papaoma's Xanga

dear ones

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 18:53:52 GMT

I have not blogged for many days now - papa is weaker and no longer able to eat by himself so I go up for all meals - he does not eat much but I like to make sure what he can eat is hot- he slips slowly each day and yet surprizes the nurses and doctors- they do not understand how he is still here but I know that it is in God's time and His will will be done- I miss him here so much- the house is not feeling like home right now- I do stay some nights but that is sometimes too much for me if he is not restful-

I pray for his suffering now has he is in great pain from pressure of laying down even though he has a fancy new kind of hospital mattress- his pain from the cancer is less -

I am battling this walk now and having a hard time and can only manage to hang on to the Shepherd- I do not understand but I do know where papa will Go when his life here on earth is done- that is what gives me strength -

I will try to blog soon again- sometimes it is too much to share my heart as it feels so barren- thank you for praying for us

huggles Meme

a few minutes

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 18:30:46 GMT

home for a few minutes trying to catch up on the home front-- papa david is getting weaker and at times has difficulty breathing- i try to spend a lot of time with him-

he does not do well with out some one he knows as he is too confused to think and does not understand some of the things happening around him=

he has a nice big room now where I can stay with him day and night

here the weather is great today so maybe I can take him outside later to sit in the sunshine

he can only sit for short times

we are hanging on to the shepherd as we have no where else to go.......

he might come home for a few hours pass tomorrow but not sure yet-

love you all and will be back when I can

huggles Meme who loves papa enough to let Jesus come and take him home soon

"Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually."
~Psalm 105:4
flowers from our house to yours

sunday nite

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 01:06:26 GMT

I have been away from here for a few days now- dear hubby is in the hospital in our town

for comfort care - It will be a miracle if I can bring him home again and miracles still happen- I spend a lot of time there as he gets so anxious and is so ill- he forgets he cannot walk and does not understand why he can not get up

we need strength for us to keep walking in this valley- it sucks- and I know that God loves us and He is our shepherd but this is a tough tough walk--

Miss Ashley is still here keeping out of my hair--LOL

I forgot that teenagers come with a phone attached to their ear and seem to be dirty a lot as they change their clothes much too often------oh, and they are known for walking on their clothes--LOL - guess it is saving me on rugs

must go as it is late and I need to be back up in the morning-----

"He drew me up from the desolate pit, out of the miry bog, and set my
feet upon a rock, making my steps secure." ~Psalm 40:2

huggles Meme

our day

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 01:31:29 GMT

my day was 3 loads of laundry--dishes--then I moved stuff so I could get a clear run to the kitchen for papa in his wheel chair- our house is very small so not wheel chair friendly but with a bit of shuffling and moving out I was able to get a path to take him to the kitchen ( he is too weak to move the chair himself )- he was so excited as he has not been out of the living room since June 5= he can only walk about 5 feet now so we move from bed to chair etc. and we have a good potty chair for his bathroom- all this is set up in the living room so he is with us- the wheel chair just fits through the door ways with elbows tucked in- he was so happy to go for a ride from living room - through the dining room and into the kitchen- now he can watch me make supper etc. he is in bed now and so I must be too- good night-

huggles Meme

a note

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 02:24:02 GMT

to say that things are difficult here for papa and I

he can only walk about 6 feet at a time and

only a few times a day

so we move from chair

to bed and a potty chair- he can no longer use a walker or cane etc.

so I lift him and hold him tight - our slow dance

we are content and filled with joy and sorrow

the days are long and the nights are short

I sleep on the couch to be close to him- now

we know what love is-

I will try to update soon

soft huggs from Meme

today at our house

Sun, 08 Jun 2008 01:14:20 GMT

rain and rain
papa david had a hard slow day
he is forgetting things now
needs help eating but can still do some skills
muddles his thoughts but somehow able to make a come back
to get his thoughts understood-
my thoughts are confused
Father- your will be done - I seek your peace and comfort
huggs Meme

small note

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 01:49:10 GMT

can only come on for a minute- david has taking more steps backward- he is now on a morphine pump to help with pain- he can no longer do meds by mouth except for tiny ones that can go under the tongue-

pray for my strength as he can not walk unassisted----and it takes a long time to go from bed to bathroom and back again-

I will keep him home as long as I can- but I can see that that time is getting shorter- we have no hospice - and the hospital here is not a good place for him to spend his last days- so

thank you for praying and holding us up

Meme (papa's wife)

so glad I have you all to help with thoughts and prayers

home today

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 00:26:05 GMT

I was able to bring papa David home today- he is weak and tired and so happy to be back home and so am I--I will tell more tomorrow night but it has been a busy day=hugs and hugs

HUGGLES ME, MEME (PAPA'S WIFE)
GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU

tonight news

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 00:47:59 GMT

just got home a few minutes ago as spent most of the day with David although I did come home once for a nap......he is looking better- just very weak and tired but still not really sleepy- we had a good day and I was able to look after most of his needs- now I am tired and just catching a minute or two here and then off to bed--Dogman is getting fed up with me coming home alone--he keeps running out to the gate looking for papa- plus there are less snacks happening here too--LOL

the g'kid is out which is nice for her and me- a teen can wear you out just watching them - she decided that it is a good thing to be friend to some ants and has fixed a house complete with food out side our gate for them- sigh- told her that eventually they will take over the house and we will be living outside the gate--Oma will have to find some ant powder for them to eat-- shhhhhhhhhh-

must go, my friends - my tummy is in an upset so I will just lay down for the night-

when Oma is an old lady she has plans too

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with my kids,
And bring so much happiness...just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture while wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
Then I'll dump it all on my bed.

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, 'She's so sweet when she's sleeping!'?

(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)
Bless All Moms and Grandmas Everywhere!
Copyright © 1991 -- Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, OH

HUGGLES ME, MEME (PAPA'S WIFE)
GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU

22 pounds

Thu, 29 May 2008 00:34:10 GMT

David is in the hospital here in our town for a few days- he was to weak for his chemo and they are not going to do any more for now........or most likely never but that is ok- he is just too weak

they were able to drain 10 litres of water off of his tummy or about 22 pounds- he is ok having that done and not too painful-he is in more pain from the cancer so they are increasing his pain medicine to higher dose- I will be with him quite often- please tell the group- I love you I have just not been able to read right now due to time etc - I must go to bed but I wanted you to know where we are at for right now==huggs and huggs

HUGGLES ME, MEME (PAPA'S WIFE)
GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU