I'm not going to whine or complain about being single on Valentine's Day or how I've ALWAYS been single on Valentine's Day.

I still feel the need to remind all that I hate and loathe this wretched holiday.

Ok, I love my church. Our church has been making some big steps forward to becoming a more healthy church. We're in the continued process of making the facilities that God has given us more aesthetically pleasing and reflect our commitment to giving God our best. We're currently remodeling our fellowship hall, will be remodeling the youth room, & adding a parking lot.

Lately I have been dreading one part of my Sunday, worship experience: the Invitation (Altar Call).

Our church has been making good progress, but I'm getting more and more frustrated (or maybe just impatient) with things. On one hand we're definitely putting our money where our mouth is to fix the buildings and make them presentable. On the other hand I feel like we're still not doing anything. We are still doing very little ministry outside of the church. The events that we have done over the past year were great and it's definitely a HUGE improvement for this church.

But, I dread the invitation time in our service each week. Week after week, the sermon ends, I start to sing...... nothing happens. No one comes forward. No one makes a decision. No one even comes forward to pray (well, very rarely).

If we're becoming a healthy church, where are the hearts being changed? Where are the salvations? Why are the few visitors we have (some who have been coming for months) not joining the church and getting involved? Why are people who have been members for years (or even decades) still so apathetic? Why are we still not doing outreach? Why? Why? Why? WHY?!

.... why don't I see God moving in our church?

.... why am I judging our church's health on numbers or decisions made?

.... why am I so impatient?

I want so bad to see God move in a big way in our church. I want our church to reach our community. I want our students to be on fire for God. I want our adults to take initiative in ministry. I want........

I want.....

I'm pathetic.

What does God want? I feel that the things I mentioned above that I want for our church, are the things that God wants for our church. Maybe those things can not happen if our people are ashamed of our facilities. Maybe First Baptist Church of Cupertino, Ca, will truly become a healthy, passionate, growing church when we are as proud of our God as we are of our newly remodeled buildings.

Maybe we need to remodel our hearts from a heart of complacency and apathy to a heart of passion and purpose.

Please God, let me do what's right. Let me be patient and wait for your timing. Let me pursue you with wreckless abandon and hope that others do too.

Amen.