|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| in a sea of skinny twigs I stumbled upon this...
Beyonce is gorgeous | | |
| sup you guys!!!!!!! I know, I know, it's been forever.
but I'm baaaaack.
I'm not gonna mess with throwing up this time (cause I tried it and even if I felt that it worked, it made my skin look beyond shitty) I would rather be fat with perfect skin than skinny with hideous acne.
I weigh.....alot right now. I'm probably getting close to 160 X_X. haven't been that high before.
my self esteem, however, is not at all down the drain. I just really want to be thin is all. Other than that I feel fine :]
gotta drink lots of water and leave the chinese food alone. Or atleast just pick the healthier stuff. I mean I work at the chinese restaurant, and I know damn well what things are good and what things are bad for you, so I'm just gonna go with the big plate of light food, or if I honestly can't stand it, the teeny tiny plate of bad food.
-shrug-
You know, I was gonna try to just stop eating, but that's just so damn hard. (not that losing weight is supposed to be easy) This needs to start off slow, plus I know that my family is going out to breakfast tomorrow morning before my driving test. I would normally order some massive plate of nastiness, but I've made up my mind that I will only have a crepe or two with fruit. crepes can't be so bad, right?
I feel that I can make myself beautiful at this point. My skin isn't blowing up, I'm not obese, and I'm relatively tall and well-proportioned. Granted, I have my trouble spots....but hell, everybody does. and I should just concentrate on working those to my favor! I'm not gonna be the skinny girl with no butt and big boobs. I'll be just the opposite, and I have to learn to live with it.
anywho, hello to everybody! if you need my support or anything, please comment or IM me at ttkayxd
I'm always willing to talk, and I just want everybody out there to know that I support your goals (so long as it's not...you know....past ridiculous)
:D
I LOVE YOU GIRLS
<<<<<<<3333333333
| | |
| hey girls. I'm back!
okay here's what all has happened since I last posted.
I told a couple of my really close friends about my problems...that I had been purging several times every day and even if i didn't eat much...I would purge out of habit.
one of those people that I told turns out to be this -amazing- guy I've grown pretty close to....okay, so he's my boyfriend. I love him so much. I really do.
he has done so much for me...he makes me feel like a goddess. like my weight doesn't matter.
and while he was here I felt so h a p p y .
but he's gone away for two months in China. it's just...so hard. he's actually only been gone a few days, but the pain of not being able to talk to him hurts more than anything.
I'm slipping back into my old habits. I have been eating NON STOP. I can't control it!
so today I have decided to stay here in my room. I am not going to let myself pig out all day...instead I will do something constructive and support other girls and be helpful.
and drink a gajillion glasses of water
so that basically sums it up!
I've lost some weight at the beginning of summer, only because he and I hung out so much we would forget to eat. heh :]
leave me comments and support! I'm not looking to stop eating alltogether or to make myself sick...I just want to be sane again.
Y | | |
| welp I purged 3 times today.
we'll see if it actually pays off. cause I hatehatehate having sore throats...but if I see results, there's no doubt that I will keep this up.
-yawn-
i'm pretty tired....nothing to do.
I'm going over to my friend's house, which is fun...but we always end up eating really bad stuff. and I told her that I stopped making myself sick so I can't just sneak off and purge.\
it'll be really hard to eat right...I'll just have to try my best and exercise like mad when I come home.
CYA LOVES
STAY STRONG
<3 | | |
|
