Well... it has been a month and a day since i have posted anything on my xanga site! Probably since i am usually on Myspace. Hense why i am posting on this site.. because Myspace is down right now for awhile.

::for the past hour i've been sitting here
typing; backspacing;writing && erasing.
editing; revising; && scratching.
i just want you to know --
spilling your heart out isn't easy::


wednesday night: i felt so happy/grand! i love that feeling that overcomes your whole body when you are with someone and you just feel safe, secure and cared for!  i haven't felt that in a loong time- all i can say about it is: it was great ! <3    tummy was in knots and heart was beating rapidly... love it!                                ¢¾simply unreplaceable¢¾
..............................................................................................................................................
..............................................................................................................................................

Currently working right now-- nothing to exciting. Nobody came to see me tonight :( but oh well, i cannot expect someone to  come everynight even tho it would be wonderful if that were to happen.

The fact that Christmas is only ONE day away now, just blows my mind. Not kidding you...
It came wayyy to fast for me. Maybe just the fact that it doesn't excite me as much as it did when i was younger, but still it is crazy how fast time is flying by.  Scary too...

reason for it being scary: well i just wonder where my life is going to go and what is going to happen. makes me wonder if certain things are happening for a certain reason or if it all has no effect at all on me in the end..  i hate thinking about this kinda stuff, makes me sad.

So on Tuesday Mariah and myself got our Nose(s) pierced once again! and then later the same night we got our Tragus' pierced too!!   it was fun! i love piercings.   That was the thrill for us on that day.

Danielle and I watched "Cry Wolf" earlier Tuesday night also. it was a good movie, really it was. So i suggest you all go out and rent it!



........
i wish i had someone to talk to. Like really really talk to, in depth and actually get the truth from them about anything at all.   Arugh, i don't even know how to explain this thought @ all. it is so hard for me to put my feelings into words.....  Sorry

like the impression i have on people, obviously i know it isn't the greatest but can't at least a few people give me a break. Once you get to know me, i really am not that bad of a person. It is just my outter Shell.  and i would give an example but i really don't feel like it at the moment.. but maybe i will, i have to think about it for a few min.

1.....2......3.....4......5......6......

okay- lets use my boy problems as a situation.
when i have a so called "Crush" on someone i am a freak, i will admit it!
i completely and totally change once i actually am able to be with them, and trust them completely.  Does anyone know what the hell i am talking about?? At all??
when i like someone, i wish they would just tell me how they feel and just come out with it, don't make me sit here and try to get it out of you, because we all know that that is really annoying and then really, just pushes you away from the person you are trying to get close to.
I like to get my feelings out there and usually that is what hurts me in the end, but i don't see the big problem with it..... can someone help me out with this aspect.
then if a guys trys to tell you that he doesn't know you good enough?! WTF!? what would be the fun part of going out with someone if you already knew everything about them. I mean seriously, i want to learn about the person and grow with the person, not already be to the point where there is nothing else to know.... thats no fun.     i guess all i really would love to have right now form a guy, would be a chance. a chance to show the real me and be myself, and have them want me for me... that would be great.    is that too much to ask for?      maybe....maybe not 
well i probably just wasted that couple min. it took you to read this and try to understand what i am saying, and for that i will say i am sorry. but if you, in any way at all, understand what i am trying to say about my feelings will you give me back a little imput?



alright i think it is time for Sara to go and uh...
well i don't have anything else to do but i will think of something to take up the next
Hour and 45 Minutes.
so to all of you who actually read this,
Good Night/Morning
&& thanks for listening to my problem(s)

<3 love ya