the arms of a woman.
Although now,
most of my days i spend alone.
A thousand miles,
from the place i was born.
When she wakes me,
she takes me..
Ya, when she wakes me,
she takes me back home.
When she wakes me,
she takes me back home.
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