All about my "marriage" One day, I was at a reception for parents of students at Word of Life Bible Institute (WOLBI). At this reception there were four tables of refreshments, which had various finger food including a fruit salad at each table. The very first table I went to I was across from this random girl and we both started picking out the pineapple. So we started talking and we realized that we both LOVE pineapple and random stuff like that. We continued to the next three tables picking out all the pineapple from every single fruit tray. After hitting all the tables, we waited until they were refilled and we did it again. By the time they finished serving food, we had collectively eaten around eleven platefuls of pineapple. Needless to say we had quite a good time. We were planning on using the sweet plastic forks that they had to eat it with but we gave up on that and put the forks in the girl's (Kiersten) hair instead. After all the hilarity of sticking forks in Kiersten's hair and eating eleven platefuls of pineapple with our hands, we were tired and sticky. So we went over to the nearest garbage can and washed our hands in it. This is not to say that we actually bent over and rubbed garbage up and down our arms in a vain attempt to clean them. Rather, we were just lazy and instead of going to the bathrooms to wash, we just poured water over our hands into a garbage can. I wrote a song about this wicked fun event. Ode to Pineapple Escapade By: Jordan Walters Pineapples are yellow and green, The best fruit I ever have seen, I like it best, When it is fresh, The flavor is almost obscene! <chorus> Oh pineapples, pineapples, You are the best thing there is, You are so fine, Won't you be mine, Myyyyy…..DELICIOUS YUMMY LITTLE PINEAPPLE!!! Basically forks are fantastic, Please don't do anything drastic, If you drop a fork, It will go KAPLORK! Especially if it is plastic! <chorus> Thus concludes this escapade, It is the best we ever made. Ocean sands and rubber bands, We washed our hands in a garbage can! The very next week, WOLBI had this thing called pick-a-date. Basically how it was described was like this: "Ok so in pick-a-date, each guy chooses a girl to go with his roommate in a group to a certain destination to have fun. You will either find your future wife, or have a really good and maybe embarrassing story from this experience." Well Kiersten wrote a poem about this whole experience. Here it is: PICK-A-DATE! (a twelve stanza poem) By: Kiersten Delbury Once upon a time there was a night called pick-a-date. Dayna (so convincing) said, "c'mon guys, it'll be great!" We figured out our partners, some romantically, some not, It was fairly entertaining to see who everybody got. We were all prepared, getting ready for the night, When Dayna did approach, her darling visage filled with fright. "You guys, I have to work! You'll have to go ahead.... Don't worry about me (I'm fine) I'll do..homework...go to bed. Now that was unacceptable, Jordan and I knew, We could not just leave her here, feeling "oh-so-blue", "We need to scheme (BWA-HA-HA!) do you have a clue?" "I'm thinking...hmm...I don't know...what do YOU think we should do?" "What if we were to blindfold her? (Don't give me that weird face!) Just hear me out let's kidnap her...take her to someplace!" "What about the balloon fest? We can meet our friends... I'll get some random guy to drive!" (Insanity begins.) -LATER- Kiersten approaches (oh-so-suave) "Dayna, how you doing? ..Yes this Libarachi blindfold here MAY distort your viewing But you need to come with me - we are going out, A girls date night, Dayna trust me, there's no need to doubt! She didn't doubt, she came along, she placed her trust in me, The four of us rode in one car (Jordan silently). That was the best part of the night...I am not gonna lie. Jordan didn't talk at ALL (a huge feat for THAT guy!). Arrival! (after getting lost)...the traffic was horrific, We asked a guy how for it was.."3 miles?" Oh terrific. We parked the car, all got out, decided we would "hoof it," And people tried to run us down, "Stupid kids! Now MOVE it!" After walking (blindfolded) our blisters were all forming, But once we showed up at the place, our hearts were filled with mourning, For the balloon festival was closed, all the cars were driving out, We then decided it was time to go another route. We went to Walmart (just for fun) and ran around like kids, Trying on crazy shirts and shoes, Jordan and I hid. We had a scheming plan to set up Dayna and our driver, His name was Derek (I must say he kinda seemed to like her!) We went off, planning madly, left them all alone, (In the meantime I found out that Jordan is my clone.) We ran around avoiding them and then got back together, We knew that this night probably couldn't get much better. But then it did. We zoomed on home and Jordan and I grinned, We formed a handshake with a "Z", a heart shape, and some spins, We set up Derek and Dayna, grinning all the while, The entire night (I must say) simply made me smile. When we got back to the BI, Jordan kissed a horse, And then he got a training wheel, and had a blast of course! So in conclusion, I will say, the night was really great, And it truly was, (oh dear), THE ULTIMATE BLIND DATE!!!!!! Well there you have it. Now on to our marriage. One day I was standing near a table at lunch talking with Kiersten and Bethany, and this guy walks up and joins our little circle and starts talking with Kiersten. Little by little as he's talking he's moving in such a way that I get cut out from the group and he is now talking directly with Kiersten with no 'competition'. I didn't really think much of it until later when Kiersten came up to me and said, "SAVE ME!! That guy who was talking with me at lunch is REALLY creepy! During a class break he said to me how funny it was that I kept turning around during class. I asked him who he was and he said something along the lines of, 'Oh I sit two rows back and one seat over from you and it's interesting how much you turn around during class. Like today you turned around 12 times but you turned more to your right than your left and you're the only blond in that whole row.' And then I was like oh well now I'll be self-conscious about it and not do it anymore. Then he said, 'No! Keep doing it, it's cute!' Later on that day I was eating lunch at the same table with him and I said that I was tired and he piped right up and said, 'God didn't make you to be tired, He made you to be beautiful.' So I got up and started to leave and then he said, 'Are you too good to eat your desert with me?' so, being the nice person that I am, I sat back down and finished my desert rather quickly. Basically I need you to protect me from creepy guys." So I got to thinking about it, how does one go about saving a lady in distress without mangling, mauling, or killing the guy oppressing her? Well you marry her! DUH! So I made two rings and gave one to her and I wear the other ring and anytime some creepy guy comes around I'm (usually) there to protect her and if I'm not there my best man Tim does. Well not a week and a half into our 'marriage' when we already have trouble. Trouble after just a week and a half? How is that possible? Well your wife could lose her ring. I even had used a 'precious stone' to make it! (Of course that stone was a bead and I found it on the floor, but still). Of course I nag her about it pretty consistently (jokingly of course). Now she says that every time she walks into her room she gets an irresistible urge to just get down on her hands and knees and search for it diligently. Every time we "fight" (which is hard to do because she is my clone and it's like I'm fighting myself….makes for weird arguments) she says she's going to divorce me, and I always come back with you can't divorce without a ring to throw at me. (Or something to that effect). What's the most fun we have? Probably playing matchmaker to the whole campus. We have set up quite a few dates and couples. It's quite entertaining to match people up with potential dates. Next on our agenda is to throw a smashing birthday party for Dayna. We are going to send her on a supermassimegahugigantinourmous scavenger hunt throughout the entire campus. The end of my slow train of thought, Has left me in a desert drought, I wish I had determination, To see my train its destination. | 
) and she stayed for evening church and then I took her home. On the way to her house, we saw a house on the side of the road and the front lawn was covered with statues of dinosaurs and various other items so we stopped. The guy who owned the place gave us a tour and let us take some awesome pictures. When the tour was over he gave us each a chicken cup!! If you don't know a chicken cup is a cup with a string in the middle and a sponge at the end of the string. You get the sponge wet and pull it down the string and it sounds just like a chicken!! Very awesome.
