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| My mother was fired from her job yesterday. She worked for the hospital
for over 25 years, and was a department head for over 10 of those, and
now she is out of a job. She has no idea if she is going to be able to
find a new job that will pay her the salary that she was receiving, and
she doesn't know if she is going to be able to afford the new house
that she put on her land last fall. She's been worried about this
happening for a while now, and I tried to convince her that they
wouldn't fire her because she was too important in her department. I
guess that I was wrong. I feel completely horrible about it, and it
scares me to death because I don't know how she's going to be able to
survive. She gets six months of severance pay, but still, who knows if
she'll be able to find a job within that amount of time.
Trent is gone. He's been in Twinsburg for two weeks now, and it's so
hard to not have him here. We're doing well, we talk on the phone
multiple times a day, but still, I'm afraid that I'm starting to lose
him, and that scares me too. I haven't felt this way about someone
else, and I'm so scared that I'm going to let him slip through my
fingers. I don't know what to do. I hope that I'm just thinking too
much into this, but it still worries me that I'm not.
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| - Leave the Pieces
The quarter is finally over! I'm officially a grad student now, which
is exciting. I got an email from my advisor yesterday that our
scheduling packets were being mailed, so soon it will be completely
real.
Trent's Dad ended up getting free tickets to the Dave Matthews concert
last week, so I went with his family. We had box seats and VIP parking,
so that was a new experience. It was quite enjoyable, other than the
fact that the rain made the night pretty cold and I was forced to
snuggle up under my sweatshirt the whole night.
The past two weeks have been busy since school let out. Last week was
full of work, and this week has been full of preparation for North
Carolina. I'm all packed and ready to leave tomorrow. Trent and I are
leaving in the morning and staying Friday night with his friend Dave
and his wife Sarah, so that should be fun as well. I'm really in need
of a vacation, life has been quite stressful lately, but I suppose
that's to be expected every once in a while.
Last week I was yelled at by my father and told that I was "fucking
worthless" because I'm not doing enough around the house. I've always
had problems with my self esteem, and sometimes he wonders why. How am
I supposed to be ok with myself if he says things like that to me? It
is so not a healthy thing, but I don't know how to tell him that he's
seriously messing up my self-image by saying things like that.
I must be off. I have to finish packing, not to mention eat something
for lunch, pack my dinner, and get ready for work. Have a great week
everyone!!
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| - Favorite Year
Things are better I suppose. I just have to realize that things are
good right now, and that the present is all I really need to think
about. I have a problem of worrying about things that are to come, and
as long as I don't forget that what I have right now is awesome and
perfect for the moment, then I'll be ok. Thanks for the concern you
guys, it really means a lot.
One final tomorrow at 7:30 am, and then I am done with undergrad! Wish me luck!
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| - I Can't Make You Love Me
Yesterday was not a good day. Something that I had been afraid of
turned out to be true, and let me tell you, the truth fucking hurts.
Here's hoping that today is better than yesterday.
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| - I'm Not Ready to Make Nice
A week and a half. That's all I have left in my undergraduate career at
OSU. It so does not seem like I've been here for three years, but I
have, and it's pretty awesome. I got my official acceptance letter from
the College of Pharmacy last week. It's all becoming so real. I am so
excited to be starting this new chapter of my life. Only four years
before I will be able to reach my dream that I've been working toward
for so long. It's really starting to become exciting.
I leave for North Carolina in a little over three weeks. I'm so looking
forward to spending an entire week with someone so amazing. I can
picture it now: long, romantic walks on the beach at sunset, dipping
our feet in the sparkling pool, and the list goes on and on.
Have I mentioned what I got Trent for graduation? It's probably the
best gift that I've ever given anyone, just because I put forth so much
thought into something that I knew he would enjoy. He loves Seinfeld,
so I bought tickets for us to see him when he comes to town at the end
of June. It's going to be an awesome time, not only because of the
entertainment, but also because of the company.
This summer is going to prove to be the best summer that I've had in a
long time, or at least I imagine it will. Work will be nice and easy,
and I will get to see friends again for the first time in what feels
like forever. Oh yeah, and I'll get to learn my way around a whole new
part of the state thanks to Trent's new job. This summer is definitely
going to be the start of something amazing.
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