gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. im so bored of waiting. the highlight of my day is getting the mail. u should see me. really. i'm worse than that blues clues freak. :(

somebody call me and ask me to hang out. :(  anybody. i'm a friendless loser. and very bored.

edit: i'm so bored im SINGING ALONG to a JEWEL CD

edit #2: and might i add, i'm sounding damn good

edit #3: thank buddha for Freecell

edit #4: "pleeeeeeeease dooooooon't bring me flooowers. They only whisper the sweeeeeeet things yooooou say..." lalalalala.      my poor parental units.

edit #5: i woke up at 5:30 in the AM today. i was bored.

In response to crazy-flippin-adam-hayes, the-koolest-person-in-antietam,-altho-im-not-quite-sure-if-its-still-antietam-or-not-but-he's-still-the-koolest :

#1) "and it'll seem more like a song and less like its math......"   i dunno quite exactly what that means or if its a lyric or what, but here's my thoughts. math is icky. calculated, cut, solid, black and white. strict boundaries. i took ap calc this year....math is a brutal viscious weapon weilded by innocent looking geeky teachers against ur unsuspecting bystanding GPA. a song on the other hand.... free. open . emotional.  releasing, mesmorizing, reminiscing, inspiring, evoking.influencing, freeing. fluid. changing. my interpretation? it = life. life will seem more like a song, and less like its math... where its math is the reality of life, the hard harsh parts behind it that are glazed over by the song. but, my question to this statement is when? it seems as if there's a condition involved here. "if...., then it'll seem more ...." or "when you....., then it'll seem....." so answer me in my comments. fill in the blank of my if/when/how "and it'll seem more like a song and less like its math"

#2) "which is mores extravagent your body or your senses yourrr..............."       right. so... im not sure if this is an either/or question or if its supposed to continue and im supposed to answer with anything thats mine...... but, at any rate i'll answer it both ways.  if im choosing between my body and my senses, which is the most extravagant? hm.... well... dictionary.com says : "extravagant =

1. Given to lavish or imprudent expenditure
2. Exceeding reasonable bounds
3. Extremely abundant; profuse
4.  Unreasonably high; exorbitant:
5. Straying beyond limits or bounds; wandering.
6. Unrestrained
7. Recklessly wasteful

so..... in that case, i'd say my body most of the time.. however, where would my body be if not for my senses???  i don't know the answer. this is a goood question, so that's you alls task #2, comment ur answer.  ;)         <3always, sunni

finally done with high school. . . graudation was weird. knowing full well that that was the last time i'd see or speak to certain people. ever. but still saying, "we'll keep in touch, i'll c ya around" knowing its a lie. i'll really only miss a few. i wish i had gotten to kno better. was also weird getting so many hugs....  dallas moved in.....finally got his liscense. working on the whole job./car thing. im satisfied for now. my dance recital was the 17th. that was uh... interesting. wow, we did bad. u couldn't tell really tho. i felt so self-conscious the whole damn time. it didn't help having ppl tell me i look like a 12 yr old and refusing to believe me when i tell them im 18. fuck. i hate that. but i understand. i do look like a fucking 12 yr old when im not wearing much. my orientation thing for college was weds and thurs.... was fun.i think im gonna actually like KU a lot more than i thought i would. i had so much fun @ orientation. we played this game called huggy bear,.... beware the misnomer, its totally survival of the fittest, every person for themself. i sustained a pinched muscles, and multiple bruises. much fun tho. it was addicting. this one chick who's the captain was trying to recruit me for the women's rugby team. haha. sounded good until she was like, "and then we get totally smashed/wasted after the games" lol . that's not for me. im glad im not dorming. #1) 5th floor, no AC. im not usually the AC type but wow. even I was warm for once. #2) im not that much of a 24/7 party person. i have my days of solitude and silence. i'd rather snuggle up in bed with an old-attic-smelling book than go to a bar and get drunk and get hit on by skeezy frat dudes. eeew. and i saw an old friend, matt, while i was at orientation. apparently he's the editor of the college newspaper. shaun koch was there too, and it was high school all over again hearing them try to attempt his last name. haha. there was even a piano in the dorm lobby. :) and  ::::::KU has a cycling club!!!:::::::: im so pysched. 2 months...i can't wait. my graduation party was saturday. it miraculously didn't rain except early in the morning. my madre was freaking out majorly. nobody showed. practically. only like 50 ppl mayb. so that sucked. we were expecting around 200. .....

BUT LYDIA WAS THERE, SO THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS

so there's a ton of food in my fridge right now. like crazy i tell ya. i have a serious phobia of my stomach exploding. (really) so... i got like $800... i hope i get more cards in the mail or something from the ppl who didn't come to the party. i was hoping for more. :( lol . my cousin kara got like close to $3000 when she graduated..... lisa was betting $4000, my aunt barb betted $3500 and my mom said mayb around $2000... . i got ripped offf. i kno it shouldn't b about the money, but c'mon. everyone knows graddy parties are about the money when it comes down to it, besides, its fucking college, i could really use it. makes me feel like graduation didn't change anything, im still the forgotten one, and the one that doesn't fit in with the rest of the fam...... so that felt shitty. none of my friends came.

EXCEPT LYDIA BECAUSE SHE FLIPPIN AWESOME LIKE THAT

it was me, dallas, my cousin allie, lydia and we called dan borgman to come because he's kool like that. im such a friend-less loser. :( .....steve came tho!! :) he blew off his gf and came to party with me. that made my day. and i guess it was good to catch up on news with ppl and fam that i don't see that much. and my aunt wen got totally drunk, which is always good. i love her so much. and my aunt barb and lisa. those gals make me laugh. i left my party around 10 ish to go pick up mat and then we (mat, me, dallas) all went to kodo's party then. ya kno, to say goodbye b4 he goes off and dies. i gave hima hug and told him not to get killed. haha. i was hoping his party would be fun, but it was mostly dead by the time we got there. o well. so if anyone's still having a good party soon, tell me. i will come. :)  so... i think im gonna start doing some more freelance writing. . . cash is good. i should really just b a stripper or something, lots more $$$. lol. but it'd be weird if i saw someone i knew from hs or college. that would be really awful. prolly the only reason i wouldn't. hahah. so hung out with mat with one t on sunday. we all went to jam at cody's for a bit. much fun. so i was working at some stables for a lil while, in exchange for riding lessons  but Old-Lady-Saggy-Boobies* was kinda weird, some i'm not doing that anymore. (*thats not her real name, but i don't kno wt it really was. she told me like 3 different name 3 different times. i think she was schizo) but atleast i got some nice toned arm muscles. :) i wish it would stop raining. i desperately want to ride my bike. im excited for the upcoming saturdays. good parties coming up. i can't wait. my aunt mim's 4th o july party, storie and greg's party, my cousin kim's graduation, and tod n kim's annual bash - - bonfire, fireworks, pools, food, bands, dancing, usual stuff, camping --im so psyched for that one. they charge $20 admission, have parking, wristbands for liquor if u turn ur keys in.... lol...... its so great. i can't wait. so i should go to bed or sumthing... no one cares wt the hell i say anyways. g'nite all. if anyone wants to be my friend, call me, call my cell, email me, send me a letter....(i'm NOT pathetic, am i?? lol) just lonely.     <3 sunni