So I'm realizing how pointless xanga is.
No one posts anything, except for two of my friends.
And their posts aren't directed at me and I always feel kinda bad reading them...

On another note... today is Tuesday.

The city is making me sick, and the season's getting colder.
And it's not helping now that we're growing so much older.
In all this monotony, oh darling it's getting to me.
And how do they expect for me to plan out my life so precisely?
And all this negativity, you know it's getting to me.
I just don't understand why we all can't run away.
                                
I hope you get all the moments you deserve.
I'm sorry if I've made your life complicated.
I'm sorry for a lot of things, but most of all that I never got the chance to tell you that, no matter what happens next, I'll never be anything but grateful for every moment I spent with you. And even though I keep fumbling for the right words, all I really wanted to say was thank you.
                                                           
I know it's been a long time. You've lost that look in your eye.
 The one that told me everything was fine without a word.
But now we're standing face to face, with nothing left to say but goodbye to yesterday.
I don't know if I can make it.
( I don't know if I'm that strong.)
In my mind I see you clearly. I want to know, does this feeling go away?
Like shooting stars we shine and then we fade, breaking the promises we made.
              
We swing and we sway as this tiny voice in my head starts to sing, "You're safe child you are safe." You're safe child you are safe. Is this all too familiar? Does it happen all the time? I'm just asking you to hear me. Could you please, just once, just hear me? More than anything you wanted to be right Still it's you, you, it's you I can't deny.
              
                                           It's the quiet night that breaks me.
                                 I cannot stand the sight of this familiar place.
                                    [Tell me it won't always be this hard.]
         
I realized then why we respond to the sound of the waves, and the falling of rain, and wind in the trees. Because they are meaningless. They are nothing to do with us. They are outside our control. They remind us of a time, very early in our lives, when we did not understand the noises around us but simply accepted them in our ears; and so they provide blessed relief from our continual needy attempts to change our world in magic deed or endless thought. Meaningless sound, which we love against the anxiety of action, of pattern-making, of seeking to comprehend and change.
                                                             
I am watching over you from the stars; don't be scared, I know exactly where you are. Cause there's a piece of me and it's burning in your heart. I forgot to tell you something. I forgot to clear the air, forgot to apologize for nothing. I forgot that life's not fair. But I remember you swearing to me, I remember you never cried. I remember wanting to believe but now I don't remember why.
 
           I say to myself, "Self, why are you awake again?"
       It's one A.M, standing with the fridge wide open, staring at such a sight, florescent light.
The stars are bright, might make a wish. But as it is, I might watch TV,
                     cause it's nice to see people more messed up than me.
                                               
I woke up in mid-afternoon cause that's when it all hurts the most
I dream I never know anyone at the party and I'm always the host
If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts
You can never escape, you can only move south down the coast

There's no living in my life anymore. The seas have gone dry and the rain stopped falling.
Please don't you cry anymore.
Can't you see? Listen to the breeze, whisper to me please. Don't send me to the path of nevermore. Even the valleys below, where the rays of the sun were so warm and tender,
now haven't anything to grow.