pherensik's Xanga

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 03:15:34 GMT

"not there yet but im closer than i was yesterday

whatever i 4got to say

im hoping im blessed with another day

to say the words i needed to say

if not i guess things were meant to be this way

you cant change your faith

but u have the power to choose your destiny

so if i tried everything that i could

maybe i should just let it be

cus u cant forced chemistry

but if i give up now

everything will always be a mystery

i must be fooling myself cus

im no where close to where i wanan be

and i guess he`s the reason why

my calls aint getting though like how they use too

or why u aint calling like how u used too,

but one day ull secretly fall in love with me

and realize your eyes cant see what ur heart feels

maybe you deal with things differently

cus your heart n brain may be on 2 different pages

and i know love doesnt happen over night

it happens in stages

like Eye contact might spark a flame

and we might swap names

carry a small convo,

u know make sure you hit all the basics

( to be continue when i see you)

Friday, October 14, 2005

Fri, 14 Oct 2005 01:41:28 GMT

Yo welcome to my world

My life.

Where the nearest exit

Is in the mirror.

The only person holding u back from success

Is in the mirror

But be careful with what u see

cus the reflection that u see

may scare you...

so i warn you... to proceed with caution..

OFTEN people get lost

In there own reflection

That they see in the mirror

To much into themselves

I guess .,. but i wont ASSume

Or maybe they have the same questions?

Because i am also standing in the mirror

But yeah its been awhile

SO let me be the 1st one to admitt

Its been awhile

I am the child of the sun

My mother is the earth

So since birth i moved with the waves

That come in and out

Intuned with earths gravitational pull

So when i speak. i stand tall

With deep thoughts

that stretch across my mind when i speak

I was told u can never get higher then the peak

That u fell from

So maybe i should stop chasing shooting stars

Cus i am lost with the trail of light that they came from

I AM POETRY IN MOTION

I move with the sound of the ocean

DREAMS are like waves forever crashing

Many questions im scared of asking

So they will 4ever remain unknown

I carry stones in my pockets

To let yall know lines i can ROCK it

Maybe im just waiting for the right moment

Maybe im just waiting for someone to tell me

The wait is over

N if that day never comes

Be sure to wake me up after october

Because i am the child of the sun

N my mother is the earth..

Finding out the truth may always be a mystery

But the foundation of any good song is

MISERY..

With every verse i write

Your geting a piece of my life

So ima paint this page with pain

Cus just like the clouds that cant hold in the moisture

They gota break down n let it rain

N im sure alot of people wont understand where im coming from

But i hope after reading this ull see where i came from.

( KISNEREHP ) wilym 2merath`05 until infinity!

Monday, October 10, 2005

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 02:53:58 GMT

Yo i gota speak about some ill shit that gave me teary eyes

i was witnessing on hand HISTORY in the making

i dont even why all the girls cried

cus it was far from heartbreaking

and yeah its about my young man

whos about to lock up the 4 finger on the left hand..

A fairy tale relationship was BEING MADE to completion..

It all started a couple days ago

i gota phone call on my way home

dude was asking me for advice

speaking about*should he do?

should he bring her home?

should he copp the ice?

should he go through with it

(i replied back saying)

i seen this one coming

its love in yall eyes. even Stevie Wonder seen it

so no time to start fronting

if u want something, u better go after it

cus good girls are hard to find like 4leaf clovers

n yall been LOVERS for about 5 years

so why not` you not tieing the knot will make u an idiot

*(so that was the end of our converstation)*

next day we had dinner reservations

not no one knew but only a selective few

really it was just us 2..

i couldnt image what was goin through his head

i was the only person that knew

n i hate to admitt even i was afraid

cus im 23 years of age n turning a relationship into an engage

is a whole new stage...

He should of picked up HOW TO DO STREET MAGIC

cus he was no master of disguise

even i could sense the butterflyes in his eyes

but im sure everyone knew it

only i was the one who was cool with it

n maybe this picture will answer the question did he really do it?

*shouldnt he be one bending knees?

2 people in love + 5 years = LOVE

1.3 karat leo cut diamond enagement ring = couple of gs x 2

THE LOOK ON YOUR GIRLFRIENDS FACE

PRICELSS!

but yeah thats a wrap!

yall just witnessed history being made

but just remember all good things have a begining

and all mistakes have a ending that i thought was a threat

now that we talked it over

n now realize the small shit in the past i shouldnt sweat

I hope one day we;ll walk in the rain * with our umbrellas closed*

trip over eachothers words cus we/re listening so closely

or maybe this is the truth ....that

people come in n out of ur life like seasons

n everything happens for a reason *k.west*

i just hope this is the way its suppose to be

cus this kid gota LIVE

n i hope ur brave enough to hold my hand

while i walk over this ridge!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Sat, 01 Oct 2005 03:23:35 GMT

welpS` even tho its been a week since my fl trip. i thought ill write about it since it was a UNFORGETTABLE WEEKEND! * wow i see xanga has updated n now u have the option to bold/underline/ smiley faces n do other neat stuff =)*

so let me give u recap on the trip,, even tho its kind of old news by now.

friday arrive in jville trunks is there to pick me up and we past a thrift store..* i wanted to go there n raid what treasure jville has to offer but i didnt think trunk was into that, but little do u know he was looking for a blazer n what better place to shop then a thrift shop,

* biggest & nicest one ive ever seen*

* i just had to take a pic for evidence..*

but yeah friday was a bummer. we went a house party full of teeny boppers! stayed there for about time minutes then bounced back to trunks house to watch THE LONGEST YARD. n play speed quaters`HOW FUN!

but yeah its late im sure everyone who needs to know what happened in jville knows already, n if yall dont know then lets keep it that way, so just view the pics =)

duan juan the majic green monster? hahha

pherensik big pimping! WHAT U GOT ON THAT XZIBIT?

philly, boston, st pete n jville under one roof

closing times````

*thinking about how ima ripp the club hmmm

iono why but i have a bad habbit of doing that pose.

aww how cute`

aww i think i found the ugliest guy ever~EVER!

ok ok heres a better pic of him` * MY IDEA*

what a match right? hollar back mel meets pherensik newest member in black eye peas.2 celebrities in the same town

pics i stole from www.picturetrail.com/salahh

hahah thats comedy,. she lost the beat. who could finish the rice plate, n u know i won fair n square homie but thats some caption, hahha i had to post it.. but to wrap it up for yall the party was off the chain, NEED I SAY MORE~ N I LOVE SURPRISES LITTLE ONES, or BIG ONES. but ima call it a night `

NEED I SAY MORE? PHERENSIK N XSPEK DONE DID IT` hahhaha

but yeah theres more pics on` www.picturetrail.com/pherensik .

Jacksonville.com: Photos Kodakgallery.com Browse Photos

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Sat, 17 Sep 2005 01:43:12 GMT

man! i just bought a new digital camera. so time to go picture crazy hahahahh!

o yeah i didnt have no one to take the pics so i used a mirror` yeah i know ima loser!

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Sun, 28 Aug 2005 08:11:32 GMT

dam its 8am on a fukin sunday morning! woke up with cotton mouth n now i cant go to bed.Makin matters worst my mom cut off the cable since no one watches it, well i did but she didnt but i aint paying for it cus i barely do` but now will be a good time to catch some Grilling with BOBBY FLAY on the cooking channel. but last nite djed some sweet 16 , it was my coworkers niece some spanish ppl.Man! hip hop got no play , reggae barely got play, but what did was stuff i couldnt understand, reggaeton, salsa * not the dip* but i was there for like 8 hours. And what sucks the most from doing local gigs is not getin paid until the next day, or when i see em at work```FCUK!

but check out something i stole off my cousins page, iono if he wrote it or if its a song but i wish i was this poetic

I sit here clutching useless lists
And keys for doors that don't exist
I crack my teeth on pearls
I tear into the history
Show me what it means to me in this world
Yeah in this world

'Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind

I see the parts but not the whole
I study saints and scholars both
No perfect plan unfurls
Do I trust my heart or just my mind
Why is truth so hard to find in this world
Yeah in this world

'Cause I am due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes
Till I understand or go blind

I know that there's a point I've missed
A shrine or stone I haven't kissed
A scar that never graced my wrist
A mirror that hasn't met my fist
But I can't help feeling like I'm

Due for a miracle
I'm waiting for a sign
I'll stare straight into the sun
And I won't close my eyes

* shit like that gives me inspiration* well ima try to finish geting some shut eye, im more hungry then tired but yeah

(throw back pic)

KANYE WEST! was really in there` n who ever the thought mister soulful man snowboard?

Monday, August 22, 2005

Mon, 22 Aug 2005 03:20:57 GMT

sup xangsterZ! with a Z for the gangsterZzz!

but yeah whats new with me , hmmmm

project blow out is coming along slowly n ugly! man it feels like i have a ball of lint on the top of my head , but ima grow it out to either spike my hair, mohawk it, guhawk it or dreedlock it. its time for a change.

congrats to ateh pearl! heard u got that job in nyc, hahah maybe this time i can go visit, * when i have money to shop*

this past weekend was the boys weekend out. We decided to go to ocean city md.( i was never there but i heard alot of stuff about it, Heard is the keyword there it wasnt anything different from any other beach n strip. i mean hampton beach in new hampshire is just as good, smaller tho. Clearwater has nice soft babypowder like sand.but southbeach is one beach to talk about. but oceancity md, hmm dont believe the hype * believe none of what u hear n half of what u see

so friday i get off work at 1am. so that leaves me 5 hours to pack n get ready for the beach.,.It took me like 30 mins to pack a supply of clothes to last one day, i wasnt to worried about impressing anyone .i just wanted to get out of here, aka YORK PA! so i end up staying up all night friday n left my house at 6am to meet up with the other guys,

robb = aka robin the driver. viet guy who reminds me of Benny hill ( the old school comedian)

bob= mister espn * i call him bob backwards because u can spell his name BOB backwards hahah

Chris = aka C mack , hes a cool typical a/f dude

jose= now this guy was the outkast! he was like 40 years old, looked like he was fresh from jail but acted like one of us, weird but it worked haha

so we set off 8am saturday morning, its a 3 hour drive so i burn some cds, that mainly consist of common, kanye west, common,mosdef, talib kweli., taking back sunday, fall out boys, simple plan , some red hot chillie, haha u know u gota have varitity 5 guys n we have 3 hours to kill, o yeah i burnt some instrumentals haha freestyle comp all the way down.

*fuk i just wrote finished the whole entry n my computer kicked me off*

but let me recap the highlights

bob backwards n c mack` goin head to head playing speed cup quaters. shots of 151 bacardi a total of 4 of them, man i remember on my 21st i took like 6 of them big ones , n woke the next day without even making it to the countdown on new years day hahah i tko`ed at 11pm .C mack comes out on top with a 4/0 sweep! n some good trash talking hahah

pherenSSSIIICK! n jose goin at it . But we.re playing for beer instead , i ripp him a new asshole

c mack- naming his clothes , this guy had all hes shirts on one hanger. he gave his club shirt the name G.P *guarantee pussy haha! but after walking to the club we gave him a new nickname G,N, guarantee no entry, haha he got flagged in the line

our club was only 4 blocks away from the club which equals a rough 20 min walk. So we deicide to troop it to the club to only find out my capris were to long,(shorts had to be above the knee caps) wtf so i have to walk back n change shorts, man! bob backwards let me borrow his golf shorts hahah

club was wack , i think im geting tired of the club song, same music, same dance moves, but different ppl, iono wasnt my thing. it was way to hot in there over crowded. but yeah i left the club at 1130 with bob backwards, n went to bed at 12am on a fukin saturday haha ima loser!Seacrets - Jamaica, U.S.A. - Home

i wake up 3am C wack comes walkin in with stories that he shared a taxi with 3 guys and went redneck bar hopping with these guys, they even bought him drinks hahah. i asked if the guys were cute? hahah wtf is he doing picking up guys? iono u figure it out

4am, jose comes in the room with stories how he met some breezies but couldnt remember no`ones cell phone number, so he was chillen in a escalade (the girls) n went back to there telly. lucky him

5am, i wake up again to hear 2 motherfukers snoring away man! after 20 mins of getin used to the bass! i hear what sounds to be like heavy footsteps, that are getin faster n faster. then i realized where i was at n wat time it was. The couple in the room beside us were fuking, i mean FUKIN HARD! it must of lasted for about atleast 30 mins , it even woke Cwack up

but yeah thats my weekend for yall

random convos

* i was eating sour apples with the sauce, talkin to texas sister

KkaaaY: where the baby apples come from?
XpherensikX: a tree
XpherensikX: duah
XpherensikX: where else
KkaaaY: shut up
KkaaaY: who's backyard you creep in
XpherensikX: store parking lot
XpherensikX: iono my mom does the dirty work
KkaaaY: hahahahaha

still getin pics from the party like 2 weeks ago

a night after the concert

robin jordan taking a swing

pherensicck woods taking a stroke at it, look how professional my form is , that ball went past the horizons, like 500 yards ez!

( our souls belong to god... but our bodies belong to us) Rasputin

one more thought? does anyone still read this? haha fukit im bored anyways i cant wait to move! but iono the numbers dont lie , i got 16,325 hits on my page where are all the eprops? scroll down to the bottom n ull make it go up haha

Friday, August 12, 2005

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 02:57:34 GMT

Yo good girls are hard to find like 4 leaf clovers,

u know they exist because your friends have em

but you want one of your own...one u can take home

so giving up isnt part of my plan , since i have 2 hands

ima work the field until i find her..

n when i do .ill cut off my hands b4 i lose touch with her

there will be so much more about her then just looks

i found out that the prettiest ppl do the ugliest things..

i find it sexy when a girl cares about a book more then her look

pretty SOON you`ll have to visit the museum to find a girl thats good

pretty Soon those chicks will be extinct ,,faster then one could blink

which is ..182nd of a second faster then a heartbeat becuase

one second u may think shes cute

on the 2nd second u may think shes the one for you

on the 3rd second your thinking shes walking towards you

about to approach you

n on the 4th second u find out shes walking past you`

within 5 seconds,

u liked,u loved and u got hurt by her, ~ha

when was the last time u took A WALK that u could remember?

when was the last time u found a real dime? probably never

even Common lost track of himself when he saw the light

he was blind in love like a man with no sight, tryin to taste

a flavor that he couldnt catch

in a race he couldnt win

cus just like him

i am deep with thoughts

but i cant swim

so i stay on the shallow end of thinnnngs~( need i say more?

news update!

my car is almost fixed whoohooo.

labor day weekend i was suppose to go to north cali n visit my sister n father. But my moms hating saying i should spend that money to fix my car n pay my bills* shes right like always* so ill just say my cali trip for winter so i can go snowboarding n visit my niece on her bday on xmas

CHICKEN SCRATCH!~ the cd is finished spent 2 days n some hours on it, n it still sucks man! ima make a revised edition, but if yall want a copy send me a copy of ur favorite burnt songs or cd n we;ll trade~ thats fair cus i wanan hear everyones favorite music n u can get a taste of my work, * dont get ur hopes up * email me to exchange info` hard copy only i aint sending it online `cheap ass! xpherensikx@aol.com

Project blow out is in affect! ima grow out my hair for snowboarding season ive been bald for 4 years , if ur not counting the dreedlock stage i had which only lasted for 2 months when i found out my hair is to thin to lock up `man!

pics from the party

youngcow, pherensik, jhood the babyface gangster who dances in flipflops

ppl say i look 15, im amazed that they can see thru my clothes =X pervS

last but not least my favorite all time

i see a future actress reading her scripts, or a artisit studying her lyrics. hahah n if u fail to leave a eprop she;ll bite ur ankles n shit in ur shoes =)

ps! the last juror! good book even tho i listened to it on cd at work 4 out of 5 stars, until then im outZ

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 13:44:34 GMT

Yo im running on empty

because july got the best of me

times are hard, shit got me stressed the fuked out

making matters worst my clutch decided to go out

now im at a point in my life contemplating on which route should i take

thinking about which heart should i break

mine or yours? this isnt easy like seeing me with stevie`s eyes

if one door is closed then the other has to be open

but im not hoping for nothing

becuase ima admitt i made mistakes

no one is perfect , no one walking this earth is

n if its worth it, we can work through it

rite now my window is blurry

my camera is out of focus

what did i ever do to provoke this ?

i finally realized im the king of my own throne

my story is one making and im walking the road alone

i only have 2 hands , 1 heart n 1 brain with a plan

if u wanan join your goin to have to stimulate my mind

then my heart will follow

i know my situation is a hard pill to swallow

give me your attention and im yours to keep..

i was told to never give up n strengthen my weaknesses up

i gota ante my cards up even if i have to bluff

what was said n done still aint enough

cus i see ur still not giving up

or is it that i have to give in

my plan in life is to win n not to lose

it feels like my brain has a 30 second timer n im all out

the fuse been lite n ima bout to blow the fuck out

i aint got nothing to lose but awhole to prove

call me the kevin castoner of the game

becuase ive been dancing with the wolves

( CHICKEN SCRATCH VOLUME 1) yeah check out pics from saturday`s party at my boys BRIANS HOUSE , YEES 21st bday peep it

pherensik till da west!

the CoWorkers, tb *from south AFrica, me,marky mark from usa n jd from Engola`

random fobs dancing

AT work no play` go deejay go deeejay hahhaha

crowd pic` there must of been 500 ppl in the house

n there was 500 more outside

girls gone wild goes to ENGOLA~ AMAZING!!!!!

groupie sisters hahha ** funny fact** they have the same birthdate, i guess their parents only like fuking while drunk on new years` hmmm bdays on sept 17th u do the math` iono u tell me? but ill have to make this a 2 chapter entry becuase theres more pics that i need to get n picturetrail is acting like a bIZZZZNitch`

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Sun, 24 Jul 2005 03:44:06 GMT

JOCKED BY MANY

HATED BY SOME

TALKING TO NONE

WAITING FOR ONE

UNTIL THEN IM GONE,

like the wind that moves tress,

forever prevailing moving across the sea`s

i can not keep things all in one place

i think its unquie when girls draw on there face =)

that just shows shes a walking piece of canvas

amatures & anaylist anaylize this as a state of bordem

but i see it as freeing your mind n living in freedom..

i love to chase but im scared to fall

this is something new to me

a new feeling for me

im used to being the catch .. of them all

until now i never been in the postion to fall.

i am short with words

but i stand tall when i speak

*SO CATCH ME IF U CAN*

but in the mean time ,,,,

let me take u to a place where only blind people can see

its a place that has no sight no touch just a inner feeling

its a place rite up the block from lovers lane

if u want the key to my heart

ur goin to have to make love to my brain

people say is love is blind ,

so is that a place where only blind people can see?

ha, ha , ha you tell me???

but that feeling is undiscribable

like a man with no tongue tryin to taste

like a man with no legs tryin to win a foot race

thats senseless , but luckily i got the sixth sense

like Bruise Willis

cus i know yall feeling this =)

this shit can go on, and ON

like Palestinians droping bombs over in Lebanon

that drama will go on , n on

but karam will fall upon people who hate

it takes more energy to hate a person ,,then it takes for u to love a person

but i am a true believer of faith but u have the power to choose your own destiny, real ppl can see the fake, n fake ppl will date the fake( ok im done only because i switch from listening to bob marley n common and now im listening to jayZ haha iono if yall call tell styles *

but yeah july is the worst month ever! *for me that is*

lets start from the begining of the month

Arrive in fl , saying * man i never got sunburn* well due to the fact that i was never in fl during the summer,** ouch!! sunburn on my shoulders on forehead

go to clearwater beach n shes having her time of the decade aka RIDETIDe meaning u shouldnt go in nor touch the water` just like a girl on her period, everything that was in the water was coming out of the water dead =X

4th of july went to see sorry ass fireworks at the pier in fl, WACK ` i would of had more fun playing with matches n those ol school snakes. on the downside i jump in a car with broken a/c * no wonder fat ppl dont exisit in fl` i must of sweated of 1 million calories

well im home driving home from workin a 10 hour day n bam,!!! im doing 45 in a 25 which equals = 165 dollar ticket , man!!! n while in fl my car was parked at the airport n the inspection sticker was due, add another 15 bucks on that

later on in the week im driving to the gym` like right after i do my morning chores` brush teeth, eat cereal or eggs* so im siting at a stop light n i have to spit a huge one out` * i roll down the window `cock back , aim n FFFIIIRREEEEE =0 i must didnt get enough tailwind behind it cus it came out n dropped on my shoulder` hahahha fukin nazty! yeah u tell me` im a clutz!

ok this is some days after that im at the gym` n NEVER EVER EVER~ eat sour mangos the night b4 the gym` cus in the morning i had harboiled eggs n sticky rice = bad stomach! well i didnt have to shit but i was on the trend mill doing my .5 mile to get my heart rate jumping n all the sudden i have a urge to let loose on some gas. I have like .2 on the trend to go so i try to hold it in but since im running its kind of hard to keep my stomach muscles contracted to hold it in, so i let loose. silent but really deadly =X MAANNNN! n the worst part is there was 2 girls behind me within smelling distance on the elipticol machines`( hahah fukin shit i swear smelled like the yolk in the eggs but rotten)

last but not least this just happened saturday at the drive thru at Taco bell b4 work, im almost out of gas the light comes on , so i turn off the a/c n put down the window.Well there`s 3 cars in front of me n the line is moving slowly so i lift up my shirt n fan my stomach off * while doing that i check out my abs aka gut* n i notice eyes on me` not just eyes but 4 of em. i look to the left inside taco bell n see 2 huge black girls knocking n waving on the window =X i felt like a fish in a fish tank with ppl staring at me` THE WORST MONTH I TELL U~

n yeah last night was the John legend, common, n de la soul concert, =( missed it cus i had to work mandatory overtime) FUK! n its a wrap on the other note` anyone got any plans or anything happening in your city?

mkskyler: yo hurry and plan another trip