|
pOeTiKaLLy_iNkLiNeD
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Ivandora
Gender: Female
Interests: Singing, writing, and dancing. Going to church, meeting new people, and taking fun-interesting-long walks.
Expertise: Listening to your hopes, fears, dreams, aspirations, goals, and your music LoL!
Occupation: World-Changer.
Message: message me
AIM:  poetik923
Yahoo:  eye_vah2005@yahoo.com
Member Since:
5/18/2004
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| [deep sighZz...]After four years of being together, it's crazy how we still fall in love with each other likes it's brand new. I was talking to "tHe bOO" last nite who's in Washington for a family reunion, and I was telling him about the recording session this past Saturday. He was VERY quiet as I was sharing. I didn't know if his quietness was cause he wasn't listening, or because he was not liking what I was sharing, or maybe it was that he was listening carefully. After I got done sharing with him what was in my heart, he just said, "Babe, I believe that singing is what you're supposed to do." My eyes just got so watery because I haven't shared this with anyone, and I've been really seeking the Lord for peace about all of this. He continued to share, and man, all I could do was just sigh deeply because I was trying not to cry. He encouraged and comforted me and gave me the reassurance of God's word.
A few things he said really caught my attention.
[1] You're in school because you NEED to be. He's so right, because I'm just not a 9-5 kinda person. I"m very eclectic, I like to do different things everyday. I have no set schedules for anything, and I'm pretty spontaneous. If I wasn't in school, I'd be working, and God knows I would get bored QUICK, so for now working on a regular is not for me; therefore, college is where my steps have been ordered.
He also said, [2] Singing is your thing and you'll have the rest of your life to do it, so don't worry about not doing it now because in due time it will come to you. He's SO right about that one...I wasn't even thinking about the futuristic view, I was just thinking about the here and now. I can be dumb sometimes LoL! He's also right on this one because singing has ALWAYS been a part of me, so it will never come to an end no matter where I'm at in life.
[3] I will support you in ANY decision you make Baby, as long as you take it up with God first. Danggggggg, this dude is TOO much! Encouraging me in such ways, but also putting me in check by letting me know that God's will is far more important than my will or my parent's will. [deeps sighZz] oh I LooOoOoOoOooooVe dis boy!!
See...so many people get stuck on "oh they're just another boyfriend/girlfriend deal." However, with Romeo and I, it feels like so much more than that. I mean yes, we have our little disagreements and what not, but our love for each other always out weighs the bad. Yes I'm in love with him, but he's also my BEST friend! Had I been pouring out my heart with all of this to someone else, I don't know if I would have received the same reassurance I received from Romeo. Even after 6 years actually, he still finds a way to let me know that he understands me..I mean, I'm a very hard person to understand sometimes, but HE GETS ME! And [deeeeeeep sigh...] I LOOOOOOOOVE HiiiiiiiiiM!!!
| | |
| my heart's ONE desireThis past Saturday our church choir recorded our first three tracks for our very first album and it was AWESOME!! As long as I've been singing I've never been in a real studio, so this experience was one to be cherished!! Upon walking into the recording room we passed a hallway of albums that went gold and platinum mounted on the wall, and it was FULL of well-known artists: The Temptations, Boyz II Men, and Queen Latifah, to name a few. My heart was pounding so fast because this was a place that just felt like home. Then the time came for me to do my solo....WooOoOoOOOooOoW!! I had such a great time with it, the music engineer was filling my ear with all this blah-zay blah! LoL...anyways, my heart was just over-joyed that I FINALLY got a chance to lay down a track and it just felt so good to be there doing what my heart has ALWAYS wanted to do.
My parents and siblings were there supporting me taking pictures of me with everyone's cell phone and I was like WHAAAAAT?! Is this really happening?? Even with all this going on in my heart, reality was still beating inside. I chose to pursue my college career instead so that I have something solid to fall back on as a young polynesian woman. My current major is another something that my heart is passionate about, it's just that music has always been the one thing that I've carried with me from the time my mother carried me in her womb, till now. I can only see myself falling even deeper in love with music as the years go by. I so badly want to do something MORE to head in the direction that my heart has always wanted to go....but I'm just afraid that it'll only bring failure and disappointment. I mean, I'm not the greatest singer out there, and my vocal range could use MORE than alot of help, but one thing I know for sure, I'm one of the MOST passionate people you'll ever meet who LOVES to sing even when their voice is shot!!
More than that, I love to sing for the Lord because it's the one thing that keeps my fire burning for Him. I want to write music that glorifies Him to the FULLEST. I want to dedicate every song to Him for every storm I've been thru that He's pulled me out of. I want to write songs that people can listen to and relate to in their walk with Christ. There's not many christian artists out there who I can feel on a one on one level...their lyrics just seems so cliche. My passion for music requires me to go underneath the surface to pull out nothing but the BEST and express it through my vocals and my lyrics. Gosh, I wanna sing so badly!!!!! So my prayer lately has been that God just lead me. The bible says, "delight yourself in the ways of the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." and well, this is my desire...music&singing...in less than a month I'll be returning to good ole springfield as an RA so who knows how this will go...only God knows!
| | |
| It's a NEW day...I feel like such a bum...I woke up late today yet AGAIN, however, I feel well rested. Well rested enough to do some studying in the word. My youth leader asked me to take over the girl's high school bible study every Wednesday for the month of July, so I took up her offer. It'll give me the chance to get closer to the younger girls in my youth, also it'll give me a chance to share my heart and share what I have learned since I've been away at bible school. I admit I'm a bit nervous being that my high school days have been long gone, so I have been having to dig within my heart of hearts to remember what my life was like and what condition my heart was in during my high school years so that I can meet these girls on their level.
I don't think it will be too hard, it's just that I know when I was in high school I could read BS from any teacher a mile away LoL!! So I know these girls tonight will be watching my life and watching my words and they MUST match! So God, I ask that you cover me COMPLETELY! Hide me in YOUR favor because I will surely need it on this new day. Please renew my mind and renew my heart so that I can be able to teach your word and apply it to my own life.
One more thing...these girls better not act up tonight! I remember in high school, we'd make fun of our Sunday school teacher...she was just a F.O.B.!!!!!!! OMGoooooodness!! I'm laughing hystreically right now cause all the memories of her FOBish moments are floating to the surface LoL ahahahhahaaahhaa!! Okay seriously, I need to log off and go study. Alrighty peepZz, SEIZE THE DAY!
| | |
| aRe yOu KiDDiNg me???So as I signed on here, the home page said..."XANGALEBRITY-How to become one!" Are you frikkin kidding me right now?? Who the heck would wanna be known as a Xanga-Celebrity?? UGH!! How annoying is that?? Not to mention, Oprah's show yesterday was titled "You Tube Video Stars" ARE YOU SERIOUSLY KIDDING ME?? What has this world come to? Everybody is trying to be noticed and get noticed for something...and they're trying to get paid for it. I mean hey, I live in the hood, so I know all about the HuStLe. I'm all about the hustle! I mean everyone's gotta make a living somehow right?! But going as far as trying to be a celebrity on Xanga and video taping a dog on a skateboard...I mean come on now! Whatever happened to HARD WORKING people? Honest to God HARD WORK? This is how lazy America is! Land of the Free...yeah free to be a bum and do nothing with your life. Home of the brave...yeah, you're so brave to stand against the tv screen all day LoL ahahahaa!! What a crack up!! No wonder why kids today could care less about graduating and going to college...it's so much easier to find a trade and make a living off of it. I mean I LOVE to sing...it's been a dream of mine to lay down a few tracks...but because I LOVE what I do, I'll do it for free any day! I mean if anything, God gave the talent to me, so I just want to give it back to Him! I don't wanna make millions off of a talent HE blessed me with...shoot...if Heaven had an address that's where all the money and checks would be forwarded to...YUP YUP!! I leave the money making up to my degree [:
Ok sorry I just blog on that one! Anywho, I need to get out of here and do some studying in the word...Sunday is an inch away! Love you Xanga folks...whoever reads any of my thoguhts LoL!
| | |
| iF SoMetHiNgZz wRoNg..I love you SoOoOOoOo MUCH! I see your countenance has fallen...I'm not sure why it has but it has. I understand and realize your life situations and I want to be here for you to the BEST of my ability. You and i have gone thru SO MUCH! We could pretty much write a BIG OH BOOK! Maybe we could title it, "The Chronicles of our Sistership" LoL!!! SUPER corney!!!!! AHahahaaahahahaa!!! But back to being serious...I know something is eating you up and that you are just dying to set it free...so please don't tell me nothings wrong when clearly, you wear your expressions on your sleeve. I don't wanna know right now, because I understand you're not ready...but whenever you ARE ready...I would LOVE for you to PLEASE give me a call and I'll be sure to give you a shoulder to lean on. I see other people keep asking you if you're okay and you tell them the same that you tell me, but becuse we're as tight as we are...it hurts that you give me the same answer you give everyone else...or maybe...nothing really is wrong....YEAH RIGHT? You expect me to believe that Sis??? Uhh....i think NOT!! You should know I know you better than that...after all, I predicted who your husband would be [;
I just want you to know that I'm here for you. I'll be here for you for as long as God allows me to. And I don't want you to feel like you're burdening me with your feelings. If anything, you would relieve me of a burden of you pour them out! Okay?! I love you Sis! I don't like seeing you like this...that frown is so not you [;
| | |
|
|
