pimpmamajo's Xanga Site

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Wednesday, June 04, 2008

I just signed on again and find out that the messages i posted exactly 3 years ago (the last time i had signed on) is the exact same situation im going through now...holy shit....
no rocky....lost my first love for real this time and feel like dying because its just so permanent...
no job....downsizing sux and does not bode well for anal retentive virgos with anxiety attacks...
but.....at least the new weezer album is frikking great....
i miss everyone. i miss what i used to be. i miss having a whole heart instead of this shattered one. i miss not being pathetic most of all.
Bring it...

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

ok, yea, i think my spontaneous bursts of crying fits are due to me pms-ing.....i just figured it out, hahahha...........but also due to the new cds i bought....everyone, (yes, all you 3 people that read this...) check out the band rilo kiley's songs " does he love you?" and "i never"..........i've been singing that at the top of my lungs everyday.....its full of unfullfilled angst and hope......and then when ur done, listen to the new mariah carey song.....damn shes good! gotta love that first single she had.....hmm hmm good.....

Monday, July 11, 2005

fine....FINE!!! I guess it IS time for me to update my frikkin xanga.....im ok tho, how bout you?

but no, im not really ok...panic attacks at night do no qualify as ok.....neither do crying-fits, huh....why does all this stuff have to happen all at once? breaking up with a truly innocent and great guy, interviewing for a new job due to bad work situation, possibly having to sell the house due to my dad closing his factory a week ago, bloody nervous blood tests, getting rid of my annoying but beloved dog ling ling, and DRUG TESTS!!! WHY?!?!?! argh.....

and all this all alone....but at least i kno he still cares for me...he came over in 20 mins to help me out of the panic attack and stayed with me all night...but then again, i asked him why he doesnt profess his love for me as often as he used to and his answer was "well, im still confused about your definition to love and to be in love..." WTF, PEOPLE?!?!?! so now i know he stil loves me but he's not in love with me anymore...then why torture me with phone calls and regular "i love you's"? seriously....but we're good frens and we'll always be but still......even if i know i'll be better off, it still hurts like a fucker.....

and why do mattresses hafta cost so much?? dont they know i have back problems but im also on the low end of the income line?? damn you SLEEPYS!!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

Saturday, April 24, 2004

KLED283 [12:03 AM]: wut have u been up to?? buddy, i haven't seen u in FOREVER!
HONEY9282 [12:04 AM]: wha?? we saw each other like 2 days ago.....
HONEY9282 [12:04 AM]: hahahahhaha
KLED283 [12:04 AM]: no no no...that was FOUR , count it, "4!" days ago!
HONEY9282 [12:06 AM]: im busy with frikkin school..........im gonan miss it once we graduate...im gonna miss seeingkris everyday and im gonna miss being the teachers pet and im gonan miss my campus and shopping during every break i get and im gonna miss eating pizza while thinking of ways to cheat on the final and im gonan miss checking out all the hotties near stern and im gonna miss all the funky looking people i see on the street which i aspire to emulate one day.......
HONEY9282 [12:06 AM]: boo-hoo-hoo.........:'(
KLED283 [12:07 AM]: awwww...you're really gonna miss school?
HONEY9282 [12:07 AM]: i wanna cry.......
HONEY9282 [12:07 AM]: the other day i was in rockys car and he was like, so ur graduating soon, eh?
KLED283 [12:07 AM]: aw buddy don't cry...you still have ME!!!!
HONEY9282 [12:07 AM]: and i was like no.......
HONEY9282 [12:07 AM]: and he was like, what, may 10?
HONEY9282 [12:07 AM]: and im like yea....
HONEY9282 [12:07 AM]: and he said, thats about 2-3 weeks away and i was like no,.........
HONEY9282 [12:07 AM]: and hes like, yea..........
KLED283 [12:08 AM]: awww
HONEY9282 [12:08 AM]: and im like NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! ITS NOT ROCKY!!!!! ITS FUCKING NOT THAT SOON!!! OK!??!?! YOU GET ME!?!??!
HONEY9282 [12:08 AM]: and i flipped..........then i panicked and realized schools over for me in 2 weeks....
HONEY9282 [12:09 AM]: and i was freakin out
HONEY9282 [12:09 AM]: rocky had to calm me down.......
KLED283 [12:09 AM]: but then...think of the positive side...no more work, or tests...and you can hang out w/o having to worrry about studying
HONEY9282 [12:12 AM]: yea but what about not seeing the cute people inmy classes? what about not shopping whenever i have a break? what about hanging out with my classmates who i like for the first time til we get to know each other better? what about meeting new people so i dont hafta rely on my steady freinds every weekend? what about seeing kris and jee every week and hanging out? what about making fun of the stupid people in class? what about making silly mean comments about the people we dont like?
HONEY9282 [12:14 AM]: omg........how am i gonna meet new people now?!?!? new people my own age?!?!?!
HONEY9282 [12:14 AM]: and im never gonan be the teachers pet anymore!!!!!!!!! but they love meeeeeeeee!!!!!!
KLED283 [12:14 AM]: well...make friends w/ juniors now...and it'll be all good!
HONEY9282 [12:15 AM]: ur suggestions do not amuse me......
HONEY9282 [12:15 AM]: go away while i cry.......
KL