"you know you are in love when you see the world in her eyes and her eyes everywhere in the world"

i like that quote so much....its so romantic and stuff.  ok, nothing new really...oh it was my birthday but i didn't do anything cuz my mom didn't have money at the time but i guess i have plans for this weekend which should be kewl. I just really hope at somepoint, i get sushi.....im dyyyying for it i want it soooooooooo bad man...ok im bored. oh, ive decided what i want to do after high school. ive decided to become a pastery chef/ italian food chef type person...hehe ive been looking into schools and stuff and im so excited. i think im going to look for like little cooking classes around here. just to get started and stuff. ok good night peeps.

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So what ive realized is that i do love him and now that ive said it to him, its so much easier for me and i feel like its okay and im not going to get hurt and i guess it also helps that he loves me too. Yesterday it was 2 months but it feels way longer then that. I was reading these not really known facts about sex and one of them says that alot of people say that sex in a backseat of a car is way better then on a bed or a table And ive got to say...I agree. Its little small but u find ways and plus it lasted longer then it usually does. plus it was really good...hehe. You know whats relly annoying though? This whole patch thing is making my body all out of wack. Ive been bleeding for a month. and thats cuz i didn't wait for my period to even start when i put the very first patch on. all well hopefully it will go away. cuz i want some more lovin but its really embarassing when you are bleeding...damn....my period better go away damt. I think i will survive...hopefully. I sometimes wonder how long we will last. cuz collage is going to be very different, we will see less of eachother and he will be invited to hella parties and I will still have a curfew and still be in school. I also started thinking about whats going on for alex's prom. cuz usually theres a after party with drinking and stuff and if he invites me which i think he will, or at least it would be the right thing to do, are we going to go get a room and party? whats going to happen? I don't know. and then when MY prom comes will i be allowed to bring someone who doesn't go to the school anymore? or what if i am asked by someone else or what if we aren't together anymore....hmmmm i dunno. whatever. but anyways, thats whats been going on in my head so yea....lol

~*~*~*~*Star

hey anyone who still reads this. hopefully no one anymore. i decided that myspace is kewl but u cant write whats going in ur life and everything you are thinking. so i have come back to xanga for the time being.

so mi novio is in Las Vegas for like 4 days and all i got for a good bye was 2 pecks on the lips, no hug or anything. call me greedy or whatever but i got kinda pissed after that . and then he left today hasn't called me or anything to at least let me know he got there safley. or anything. plus, u don't tell me u love me and then just leave and sy "see you on  monday"  and don't call and leave me here to dwel in the bordem of a town. meanwhile, im getting more pissed but trying not to think about it and let it go but still....i can be a lil pissed.

I tryed to move my car today to a different parking space but noooooo, my car wouldn't start cuz the battery just had to die and its a brand new battery. so tomarrow i have to jump start it. My mom like doesn't want to take me to the DMV, she wants me to get there on my own, yea one problem, they need u there to sign a paper saying u r allowing for me to take the test but noooooo she wants me to go there, waste money and if she does have to be there, go all the way home and make the trip there worth nothing. and the receipt expires in a few weeks. im so pissed at her for that. im about to just explode on her. if she tells me to take care of it again...i swear....

Then school, i kinda don't really give a fuck about like 3 of my classes now. media academy. In engish, theres too much reading assigned everynight and she doesn't tell us what our hw is and we are supposed to just automatically know. and if ur internet isn't working, that sucks for you. I am not learning anything in U.S. History but then again, ive already heard it all before. but im sick of the class and then tv video tech, my grade went down so much just cuz my group im in is irresponsible and don't listen to me. and all the hard work and time we put in to our documentry, doesn't mean anything. cuz its not a "documentry" so whats the fucking point in doing one? I told my group that we didn't have one but once again, no one wants to listen to lil ol me. fuck it. im sick and tired of all the bull shit. I just really want to get this all over with.

ive come to the realization that my lil friend who i shall name JACK, really doesn't care whats going on in my life or how i am if it doesn't envolve him somehow. Jack told me that next time he asks me a question, just answer yes or no and don't give excuses well im sorry but if being honest is an excuse then u must be seriously messed up in the head. and right now all i have to say to you is Fuck you. wow what a great fucking friend. im sorry i care how u feel and whats going on in your life but i thought that being a friend means u care about them and are concerned for them and they are to you too. If there is some other deffinition, please go ahead and tell me. 

so basically right now all i have to say is FUCK IT ALL.

Currently Listening A Walk to Remember By Various Artists see related

- only hope

hey ppl that still read this. its been quite a while since ive up dated. well now im officialy a junior. yay. lol ummm and i mostly go on my myspace which i put the link down below on some other previous  entry i wrote here. but i update pics and good stuff like that. if ne one has a myspace let me know! lol ttylaters byez